I fully intended to research the reasons for my feelings during my strange meeting with Paul. I was going to go to the library and online to see if I could find anything about Paul and I.
However, I found myself procrastinating. There were a couple reasons for this. For one thing, I started college in summer school. I had two classes and they took up a lot of my time. Still, I could have made time. The main reason I put it off was because I was scared out of my mind. What if I really found something that showed without a doubt that I had known the young Paul McCartney? How would I really feel about that?
I had to face it: I was a coward. Sandy kept pressuring me to get on with it. I told her that if she really wanted to know, she could do the research. She wouldn't do that because she said that it was something I had to do myself. She was right, but I just couldn't make myself do it.
Finally, summer school ended and I had no more excuses. Sandy finally broke me down and I promised to go to the library and stay for at least an hour.
The fateful Saturday came, and I got my courage up to go. As I was leaving my house I ran into my mom.
"Hey honey, where are you going? To see Sandy?" she asked.
"No. I'm going to the library," I replied not meeting her eyes.
"But school is finished. Why don't you come with your father and me? Were going to San Antonio for the day. We could go shopping!" she coaxed.
That was a very tempting offer, not only because I liked to shop with my mom, but because then I wouldn't have to do what I had promised Sandy I would do. But I had promised, and it was time to get over my fears.
"I'm sorry mom, that sounds like fun, but I really need to go to the library," I told her. I was anxious to leave before I lost my resolve.
My mom accepted this, and I told my parents I loved them and kissed them goodbye before they left.
Then I set off for the library. It was a big three-story building in downtown Austin. When I went to find books on the Beatles, I was presented with a whole shelf full of them. I almost didn't want to touch them, but I knew I had to.
I grabbed the ones pertaining to Paul first. I knew that if I were to find anything it would be at the beginning of his career, because it seemed that what I mostly "remembered" was Liverpool. With this in mind I looked at all the pictures of their early days, and read anything that pertaining to Beatle girlfriends at that time.
I looked through the books for almost an hour before I found it. Up until that point I thought I wasn't going to find anything. Thinking that both relieved and disappointed me.
Then I found it. I almost passed over it because two pages were stuck together, but I noticed and pulled them apart. There it was, a picture of me sitting on Paul's lap. There was a caption that said "Paul and Anne O'Sullivan". I was going to read more when my cell phone started to vibrate, and I had to step out of the library to answer it.
"Hello" I said impatiently.
"Anne. I have some bad news." It was Sandy and she sounded really distraught.
"What's wrong?" I asked; I just knew something horrible had happened.
"I don't want to tell you now. Why don't you come over to my house right now," she said. She was crying.
"I'll be right over" I said. I temporarily forgot the amazing picture I had just seen. Something was very wrong.
As I drove to her house I was sick with worry. I knew Sandy's grandma had been sick; maybe she had died. But why wouldn't she have told me that over the phone?
I was contemplating this when I reached Sandy's house. As soon as my car stopped, Sandy and her parents ran outside. It was then that I knew that Sandy's grandma hadn't died; it was something having to do with me.
They brought me inside and sat me down on the couch.
"Anne, I don't know how to tell you this, honey," Sandy's mom Caroline said.
"Just tell me, please!" I already knew what she was going to say.
"You're parents were in a car wreck today. They were both killed instantly. I'm so sorry, sweetie," she said as she came over and hugged me.
I just stood there, too stunned to even react at first. Sandy's mom was still hugging me, and I could hear her talking, but I couldn't understand the words she was saying through the fog of shock.
At last it all registered, and I pushed her away and stepped back.
"Are you telling me that both my parents are dead?" I cried, my voice trembling. Sandy rushed forward to hold me.
"Oh, Anne. I'm so sorry," she sobbed. I just sat there and let her hug me.
I was too shocked to even cry until a couple of hours. Even as I wept, though, it still didn't seem real. I had just seen them. How could they really be dead? Reality sank in slowly, but inexorably. I was an only child, so there was no brother or sister to share my grief. The closest person I had to a sibling was Sandy; my parents had loved her as if she had been their own daughter. Because this was true, Sandy was grieving, too.
I didn't really have any other family. My grandparents were all dead, and my parents had been only children also. I only had a distant great aunt, so it was up to me to make the funeral arrangements. It was really difficult, but Sandy and her parents helped me through it.
The funeral was really hard, with all of these people coming up to me and telling me how much they had loved my parents. We even had a slide show with pictures of them. I was in most of the pictures with them, and just watching it made me cry.
Sandy's parents offered to let me live with them; in fact they wouldn't take no for an answer. I decided that would be best, because they were like family to me. So I sold our house and put everything that I wanted in storage.
I didn't really have to worry about money. My parent's life insurance policy was worth three million dollars. I invested most of it, but kept some for basic expenses. I did not go crazy buying a new car or anything. I knew that I needed to save the money.
School started again, but I wasn't interested in it. There was only one thing that interested me, and that was Paul. Since my parents were dead, I didn't feel scared about finding out all I could about Paul and me.
I dropped all of my classes, much to Sandy's parent's disapproval, and began to try to find answers to all of my questions.
