There are embarrassments all over the genre of Science Fiction.
For every Star Trek, there is a "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier." For every Star Wars, there is "A Star Wars Holiday Special." For every Doctor Who, there is the McCoy Era. And for Battlestar Galactica, the embarrassment is something called "Galactica 1980."
The embarrassment began back at the very end of "Battlestar Galactica." Due to high production costs and lower-than-expected ratings, it was shitcanned. But, despite the cost, it gathered quite a following. So much, in fact, that viewers flooded ABC with letters demanding closure. Will Galactica find the mystical "Earth?" What about the Cylons? And who the hell names a kid "Boxy?"
Thus, Glen Larson (producer of Galactica) was given permission to close the series with "Galactica Discovers Earth," a TV movie that was going to put the nail in Galactica's coffin once and for all. Thus everyone would be happy. If only life was that easy.....
One TV movie became a few episodes. The idea of finding Earth was a good one, Larson must have thought. But the problems were mounting...not all of the actors from "Battlestar" were available for the new 'season.' Most had moved on, or attempted to. The only proof to that statement is Dirk Benedict, who played Starbuck before going onto NBC's "The A-Team" and gaining fame there. The rest, excluding loser Ed Begley, Jr. haven't been seen since. Plus ABC wasn't about to sink the amount of money in the same idea that sank in the exact same time period. This is where "Galactica '80" could have been saved: if it was only a three/four-hour movie, "Battlestar Galactica" would have had it's dignity. Fans could speak about how Galactica ended on a good note.
But no. Instead, the series was given it's go ahead and without the cost of neat models and F/X, "Galactica '80" became a shell of it's former self. Having no-name actors (excluding Lorne Greene) act in place of their better known counterparts worked as about as well as it did for Coy and Vance Duke and after ten episodes, "Galactica '80" was quickly forgotten.
Except.......remember what I said about Universal Studios and their ability to gain from their losses by turning bad shows into 'great' movies by splicing their episodes together for a movie? Well, ladies and gentlemen, you have grasped at the ability of Universal Studios once again. But this time, instead of editing two episodes together in a movie (as well as bits of some others), this movie showcases FIVE INDIVIDUAL EPISODES of "Galactica '80" into one feature-length movie. And not all of the episodes.....thanks to some dicing and splicing (but not enough to get rid of really forced humor) this becomes the movie that serves as the endpoint for the whole Galactica series. And, despite what I've said, it's not really that bad.
Not necessarily good, either.
The movie starts with the credits, like most others do. There are a few familiar names of some Universal players and familiar faces, like Dark-Shadows alumni Lara "Angelique" Parker and Roger "Peter Bradford Plus Various Other Parts" Davis. Also on board in clown makeup is William Daniels, who secretly did KITT's voice for "Knight Rider." Of course, what they don't give credit to is Jonathan Harris's voice as Lucifer. Yes, Dr. Smith makes his 'appearance' in this cheesy film despite it's lack of Irwin Allen. Also reprising his role as "Baltar" is John Colicos, proving that Lorne Greene isn't the only actor from the original "Galactica" to appear in this series...er...film. Baltar was the traitor to the human race in the original, and in this he just appears for a few times to kick the plot along.
So Galactica finally reaches Earth. Of course, they have also lead the Cylons into the Solar System/Milky Way. Disappointed to find that Earth is still without a central government and quite a bit behind the Battlestar technology wise, Commander Adama (Greene) decides to send down some of his officers to try to get the Earth to make peace with itself. So, that leaves Apollo and Starbuck...er, I mean, two of their clones to take North America. While Adama and the super-intelligent mutant child Dr. Zee plan, the two heroes whose names are completely unimportant go down to Earth to find a scientist that would be able to help them influence the science community to the importance of saving Humanity in general blah blah blah. On the way, they impress some bikers with their hoverbikes (one of the few F/X perks in this series). Giving credit where credit is due, this effect is first shot in a way that actually shows the bikes being picked up by some kind of hydraulic jack which is COOL then putting them in a matte shot that a dog could tell was fake. UGH. Why couldn't they just do a shot of the bikers looking up, the Galactians looking down, and that be it? NOOO!! Had to do a poor matte shot, and it blows the 'coolness' factor all to hell.
Anyway, the two clones of Apollo and Starbuck get the scientist's attention by helping him solve part of an equation that will help Earth's technology advance rapidly. This scientist, ironically, is played by Robert Reed in one of his last roles. Of course, I don't know if this is a rise up or a rise down. Let's just say it ain't "Bloodlust," and leave it at that. Anyway, this plot is abandoned during a police chase. Of course, in the series, this was probably the end of the first part of Galactica '80s "Galactica Discovers Earth Part One." The rest of that peculiar episode deals with the Apollo and Starbuck clones going back in time thanks to Dr. Zee or whatever. It doesn't matter. I haven't seen the episode personally.
Shifting gears, the 'movie' moves into the two part "The Day Cylons Fell to Earth" episode where a Cylon ship accidentally finds Galactica, Earth, and crashed on the latter. There are still survivors of the Cylon fleet, including a Centurion (a robot that is often described as a Cylon) and a human being (Roger Davis). Okay, in the first series there were no humans in the Cylon forces. In fact, they hated humans with a passion. So why do they have some with them now? I'm not sure. Perhaps I should watch the whole first season to get a better grip. But, needless to say, this Centurion Cylon now obeys the Cylon Human's orders. But before the two clones can get to the Cylon ship to destroy it's remains (the clones want their and any Cylon presence hidden from the populace to not cause panic) and find that there are two survivors.
The survivors, however, are picked up by Lara Parker and William Daniels who merely think that the Cylons are in dress for Halloween!! Despite the fact they are picked up in the middle of NOWHERE, the couple drives them to the local radio station for a party. Why? Who cares why? It does advance the slim plot that the Cylons can transmit Earth's coordinates to the Cylon fleet so they can come and destroy Earth. How can a mere radio dish beam out coordinates to a Cylon Fleet elsewhere? Wouldn't that take some time, like maybe a few months? If at all? I mean, can radio waves work without an atmosphere? Sigh. Anyway, that's the plan, and without going into Wolfman Jack's cameo in this mess, the two clones hunt the Cylons down and kill them both in a dramatic scene where both Cylons fall to their deaths off a high building. ACTION? SUSPENSE? Not really, but having the two clones dressed up like James Bond with weird looking blasters does look cool. Like a James Bond of the NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE!! Oh, well.
Anyway, in a pseudo-ending in which the Centurion is revealed to still be alive in a garbage truck is pointless and designed to add suspense to a future episode that was never made. No biggie. So, after getting past some cops and the Air Force, the two clones are recalled back to Galactica for another method of getting Earth technologically advanced to fight the Cylons. Which is hopeful, I guess. They did reach our planet. THE END.
Now, what did I like about this movie? The hoverbikes (sans matte screen) and the idea of "Galactica '80" are both good. Not perfect, but signs that with a little care this could have been a cheap rebirth of a semi-famous TV show. But instead, thanks to scripts that reportedly involve a Little League Team getting superpowers and such, the series died, it's only claims to fame being bring Galactica to Earth and having it's final episode being the final fate of Starbuck. All and all, the humor is forced BADLY even for this era of TV and this shows that some of Galactica's appeal HAD to be mostly special effects. Of course, if you took Star Wars without it's effects, the effect would be the same.
And we would be rid of Jar-Jar, too!!
RATING: Good for a chuckle, but I'd rather watch the series to get a better grip of what was going on here. Affable time-waster. Two stars out of Four and that's being generous.