Body Like New Jersey

The girl said to her date, " You're in for a real trip, I have been told I have a body like New Jersey . " He grab's her waist and asked " What's this ? " She replies, " This is Middlesex . " Then he grab's her butt and asked " What's this ? She replies " Freehold . " Then he grab's her breast and asked " What's this ? " She replies " Point Pleasant . " Then he looks down and says, " I guess that's Cherry Hill ? " And she replies " No, that's Eatontown . "

God Created New Jersey

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days . Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day . He inquired of God . "Where have you been?" God signed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, " Look Michael, look what I've mad . " Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, " What is it ? " It's a planet," replied God, " and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance . " " Balance ? " inquired Michael, still confused . God explained, pointing to different parts of earth . " For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor . " God continued, pointing to different countries. " This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice . " The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said, " What's that one ? " " Ah, " said God . " That's NEW JERSEY, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, hills, forests, and a magnificent ocean ! The people from NEW JERSEY are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world . They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace . " Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, " What about balance, God ? You said there would be balance !!! " God replied wisely, " Wait until you see the idiots I'm surrounding them with in New York, Pennsylvania, and Delaware !