I�m not smiling at you; I�m trying not to laugh!

Roses are red violets are blue I�m skitzafranic and so am I!

I'm not a COMPLETE IDIOT some parts are missing

Don�t upset me I�m running out of places to hide the bodies.

Normal people worry me.

Insanity is just anger put to good use!

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once!

My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore.

Go away.... I have enough friends all ready

What happens if you get scared to death... Twice?

You�re as fake as that padded bra your wearing

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems�

Its only funny until someone gets hurt...then its hilarious

Dose the noise inside my head bother you?

When I'm feeling down, I like to eat a bucket of fried chicken in front of a Jenny Craig Outlet.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

We have to believe in free will. We have no choice.

The Middle Ages were a great time to be alive, because if you weren't wiped out by the Plague or impaled by some marauding barbarian, then yippee.

A good way to deal with a crisis is to relax, take a deep breath, and act like some kind of deranged chicken.

Sometimes, I play a little trick on people that makes them really mad. I call it "Whack with a garden shovel." Well, it's not really a trick. It's just a whack with a shovel.
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