Since change is widely accepted by the majority of the population, I know I will get controversy on this. I've been called naive and ignorant for having my opinion on anti-change. I'm really tired of being called stupid for thinking differently than everyone else. Most people say that things have gotten better over the years, but I couldn't disagree more. There is still racism and there is still slavery. Nothing bad has disappeared from our past. The only thing that has changed is that there are more bad things. (Read the "Forty Years Ago" thing at the bottom of my Nationalism page.) With every new generation, humanity gets eviler and eviler. So have fun lovin' that change.
This page is about personal change, not technological change. For my opinion on technological change, go here.
Things can go from good to better, good to bad, bad to good, and bad to worse. People seem to think that every change they make in themselves is for the best. However, most of these changes are not brought on by your choice, but by the judgements of others. When you're young and like to play with certain toys, and your friends think that those toys are for babies, then you stop liking that toy because you don't want to feel uncool. But the question is -- do you really stop liking it? Or do you just pretend to so that people won't know? Or did you even really like it in the first place? Did your parents or friends just brainwash you? I think a lot of people's interests are not really their own, but the interests of others, and they just pretend to like them to fit in. So when you think you are changing, "growing," you're really not. You're just adapting/conforming to the changes in style, society, culture, etc.
Growth to me is becoming wise and mature. You can have childish interests like playing with baby toys and still be a successful adult, running a company. Interests have nothing to do with growing up, so you could like swimming all your life, and still grow up. You can like anime all your life and still be grown. (I get insulted all the time for liking "cartoons.")
When I was in first grade, I was already different from everyone -- just by nature, and I didn't change in any way; I was just different from the start. I started out being wild, daring, attention-seeking, and uncaring of people's negative opinions of me; in third grade, I began to care ~ what people thought of me; as an attempt to stop getting in trouble and start making friends, I forced myself to be quiet, shy, reserved, and only speak when spoken to (it didn't help and only gave them something else to make fun of me for); third grade was also the year I started to like reading (brought ~ by boredom at daycare), which led to me writing books in fifth grade; in middle school, my hidden hyperness sometimes came out because of Sailor Moon; but by high school, I pretty much lost the ability to let my true self be free after all those years of acting; seventh grade brought depression and heightened hatred towards humanity; in eighth grade, my own wisdom got me out of depression; I stopped being jealous of people who had more than me and started being grateful for all that I did have; despite my wisdom, I got more insecure with each passing year; falling in love last year made me feel worse ~ myself than I ever have before, but twas a learning experience that I'm still going through. I don't know how this love period of my life will end. Will I be able to love anyone else again? Or will this experience harden my heart forever? Whatever happens, I will grow, learn, wisen, and yes, change.
Most of my changes were brought about because of things humans did to me to make me dislike them more, thus making me more of an outcast. However, the change was good because, although I had already been different from everyone, I became even more different, thus being able to observe people in an objective way. I watched what they did, and patterns among the people--how they were all basically the same. None of them were like me. When I was young, I told them of adult insight, but they didn't believe me. Now they're going about their ways as I predicted, again oblivious to how typical they're being. They acted as children when they were children, act as teens when they're teens, and will surely act as adults when they're adults. But I acted as an adult when I was a child, because I was mature and wise to the things they refused to admit. No matter what my age, I tell people things about their kind, and they refuse to believe what is so plainly there. They can't see because they are PART of it all. You have to be detached from the crowd to realize the reality of things. I had a mature adult mind when I was a child, but I still participated in children's activities such as playing with Barbies. I played with Barbies all the way up until middle school, and I probably would still be playing with them if I didn't have so much work to do. I am living proof that you can grow mentally while still enjoying the things you've always loved.
HOWEVER, I have not changed my true self. I still have the same interests, likes, dislikes, opinions, beliefs, values, and personality that I've always had. Tis the changing of these things in people that I don't like; when people change these things, they're not growing or learning, they're just conforming to their peers. Examples of this non-growing/non-learning change: cussing, doing drugs, changing clothing style, disliking the music (and other things) you used to like.
Things ~ me that haven't changed: I still like cats, old and soft rock, colorful stuff, rocks/gems, frogs, annoying people, nature, animals, getting revenge, running, swimming, butterflies, 60s music, clean humor, talking to myself, organizing thngs, thinking up stories, being alone, stars/planets, watching anime, Y&R, and old Nickolodean cartoons. (I didn't get introduced to anime until 6th grade, and I still like Sailor Moon, even though all my friends have "moved on.")
I still don't like people, sports, immaturity, teenagers, girls, false beautifiers, speeding, cussing, temporary dating, hypocrites, sexism, loudness, school, stupidity, nonobjectivity, technology, medicine/drugs, style, and conformity. I'm still stubbornly nonconformist--more than anyone I've ever met--and that's why I have remained true to myself . . . that that's why I'm the best in the cosmos.
Other people's true selves don't change either, but they put on an act or conform to make it seem like they've changed. Often times, they put on this act so much, it becomes who they are, and they may forget their true self. You can't like a song one year, then dislike it the next. You either liked it always or didn't like it anytime. Sometimes people blame their immaturity on age. They say, "Oh, that was in the past; forget about it," or, "I was a stupid freshman then; what do you expect? I didn't know anything." If you insulted someone in the past, you either were conforming to your peers then or you really meant what you said. If you were a conformer then, you're a conformer now, so you're no more smarter/wiser/more mature than you were then. If you really meant what you said in the past, then your present "kinder" self is just a polite act. And btw, most freshmen have the same maturity level as most seniors. You are still the same person, and if you admit that you were stupid for what you did back then, then that means you're being stupid by doing what you're doing now. I don't think anything of what I did in the past was stupid. I made mistakes, but it wasn't because I was dumb; it was just because I wanted attention. And people still do that now. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't change anything, because what happened was for the best. I'm grateful for what I learned.
I don't like when people change themselves to conform, because then I don't know who they really are, and they probably don't know either. I've had many friends who have changed to conform to new styles, and friendships have ended because of it. An example is my friend Athena who used to love anime in 6th-10th grade. Now she's in 12th grade, and she hates anime and all her old friends. She got new preppy friends, and calls her old ones losers. Another example is my friend Madelena who made me think that she liked all the same things I did. Then when she stopped being my friend, she changed herself to match her new friends. I realized that she had been just acting and conforming to me before, and now she was doing the same thing with her new friends. There are plenty more examples. The whole human race is practically an example of conformity.
My only advice is don't change to please others or fit in. Because you're just putting on an act, and if you keep up the act, you start to believe tis true. And then you don't even know yourself anymore. What's the point of even having opinions if the opinions aren't yours? Take pride in who you are. Don't conform. Just because you're a child doesn't mean you have to act like one, and just because you're an adult doesn't mean you have to act like one. I plan to stay the way I am forever. I will always love and hate the things I always have. And in my old age, I will splash in puddles just like I did when I was a little girl. I won't care what people think. What I do makes me happy, and happiness is the most important thing in life. Living a lie is a tiring act, and if you're not yourself, then you're not anybody; you might as well be dead.
