MY STORY
I'm a single 20 something female living & surviving with fibromyalgia syndrome. I was diagnosed with it in July 1997. Since the symptoms and diagnosis, my body and my life have never been the same and has changed quite a bit with some negative abrupt adjustments and a rocky roller coaster ride for the next 3 years......however, my survival skills are a little better than 3 years ago, and I feel this syndrome has in some ways made me a stronger person......I don't know how it has, but I feel it.
I was a full-time front desk receptionist at a big corporate office when all my symptoms began and I worked almost 10 hours a day & trying to further my education by attending junior college majoring in Cinema.
Basically it began pretty gradual after I was first hired in may of 96. I'd say around the fall of the year I began having extreme chronic fatigue without having done anything and having mornings where I literally could not get out my bed because fatigue was overwhelming. I started having several abscences throughout the months thinking I always had the flu since the symptoms were always feeling fatigued, aching all over and feeling like a truck ran me down.
However it was in April and May of 1997 that the pain I would have in my low back and upper body areas increased and would not let up. Advil & other asprins were no longer doing anything to relieve the pain...and the contined strain of sitting for so long a length of time at work daily just manifested the pain in my muscles in the back, shoulder, neck and legs. I also noticed basic normal things I would do at work became hard for me to remember and I frequently would have to ask keep writing extensions down that were on the phone console I answered that I had memorized for months...now I never had a memory of.
In June I dropped bottom. I had excrutiating pain in my lower back to the point where I was in tears the pain was so horrible. Nothing I took or did helped or made any difference. I was rushed to emergency and was given demerol to at least decrease the awful pain I was in. X-rays were taken several different times, I would see my regular m.d. and she was just as confused as I was as to why nothing showed up abnormal in any tests she gave me yet it was apparent my symptoms and pain were VERY real.
Once I was diagnosed in July 97, I researched information on Fibromyalgia Syndrome as often as I could and once I realized what it was and what limited treatment was available and that there was no cure, I felt completely hopeless in terms of what my future would be and didn't know what to do, and was scared to death. I went through several physicans who verbally balled me out telling me "it was in my head" and that I was just suffering from major depression and to take some advil and eat better. There wasn't an ounce of compassion or a desire to even listen or help me when I saw these doctors. That in itself is devastating when you first find out you have this illness because your already scared, depressed and confused as to how your gonna live sanely with an incredibly draining illness that takes so much of you.
During all of this I lost my apartment that I desperately tried to hang on to, resigned from my job after they refused to change anything in my working environment and hours, my state disability benefits were exhausted after being on it a year, my credit was damaged because I had no funds to keep payments up, I had no medical insurance to pay for any type of treatment, and I was extremely depressed and had bouts with suicidal feelings for several months. I then reluctantly had to move in a verbally abusive relative's household for about 2 1/2 years which kept the fibro as worse as it was in the beginning and thought I'd never have any hope of getting out of that environment and was close to givin up on myself. Currently though, I'm still ALIVE LOL, and not feeling suicidal anymore or in that state of mind anymore.
Since my last update on this page I've been able to move and reside in my own place with my 5 year old orange tabby named OLiver. I'm still fighting for regular physical therapy/treatment through an on going workmens comp case and just taking one day at a time. SOME days are tolerable, others are not, but i'm a surVIVOR which is most important. I'm still always reading up on any and all updates on fibromyalgia, and trying different alternative medicines to see if any of them will actually help me live with this better.
To everyone who are survivors of Fibromyaliga Syndrome, good luck and keep your heads up and live life to the fullest. {{{{{{{{Gentle HUGs to U}}}}}}}}}
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