Once upon a time, there was a show called "Battlestar Galactica" which was a big hit but due to a stupid move on ABC's part, it was cancelled for not being popular enough.   As the letters poured in, ABC learned their lesson and as a result gave Galactica another season.  And America held its breath.

And you would think if they held their breath long enough, they would be so oxygen-deprived that this would seem entertaining.

Galactica 1980, all ten episodes of it, is the show nobody wants to claim exists.  Richard Hatch, who played "Apollo" in the original series, even ignored it in his two or so novels.  And despite being the freakish 'lives-in-a-attic' brother to the original series, none of the episodes have been released on video in their original episodic format.   So far, I've covered the edited version of "Conquest of the Earth," which is a mishmash of the three-part premiere and one of the two-parters that followed.

After reviewing "Conquest," I gave up hope ever finding the episodic versions of "1980" due to the reluctance of various Galactica fans.  While this series is sold at conventions and (I think) aired once last year during the Sci-Fi Channel's early morning run of the original "Battlestar," it is nowhere to be found.

Until now.

While picking through a video store in the next town over (much of Southeastern Michigan, out of Detroit's influence, is little towns separated by cornfields, forests, and roads interrupted by the much-frequented highways), I found a video box on the sale pile that, instead of boasting the blue spine background, had a red one.  After studying it, I had found a treasure: an actual release of a full "Galactica 80" episode from a somewhat real company that goes by the name of Goodtimes.   Despite this (Goodtimes is known for releasing shitty stuff with the tab still on the tape which means you can tape over the bad tape after you learn you wasted your money), I put down a princely $5 for it and prepared myself for the worst.

I also picked up a $2 Gobots tape with three episodes on it.  But that's another review.

Despite its namesake, the tape was in good condition and it seemed to be recorded in quality SP mode and complete, meaning that I had bought a tape that I found usually sells on Ebay for about $20.  Not bad.  Until I actually delved into the episode itself.

The episode begins with Dr. Zee, the Galactica's resident boy genius, recalling a dream to Captain Adama about his own mysterious origins.   As to confirm it, Adama starts to tell the story about how he lost Starbuck during a Cylon fight.  Now while this could be an excellent opportunity to draw the viewer into the episode with a lot of sentiment, the episode takes a turn for the odd when this happens.

Starbuck is 'lost' when his ship is injured in flight while Galactica is running from a Cylon force.  The sad thing is that how or why Starbuck must be abondoned is unclear:  Starbuck still can keep radio contact with his wingmate Colonel Tigh yet he says he has to 'touch down' somewhere or drift but can't make it back to Galactica because he's out of fuel.  Then Tigh starts blubbering (literally) about how great a 'warrior' Starbuck is to such an extent you wonder if Tigh didn't have a secret life never explored in the original series.  The man starts crying, for crying out loud!  And why couldn't Starbuck just drift back to the ship?  Huh?  Don't you just need one push while in space, not a constant thrust to travel?  Sigh.  No matter, because then Starbuck lands on a desert planet and starts his battle to survive.

Meanwhile, Tigh lands and argues with Adama about going back for Starbuck but Adama overacts (and I mean overacts...the chewing the scenery kind), saying how he can't bear to go back for Starbuck and how it tears him up inside.  Then, comes the moment in which I think truly killed the series:  Adama looks to the camera and utters the immortal line:  "I LOVE YOU, STARBUCK!!"

After five minutes of laughing--you have to see this scene to truly believe it--I put the tape back in and continued watching.

Starbuck finds life living on the planet hard, with its extremely hot days and extremely cold nights.  Loneliness makes him act strangely, even when he finds the remains of a Cylon ship and its three dead solders.  Finally so desperate for company, Starbuck (along with Zee's narration which overlaps Starbuck's own internal dialogue....why, is another story) takes the remains of the three and makes a new Cylon warrior with the IQ of a five year old.  Naming him Cy and blackmailing the creature into becoming friendly by withholding his power supply, Starbuck and Cy slowly grow a friendship.

Then the makers of 1982's "Enemy Mine" get a really cool idea.

Starbuck and Cy have a rocky relationship which is similar to a really big kid and a small fast-talking kid in Elementary school might have:  Cy questions Starbuck with logic, while Starbuck does the 'Hey, Buddy' bit and somehow makes things all better.  Finally, Starbuck finds that having a Cylon for companionship isn't enough, so Cy vows to go find a woman on one dark stormy night.  Starbuck freaks, but in the morning Cy comes back with a woman in long white flowing robes.  To cut a story short, the woman turns out to be not of this Planet, or possibly not even human:  it turns out that while the whole Galactica show had this undercurrent of 'Gods and Religion' where the Gods are either quite evil or ambievent.  The woman is such a creature, one that the episode never explains.   Yet it doesn't really distract from the story.  Anyway, her and Starbuck have a kid just as Starbuck finds he can build a sort of ship that will carry one person out of the planet and into an orbit that will find the Galactica eventually.  Just then, three Cylons land on the planet to retrieve their fallen.  Starbuck chooses to send his children into space in his place and thinks about his chances against the three Cylons when Cy comes out, blaster ready.  The woman then cries out to the Gods that Starbuck has proven himself good and disappears.  Starbuck manages to take out two Cylons but is fatally wounded.  After Starbuck finishes off the last Cylon, he finds Cy who expires in his arms.

Then the episode flashes back to Adama and Zee, where Adama tells Zee that Zee was the baby and Starbuck was his father.  Gasp!  Shock!!  And the final shot of the episode (and the series as a whole) ends with Starbuck, all alone on the desert planet, still wondering.

Needless to say, this episode does have a bad stink to it:  whomever thought it was cool to overdramatize everyone's attitude to Starbuck, an already established character, to the point of sugar-coating is not only funny but ruins the whole dramatic impact.  And while the story is basically a morality play on the part of Starbuck and his eventual fate, the first part is just awful and cannot be excused.  Otherwise, the episode is a sort of tribute to the whole idea of Galactica and what it should have been as opposed to what it was.  While the ending is quite downbeat, it does end the series the best it can without resorting to a lot of stock footage.

RATING:  Not bad, but there is some bad to it that makes it nearly comical.  If you find it, it's worth having.  Two and a Half Stars out of Four, nearly three.