How to Win at Golf
Here are a few tips on improving your golf game or for the beginers, how to get started in the game of golf.
- Training
- Mental prep
- Watch PGA on TV religiously
- Get that Playstation game "Hot Shots Golf"
- Rent "personal victory" subliminal tapes
- Equipment
- Avoid baseball or football food
- No hotdogs
- No pretzels
- No peanuts and Crackerjacks
- Drink diet Cooke only, no Pepsi
- Pre-game
- Dress
- Put on shorts, even if it's freezing
- Buy a new hat if you lost last time
- Location and Sceduling
- Select a course where your spouce won't find you
- To save on fees, play where your buddy works
- Opponent
- Look for:out-of-shape, inexperienced players
- Shun: suntan, stethescope, strident walk, Florida accent
- Buy opponent as many pre-game sodas as possible
- On the Course
- Tee first, then develop severe hayfever
- Drive cart over opponent's ball to degrade aerodynamics
- Say "fore" just before ball makes contact with opponent
- Always replace divots when putting
- Water cooler holes are a good time to correct any errors in ball placement
- Never re cord strokes taken when opponent is visiting the "facilities"
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