Above: Fred Flintstone has been charged with the murder.
Earlier today in Bedrock, residents were shocked to hear that Fred Flintstone had confessed to
the brutal slaying of long-time neighbor and best friend, Barney Rubble. Apparently the two men
had been engaged in a dispute over a bowl of a popular children's breakfast cereal. Theodore
Stoneworth observed the victim in a mad dash down Obsidian Blvd. with Flintstone and his dog in
pursuit.
"Rubble was taunting Flintstone" said Stoneworth. "He kept saying 'the fruity taste is all
mine!' I knew there was going to be trouble, so I called the police." But unfortunately for
Rubble, they arrived too late. A BRPD spokesman described the crime scene. "It was horrible.
There wasn't much of Mr. Rubble left by the time our officers arrived. Most of the mess was just
blood and brightly coloured bits of soggy dessicated rice." Police quickly apprehended
Flintstone while animal control officers captured the dog. The animal, a toy Bronto, was put
down upon arrival at the Bedrock Humane Shelter. As for Flintstone, charges have been filed for
second degree murder.
Flintstone's former employer, a Mr. Slate, was dumbfounded by the incident. "I can't believe
Fred would do such a thing. He was a good employee. Well, except for that time he quit his job
without notice so he could become a rock star. And I never would have thought he'd be capable of
harming another human being. Unless you count all those times he threw rocks at Rubble's head.
He was a model citizen."
Rubble is survived by his wife, Betty, and their adopted son Bam-Bam. He was a distinguished
member of the Royal Order of Water Buffalo and an accomplished bowler.
