Hi - I am a 32 year old Transsexual (Gee - that sounds like something from Transvesites Anonymous). This would probably come as a shock to those who know me because they have absolutely no idea that to I like to dress as a woman.

It's pretty much the usual story - boy grows up with not quite normal feelings. My earliest recollection of dressing was when I was about 7 years old and I tried one of my mothers skirts on. She never knew and later in life I used to come home from school when I was about 10 and wear my mothers clothes before she got home from work. The compulsion to dress has never gone away and below is the rest of the story for those who want to know.

I was born in 1970 to two wonderful and loving parents who have encouraged me In everything I have ever done and who gave me a safe and secure upbringing. Some 32 years later I have a very successful career, a gorgeous wife who adores me and whom I love with all of my heart. This leaves only one small problem -I really feel inside that something is wrong and that I should have be able to dress as a member of the opposite sex. Am I transsexual or am I a transvestite?

I suspect that I am transsexual but can't bring myself to admit it. The other problem is my physical stature ( see my vitals page) which will never allow me to make a convincing woman. I think I can look pretty good when I try but I suspect that I would be immediately 'read' in real life.

After much soul searching I have decided that I have to become more passable and try to develop my feminine appearance before I make a final decision about whether I should transition and start living as a woman.

Previously I have persuaded my wife that I had this fantasy that dated back many years to be smooth all over, and not have any body hair at all. Initially her reaction was very negative but after some discussion she agreed that I could try my ‘fantasy’. Well, to say her initial reaction was negative would be a lie because at first she dealt with it really well however a week later and she really hated it and coerced me into growing it back. That was a really bad decision as I spent a year being really miserable about my appearance. In the meantime I bought a digital camera and started to work on my look. You can see my early disasters at being a woman in my galleries page.

Here we are in November 2003 and I find my self struggling more than ever with who I am and drawing closer to a final decision every day. I have to say that I am pretty close to calling it a day and telling my wife the truth. That will certainly end in divorce and everything we have worked so hard for falling apart. The worst bit is that I love her with all of my heart and cannot bring myself to hurt her but increasingly I find myself miserable, moody and uncommunicative anyway. I will update this page as time goes on and start a blog column in the next few months for those of you that might be interested.