| Page of Inappropriate Names |
| Ever meet a guy named Francis? How about a girl named Blake? Well, we have--and we don't care for it! I don't care how old a tradition it is to name the eldest son Dana, this is the 21st century (much as I hate when people use that as a justification for something) and in present day terms, Dana is a girl's name. Since we don't expect the morons of the world to be able to decide for themselves whether or not a particular name is for a boy or a girl, here is a helpful list of inappropriate names. UPDATE: Alright, so there's not too many names that are gender-inappropriately-used. Because of this, we've decided to turn this page into a page of names we hate and why, in addition to a page meant as an advisory warning against any of you tarderific expecting parents out there. PS Children suck; congratulations on ruining your life! |
| What Not To Name A Boy: 1. Lesley 2. Francis or Frances (unless you're French, in which case you already suck) 3. Dana 4. Shannon 5. Janet 6. Beverly 7. Ashley 8. Lauren (Pixy Ninja Monkey swears she's had 2 male doctors named Lauren; how weird is that? 9. Kelsey 10. Stacy Other Boy Names We Don't Like: Dick (hey man, nothing personal; we'd have a hard time with a girl named Vagina too--no pun intended) |
| What Not To Name A Girl: 1. Blake 2. Sean Other Girl Names We Don't Like: 1. Anything misspelled in order to feature an 'i' on the end; examples: Tiffani Staci Jenni Laci If you spell your name this way, you are a whore*. 2. Anything misspelled, period; examples: Tiphani (what is it with strippers? spelling your name in a stupid way doesn't change the fact that you're taking your clothes off for money you moron) Jennipher (this is so wrong I want to strangle her. a 'ph'? are you serious?) *Says Pixy Ninja Monkey: I have a great, sweet, kind, caring, intelligent, absolutely-non-whore friend named Kati Voluntine. Even she will admit that the lack of an "E" is silly, but that's what her mom named her, so she's accepted that she has to live with it. I was wondering if that mention of the name "Kati" on the page could have a little disclaimer that says something like "except for Kati Voluntine". What do you think? I will go you one better and remove it completely; I only used 'Kati' in the first place because I was too lazy to think of another name that ended in a 'y,' which is real the root of the whore problem. Removing the 'e' from the end of an 'ie' name is silly, but it doesn't necessarily make you a whore. Change a 'y' for an 'i' though and you might as well start wearing plastic shoes and pleather. |
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