Citing poor accuracy in predictions and general customer unhappiness, heavily armed
Fair Trading Commission (FTC) agents raided the Fort Lauderdale headquarters of Miss
Cleo's psychic hot line, seizing business equipment. Eye-witnesses recall seeing
agents removing telephones, bundles of customer lists, crystal balls, mystic charms
and goat entrails from the premises. FTC agents employed the services of the
Environmental Protection Agency to deal with the more noxious items. One FTC agent
was quoted as saying "The horror! The horror! Toxic marketing slime dripping
from the customer lists, I'm gonna have nightmares about that for weeks!"
Though the action against Miss Cleo was explained as purely a consumer protection measure, doubts were cast upon this position by a remark made by Greg Wyman, the chief of the FTC's consumer protection department. "I'm not a psychic, but I can foresee this: If you make deceptive claims, there is an FTC action in your future." Wyman's comment suggests that the FTC will expand operations into the fortune-telling business, since the major player in the field has ceased operations. Gordon Fleisman, the head of the FTC approved of how smoothly the operation on Miss Cleo's psychic hot line had proceeded, stating his full confidence in his subordinate. He commented on the obvious inaccuracy of Miss Cleo's service, most notably her failure to predict the raid. "I guess Miss Cleo didn't get her own fortune right. What a lousy psychic!" |
Life of a Voodoo Goat Dozr Stage 1: The goat is carefully raised as to not let any of the magic ooze out Stage 2: It is then given a horrible chainsaw death Stage 3: Psychics spout off mumbo-jumbo while digging through Gabby's intestines Stage 4: They then have a dinner of goat curry |