STATUS: Complete
RATING: G
CATEGORY: Daniel&Janet, Cassie POV, Angst
SPOILERS: Unbelievably minor for 'Singularity'
SEQUEL/SEASON: 4th part of the Prophet series
SUMMARY: Cassie's reaction to some unexpected news...
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the
property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This
piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes
and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously
unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the
author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental
and not intended by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Wow...in 4 fics this one is the first
in which there's more that 1 line of dialogue.
Monologue, anyway. Sorry it took me so long to write,
but the endless brick wall known as the common or
garden 'Writer's Block', hit full force. ;)
Thanks to Kat, beta-extrodinaire, who put up with the
tenses ;)
Hugs to Lucy, who put up with *me*, and my minor fits
of hysteria. Thanks, sweetie ;)
Dedication: It's gotta be for Bryn: who waited, and
nagged, and bribed, and nagged, and inspired, and
nagged, and got a whole 'nother part of her fic
finished, (and nagged) until I finally managed to get
going again. Thanks, hon.
Oh, want DannyCookie *now*!
Feedback = More writing. Faster writing too. :)
The moonlight filters softly through the window as I
slip silently into the room, bathing my surroundings
in a haunting, silvery glow. Noiselessly I close the
door behind me, bringing it smoothly to rest in its
frame, and prowl over to my goal, carefully avoiding
the surveillance equipment resting on the table
nearby. Stealthily I reach down, taking the warm
covering gently between my fingers, and twitch it back
slightly, peering through the darkness to observe the
prize therein, for which I have crept covertly down an
endless corridor wreathed in shadows, like a thief in
the night. I gaze downwards...
...And two crystal blue eyes gaze back. I freeze,
holding my breath, and we stare at each other,
perfectly still, for an eternity. But I can't
suppress the smile that quirks the corners of my lips,
and I grin. She smiles back at me, tiny mouth forming
a delighted O as her eyes crease. I laugh lightly and
she coos back, reaching an impossibly small fist
towards me to clench at the air. Letting her grasp my
finger, I scrutinise her thoroughly as she tries to
pull the digit towards her, wondrous eyes the colour
of the summer sky alight with innocent curiosity. It
amazes me that it was only a scarce four months ago
that this incredible creature arrived in my world, and
heralded the beginning of a new chapter in our lives.
****
When she first told me, 10 months ago, I was shocked.
I'd known that she hadn't been feeling well recently:
she had to pull herself out of bed in the morning,
pale and silent, to head for Cheyenne Mountain, and on
her rare days off she would lie in her darkened
bedroom for hours, complaining of headaches. Daniel
fussed over her constantly, and often I'd walk intothe
room to hear them arguing - his face urgent, hers
determined - onlyfor them to stop when they became
aware of my presence. I didn't need prophetic insight
to know something was amiss. So, when they announced
that they had to 'tell me something', I thought I was
ready for anything.'Anything' had to be better than
the tense, suspenseful limbo they had left me in,
where my imagination could run wild and help me evoke
a thousand different scenarios as to what the problem
was: some terrible secret or life-threatening illness.
What I had not expected, however, was Janet's
announcement that she was.... well... expecting.
My mother was already 12 weeks pregnant. I was
shocked, utterly and completely. Even when they had
announced their engagement, I had been
nowhere near as surprised as this. I could only
stutter that I didn't understand, that she didn't
*look* pregnant, that I didn't even know they
wanted a baby. Janet tried to soothe me, explaining
that it had come as a complete surprise, unplanned.
She had only suspected when she began feeling unwell
so regularly, and had to have it confirmed by another
doctor. As I looked down at her stomach, speechless,
she told me that her 'bump' wouldn't show for while
yet...but I continued to stared mutely at
her. When I glanced up at Daniel, he grinned at me,
full of pre-fatherly pride and excitement and love.
Janet's expression matched his, her smile
bright, but there was a wariness behind her eyes as
she gazed at me. I nodded then, still numb, and left
the room.
****
A few hours later she came looking for me, obviously
assuming I needed some time to myself. Entering my
bedroom, she sat on the edge of the mattress and
reached over, placing a gentle hand on my back as I
lay on my side, facing away from her.
"Honey?"
I ignored her, curling up into a tighter ball.
"Cassie?"
Still silence.
"Cassie, talk to me. What's wrong?"
Wrong? What was wrong? Where did I start? My whole
life was changing before my eyes and I had no way to
stop it. The woman I'd come to love as my mother was
expecting a child of her own, creating a *family* of
her own. Where did that leave me? The adopted alien,
not even from this planet. What if, once this baby
arrived, there was no place for me? What if she
realised she wanted more children that were *hers*? Or
discovered that she loved it more than me? What if she
and Daniel wanted me gone?
I shrugged her off, trying to screw myself into the
tightest ball possible so perhaps I could just
disappear all together. I didn't understand what was
happening here. The future was a dark, unchartable
region that I had no way of mapping. Never before had
the uncertainty of what was to come been so tangible,
so overwhelming. Even at those times when my
'prophet's' eyes were blinded and I could not guess at
the next steps of fate... even at those times I had
not been as afraid as I was now. I was afraid of
losing everything, all that I had built here, gained
here, since I was rescued from the ashes of my home
planet. Janet, who had taken me in as her daughter;
Daniel, who had accepted me without question. What if
all that was suddenly pulled out from under me, and I
was forced again to create a new life for myself in a
strange and unfamiliar place?
"Cassandra."
The voice was almost undetectably sharper now, but the
hand strengthened its grip and forcibly turned me
over, till her face was above me and she
was all I could see, comprising my whole universe in
that moment, as she had once, years ago. Two
unbelievably compassionate hazel eyes gazed down
at me, scrutinising me, looking straight through me
until I felt like she was reading my soul.
"I won't lie to you... won't say that this changes
nothing."
My heart dropped, as if a chasm had opened in my
stomach to swallow it.
"It's going to be a big adjustment for us all."
She tilted her head thoughtfully, and a hand tenderly
brushed a few stray tears from my cheeks.
"But that does *not* mean that I'll stop loving you.
That I'll *ever* stop loving you. You're still my
baby, still my little girl." She smiled
softly. "You're just gonna have to be a little bigger
from now on."
I stared at her blankly for a few moments, and she
watched back, her eyes never leaving mine. Her fingers
stilled on my face, damp from my tears. I
tried to draw breath, but it caught in my throat and
escaped as a choking sob, followed by another, and
another, then a flood of tears as she drew
me into her arms and rocked me gently like an infant,
murmuring soothing nonsense into my ear.
As I clung to her, shaking, I wondered why I ever
doubted her, even for a
second. I knew, deep down inside, that there was no
way she would ever
leave me, ever abandon me. Not for the world. Where my
head rested on her
chest, I could hear her heartbeat clearly, and for the
first time it truly struck me that inside of her,
there was another *life* growing: another fragile
heartbeat in concert with hers. As I sat cradled in
her embrace, listening, I heard Daniel slip through
the door, coming to stand behind her, his hands moving
instinctively to her shoulders. I raised my head a
little and saw him gazing down on me. His eyes were
worried, and I treated him to a watery smile. He
grinned back, reassured...
"You okay, sweetheart?"
...And I nodded. I was okay. Or, at least, a lot
better than I had been. It was a huge change that
would take some getting used to, but I knew I'd
manage. When I looked back up she was smiling at him,
and I almost laugh. Crisis averted, they were
practically delirious, looking for all the
universe like two lovestruck teenagers making
puppy-eyes at each other. I settled back in Janet's
arms, enjoying the feeling of being the only child,
the baby of the family, for a while. I knew that I
could only
savour it a while longer before, once again, my life
was turned upside down. But as I watched my mother and
father, as he bent down to kiss her lightly, it was
worth it.
****
The next few months were...an experience. I watched
Janet as she hit her highs and lows, Daniel always by
her side. I saw their excitement grow, as her
pregnancy became more noticeable, her stomach
expanding little by little.
He took it upon himself to convert our spare room into
a nursery, which resulted in several afternoons of
paint-splattered fun; Daniel, Jack,
Teal'c and I each determined to win the DIY war that
had broken out, in the most immature way possible. We
spent a whole day trying to assemble
the crib, fighting between ourselves. Daniel's cries
of "I'm the father, *I'll* do it!" only served to feed
our obstinacy, all of us consciously aware that Sam
and Janet would have been able to assemble it in 10
minutes between them.
They visited us, every so often, so Janet could click
her tongue and sigh, shaking her head, smiling
affectionately at Daniel grinning proudly in the
corner among the mess, and flee playfully from him
when he chased her with paste-covered hands.
When I wasn't helping 'the Guys' with their
conversion, I trailed along with my mother to do some
baby shopping. Daniel was gently but firmly told to
stay behind after the first few times of cooing over
*everything* and wanting to buy out entire baby
boutiques. Sam would usually come with us, to giggle
excitedly with Janet over the toys, strollers, clothes
- how *small* everything was - but sometimes I felt
how difficult it was for her, though she *never* let
it show, especially in front of Janet. I sensed it,
even so.
As six months passed and her due date loomed, there
was an atmosphere of barely controlled hysteria around
the house. Every time Janet mentioned a
small pain, or twinge, Daniel would panic, before
being pointedly reminded that she *was* a doctor and
knew what she was doing. Inevitably, however, one
night bore witness to the real symptoms, and Janet was
quickly taken to the nearby hospital. Daniel was on
leave, granted for the closeness of the baby's
arrival, but the rest of SG-1 was off-world. So, again
with nowhere else to go at short notice, I went with
them.
I sat outside, in the hospital waiting room, as they
were taken through; Janet occasionally crying out
quietly. For a long while I waited, alone,
listening for any indication that it was over, any
footsteps coming to tell me that I could see her. I
stared at the walls for an eternity, just
wondering. What would the baby be like, this mix of
Daniel and Janet? Boy or girl? Her eyes, or his? Her
colouring, with her auburn hair and pale skin, or
darker, like him? I let my imagination wander, trying
to picture it. After a few long hours, my questions
were finally answered, as a nurse poked her head
around the door and smiled at me. It was here.
I scurried along the corridor in her wake,
half-nervous, half-ecstatic. She led me quietly into
the room where Janet lay sleepily on the bed,
Daniel sitting by her side. He was gazing down at her,
and the little bundle she held in her arms,
wondrously. His eyes brimmed with adoration
as his fingers gently caressed the edge of the
blanket. I crept over to them, as she turned her head
to smile at me. Daniel looked up, grinning,
and beckoned me over.
"Come and see."
I made my way over to the bed beside him and he placed
a warm hand on my shoulder, as Janet shifted slightly
to bring the baby into view. I leaned down and gasped,
almost inaudibly, at the sight that met me.
From the depths of the blanket, two eyes stared up at
me; shining clear
blue like the surface of water, or the horizon of the
wormhole. An
incredibly tiny nose and perfectly formed mouth, a
slight smattering of dark hair across her head. Her
eyes blinked sleepily, roaming around the room, though
they could barely see at all, before drifting shut
into relaxed, contented expression. I reached out
slowly, brushing my fingers in a whisper across her
smooth, soft skin, and she stirred, nestling
closer to Janet.
At that, I glanced up at my mother, who smiled warmly
down at me, then looked up at Daniel. He smiled back
at her, his eyes glistening with
tears.
"She's beautiful."
And she was, incontestably. I sat there, between my
mother and father,
watching my new sister squirm in her soft cocoon. All
my fears for the
future melted with each breath she took: in the world
only a few minutes,
but welcomed into our hearts forever. Surrounded by my
family, new and
old, I smiled, happy and contented.
****
I gaze down, into the crib, as she tugs playfully on
my finger. Her eyes regard it thoughtfully, judging it
in terms of edibility. I smile, laughing softly again,
attracting her attention as she glances up at the
sound of my voice. I lean over and stick my tongue out
at her, rewarded by a delighted gurgle and a few
bubbles. Again, I hear gentle laughter, but this time
it comes from the doorway.
I pull back, surprised, to see Janet leaning against
the doorframe, wrapped in her dressing gown, smiling
lovingly at the two of us. She raises an eyebrow at me
- what am I doing out of bed at this time of
night? - before closing the door behind her. She moves
over to us, coming to stand behind me and looks down
into the crib, pulling faces at the baby, calling
"Katherine" quietly. She wriggles in her bed at
Janet's voice, reaching up to her. Janet strokes the
bridge of her nose for a few moments, till her eyes
drift shut, then she moves back and wraps her arms
around my waist, resting her chin on my shoulder; I've
outgrown her in this past year. I turn my head
slightly to smile at her, and she offers me one back.
I turn back to look at Katherine, asleep in a world of
baby-dreams, and wonder for a few moments what she'll
be like when she grows up: when she learns of other
worlds and other races, that her sister came from
another planet, and her father travels among the
stars. But all that's in the future, and my eyes start
to flutter closed, tiredness overcoming me, and Janet
steers me back towards my own bedroom.... the future
can wait till tomorrow.
