Most of us don't have to worry about how we're going to die -- it'll be cancer !

What a party we're going to have when they find the cure for cancer .

The rotten smell on the NJ Turnpike by the Meadowlands. It's great when you have a car full of people and you have to fart or explode. Nobody will suspect you. " It's this damn Meadowlands smell again," they'll say.

The M&M plant in Hackettstown .

Drew University, Kane University, Fairly Dickenson University great little schools, Which proves once again, it's not size that counts ... I think .

Atlantic City. Gambling and shows. There's only one reason to go to Las Vegas -- legalized prostitution nearby .

Wildwood. By the way, is " Wildwood " a French-Canadian word for " Vacation Holy Land " ?

Canoeing down the Deleware River. Warning : Stay on the New Jersey side of the river. Those Amish teens can be a nuisance .

Paper Mill Playhouse, Millburn. Broadway caliber theater without the degenerates in Times Square or those New York City rip-off parking garage prices .

The nude beach at Sandy Hook .Can anybody tell me which area of the beach that is ?

The Yankees will have somewhere to play a few years from now .

Turtle races in Chester .

Plenty of AT&T jobs . Good, steady, safe, " as long as you live " type of jobs (as long as you survive the layoffs every six weeks) .

Where else can you do 80 miles an hour... and be the slowest car on the road ?

If you know the exit, you can't get lost .

The tomatoes, man, the tomatoes .

Earthquakes!?!? What the hell are they ?

" Best pancakes in the world " - Broadway Dinner, Summit .

Best grub around - White Diamond, Clark .

South Side Johnny and the Asbury Jukes .

Without New Jersey, they would have to cancel the Oscars ... not enough nominees .

Frank Sinatra .

Bruce Springsteen .

Jon Bon Jovi .

Eryka Badu .

Holy Cow !!! Phil Rizzuto. Need I say more ?

Home of Christine Whitman, who strongly supports enforcement of the 55 MPH speed limit, but the Star Ledger caught her car doing 85 MPH .

The " Wizard of Menlo Park " Thomas Alva Edison .