Jordan knocked on her door quietly, she didn't want to wake anyone. "Maddie, are you awake?" she asked softly through the door.
Madison opened the door rubbing her eyes. "Damn Jordie, after last night I thought you would still be sleeping," she said yawning. Jordan looked at her and then to the ground. Madison sighed. "Okay Jordie spill it, I know that look," she said, patting the bed as she sat down.
Jordan flopped down on the bed. "Alright but promise not to flip out okay?" she asked almost begging.
Madison nodded, "Promise."
Jordan took a deep breath. "Maddie I think my feelings for Nick are more than sexual," she said as she toyed with her long dark hair.
Madison smiled at her. "Come on Jordie you know better. He's a guy, one of many, and once we leave here it's over and done with. Don't think about it anymore. Just hang out with the guys and have a good time," she said leaning back on the pillow.
Jordan sighed. "Maddie you don't feel anything for Kevin?" she questioned.
Madison shook her head. "No he's a great fuck, but then again so are Nick, AJ and Brian, and Howie isn't to bad either," she added laughing. Had Jordan been looking up at her, she would have noticed the pain in Madison's eyes as she said those words.
Jordan smiled. Madison always had a way of making her feel so much better. "You're right, how many girls can say they fucked the Backstreet Boys? Hey, I've got an idea, let's go swimming," Jordan added smiling and laughing. Madison joined in the laughter. "That's the spirit, go change and I'll meet you down there." Jordan turned to leave but stopped at the door and smiled at Madison, "hey thanks, I really needed you to remind me what I was doing here," she said smiling.
Madison nodded. "Anytime girlie, now get your ass dressed." Jordan closed the door and headed to her own room again.
When Madison was sure she had gone, she sat down on the bed and slowly the tears began to fall. She wiped them away quickly and looked at herself in the mirror. "Damn it Madison, pull it together and get over it." Changing into her bikini, she pulled her auburn hair into a scrunchie and smiled. "I think I need a little pick me up and I know just where to get it," she said to herself smiling as she mouthed the word Bone before heading downstairs to find Jordan.
The girls decided to forgo the pool and make use of the beautiful lake on the property. After two hours of laying out in the sun and splashing in the water, both the girls were feeling a bit better. They were sitting out on their blankets chatting about work when they heard the guys laughing and talking heading their way. Jordan cursed under her breath. Nick looked so damn good in his Hilfigger jean shorts and tank top. Madison pinched her, shooting her a 'close your mouth and stop drooling' look. "Play it cool girl," she whispered to her.
Jordan nodded and put on her best smile. AJ was the first to join them. "Ladies you look beautiful," he said, eyeing Madison's breasts.
Jordan smiled and sat up. "Thanks AJ," she said, starting to gather her things. Madison looked at her in disbelief. "I am going to head into the house. I feel so sticky," Jordan said smiling.
AJ smiled at her winking. "Couldn't be worse than last night."
Jordan blushed and Madison laughed. "Go on Jordie, I'll be in later," she said glancing at Kevin, who didn't look at all happy at the way her and AJ were snuggling. Jordan nodded and turned running right into Nick. He instantly put his arms around her. "You want me to go with you?" he asked, smiling at her as if he already knew her answer.
Jordan shook her head. "No thanks Nick. Actually I'm looking for Brian. Have you seen him?" she asked sweetly.
Nick didn't miss a beat. "He's in his room, I'll see you later Jordan," he said touching her shoulder lightly. Jordan turned and began walking away from them. As soon as she rounded the corner of the house, she broke into a run, her tears were already falling. Throwing open the back door, she made her way to the staircase and sat down on the bottom step sobbing.
Madison and AJ continued their game of cat and mouse out by the lake, cuddling and bantering with each other. Madison didn't exclude Kevin but it was clear AJ was her intended target and Kevin sensed the change of heart in her. Nick had left shortly after Jordan and was alone now in the gazebo. Kevin and Howie had finally moved into the water and were playing around having a good time. Seeing Kevin totally blow her off only made Madison more determined to spite him. AJ smiled at her. "Madison come on, there's an awesome little nature path I wanna show you," he said, taking her hand in his helping her to stand.
She smiled. "Lead the way Bone." AJ's arm slipped around her waist casually as they walked away, leaving Kevin to stare after them.
Jordan took in a deep breath and sighed. Finally she had managed to pull herself together and standing, she headed for the kitchen. Opening the fridge, she grabbed a Dr Pepper and hopped up on the counter, stealing a few chocolate chip cookies from the cookie jar. "When depressed eat," she said aloud giggling.
"What's so funny?" Brian asked, walking into the kitchen. Jordan turned and smiled at him. "Nothing, just thinking aloud, I guess," she answered.
He laughed. "I thought Nick was the only one who had conversations with himself," he said, popping the top on his coke. Jordan laughed and tried not to let the mixed emotions show on her face. Brain walked over towards her and smiled up at her. "I was going to watch a movie in the screening room upstairs. You wanna join me?" he asked. "If you have nothing better to do, that is," he added quickly.
Jordan smiled at him hoping down off the counter. Taking his hand, she replied, "I can't think of anything I'd like to do more." They headed upstairs chatting about what movie to watch. As she followed Brian, a thought crossed her mind. "When depressed, fuck his best friend for revenge," she giggled aloud again but kept her reason why a secret this time.
AJ and Madison came to a clearing in the path and stopped there looking out at the forest of trees surrounding them. "Wanna sit down for a while?" AJ asked.
Madison nodded. "Sure. Ya know, I think this is the first time I've ever been hiking, being from New York and all," she added smiling.
AJ took the blanket from her and laughed. "Madison, this hardly qualifies as hiking. It's a simple walk through some trees," he said, taking her hand as they sat down. She laughed softly. Being with AJ was taking her mind off of Kevin and he wasn't to damn bad a substitution, she told herself.
"What ya thinkin' bout'?" AJ asked, running his fingertips over her cheek.
Madison flushed instantly. "Nothing Bone, nothing at all," she replied, looking at him intently. The next thing she knew, her and AJ were locked in a heated kiss. His hands running over her body, making her moan softly against his tongue. She lost herself in the way it felt to be there with him, being touched by someone. His touch seemed to remove all of the pain she'd felt this morning. Her hands soon found there way to the zipper of his jean shorts. Boldly, she ran her fingertips over the zipper toying with him. The kiss broke, leaving Madison gasping for air. She looked up into his eyes and saw the lust there and decided in an instant, she would fulfill his desire. "AJ, fuck me," she panted.
AJ looked down at her and once again began kissing her. This time gently and softly. Madison's mind was running in overdrive. Why was he kissing her like this? Why wasn't he ripping her clothes off and taking her? She pressed her body against him hoping to signal his animalistic side, the side she had seen last night. She wanted a quick easy fuck. Something to take away her thoughts if only for a moment. Frustrated, she rolled them over so that she was now on top of him and began inching up his shirt. AJ stared at her intently. He knew exactly what she needed and why she thought she wanted this. Slowly he brought his hand to her face and caressed her cheek. "Madison we can't do this," he said in a whisper.
She shook her head. "AJ why not? You want it and I know I do," she began, her flirty side rearing again.
AJ silenced her with his finger to her lips. "Listen to me, please. I know this isn't what you want and I know I'm not who you want." Madison pushed off of him and started to stand to walk away. Quickly AJ grabbed her wrist. "Wait! This isn't who you are. It's not what your about," he said matter of factly.
She stared at him, shooting daggers with her eyes. "How the fuck would you know who I am or what I am about? And furthermore, like you care, all you cared about last night was your dick down my throat!" she screamed.
AJ took her hands in his. "You're right about last night, and I should have stopped everything before it happened. Madison you're a beautiful woman. Jordan too and you both deserve better than what you've gotten from all of us. Nick and Kevin used you like whores, and then let us do the same. Don't you see? Your better than this?" he asked almost pleading. Madison fought the tears that threatened to fall. "Fuck you AJ! You're a hypocritical basted! You fuck my brains out and then tell me I was used as a whore. I don't need this shit and I don't need you! And you've got it all wrong, Nick and Kevin didn't use us, Jordie and I used them!" she yelled, laughing sarcastically.
AJ shook his head as she walked away. "No Madison, that's where you're wrong," he called after her. Emotionally exhausted he sat back down and ran a hand through his hair sighing.
Jordan sat cuddled with Brian in the dark screening room. They had decided to watch Scream 3 and being as Jordan was a huge scaredy cat, she found herself in his lap 5 minutes into the movie. The darkness of the room and the feeling of his arms wrapped around her was intoxicating. She continued to lose herself in him trying hard to keep her thoughts from Nick and the fact that he too loved scary movies. The scream on the screen snapped her back into reality and as the young girl was killed on the screen, Jordan jumped. Brian laughed softly. "It's okay sweetheart," he said pulling her tighter. Jordan turned to answer him and before she knew what she was doing, she leaned in closer and began kissing him. Brian began kissing her back, softly and gently. His hands found their way to her back and his fingers glided over her skin softly. Jordan found the hem of his shirt and ran her hand underneath, running her fingers over his chest. Everything in her body wanted to be with him, to erase the memory of Nick and to prove to herself that it was just sex, nothing more. Softly Brian broke the kiss. Jordan could just see the blue of his eyes as the TV screen illuminated them. She stared at him intently. "Brian I want you," she whispered against his ear, lightly sucking on his neck. Brian wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't deny his arousal. Jordan was a beautiful woman and he knew firsthand what sex with her was like. But on the other hand, he felt guilty about last night and knew he couldn't do this. He also knew exactly why she was doing this, it was apparent every time she looked at Nick and last night he had sensed her disillusion at the fact that Nick had given her over so freely to his boys. Brian ran a hand through her hair. "Jordan this isn't right," he said slowly.
Jordan didn't want to hear this. She needed this, needed to prove to herself she could do it. "Brian, it's okay," she said, leaning in to kiss him again.
Brian pulled back slowly. "I'm not him Jordie," he said carefully.
Jordan fought her hurt. "That's okay. Ya know where there's a Frick, there should be a Frack," she replied, licking her lips and smiling at him.
Brian pulled her to him and made her look at him. "Jordan you're an amazing woman, and it kills me to think you feel you have to have sex with me to make me like you," he said sighing.
Jordan looked at him and then down to the floor. "That's not why I am doing this Brian. I wanted to be with you," she added, pulling herself back together. "I mean after last night, I guess you could say I wanted to B-roked again," she said giggling, feeling better that she had managed to keep herself together.
Brian ran his finger over her cheekbone. "Cute Jordie, but you and I both know it isn't true. Though I am flattered. I just can't do this. You don't deserve to be used like this," he said intently, "Madison either," he added.
Jordan didn't know what to do. She felt hurt, she knew that he was right, but she refused to show it. Instead she turned it all into anger. "I can't believe you! You are such a hypocrite Brian! Last night you were more than happy to use my body in any way that pleased you and now when I actually want it, actually want you, need you, you tell me I don't deserve to be used!" she yelled jumping off the couch and heading for the door.
Brian grabbed her, he could sense her desperation. "Jordan your right. I shouldn't have done what I did last night, I got caught up in being one of the boys. But tell me why you need to be with me, tell me why you want it so badly?" he questioned softly.
Jordan looked up at him, tears flowing down her face. "I need this and you because I need to forget," she stopped as her tears came faster.
Brian pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as she cried. "You needed to forget about him," he finished. "It's okay honey, I'm here. Shhh," he whispered, running his fingers through her hair.
"Brian he used me, all this time I thought I was using him," she sobbed. Brian picked her up and carried her down the hall to her room. Gently he laid her on the bed and turned to leave thinking she needed to be alone. "Brian," she called after him.
He turned back looking at her. She looked so much like a little girl in that moment. "Yes honey."
She took a breath. "Brian, please stay here with me. Just for now. I just need someone to hold me, to tell me it's all going to be okay," she asked.
He nodded closing the door. Joining her on the bed, he pulled her into his arms, her head resting against his chest. "Jordie I'm here and I will be but it has to be for the right reason. You deserve better than what I've shown you, what all of us have shown you and I think it's time I showed you who Brian Littrell really is," he said, placing a kiss on her forehead. Brian lightly stroked her back until at last she fell into a peaceful sleep, snuggled against him. Carefully he slipped out of the bed and made his way to the living room. He knew what he had to do. He had to talk to Nick and Kevin and let them know this all had to come to a crashing halt. He didn't think Jordan or Madison could take anymore.
Brain headed downstairs passing Madison who flew up them past him, almost knocking him over. He reached his hand out to her. "Hey what's wrong?" he asked concerned for her. She looked like she would explode at any second.
Madison took a deep breath. "Nothing Brian. Where's Jordie?' she asked wanting to get as far away from him as possible.
"She's sleeping. She had a rough day," he said sighing. Madison instantly thought he meant they had been together sexually. "You guys are all the same!" she yelled, not sure why she was taking this out on him. Brian was shocked at first and then caught onto her meaning. "Wait Madison, Jordan and I didn't," he began. She shook her head laughing. "Like it fucking matters Brian. Just forget it," she said turning around and walking away. Brian took a deep breath trying to get himself back together. He walked into the living room searching for the rest of the guys. Hearing laughter coming from the pool deck, he made his way outside and joined the guys at the table.
"Hey Brian you want a beer?" Howie asked.
Brian shook his head. "No thanks D." He didn't say much at first just listened as the guys talked about Madison and Jordan.
"I can't figure out what's up with Jordan. I mean she usually likes to be with me and today she totally blows me off," Nick said taking a drink of his beer.
Kevin nodded. "Yeah I know. Madison was acting really weird today too. She took off with AJ and didn't say word one to me and now both of them are no where in sight. Women," he said under his breath.
Nick sighed. "The thing is Kev, I care about Jordan. I just wish she would say something."
"I can't figure Madison out either, something's wrong but what?" Kev added
Brian was about to speak up but stopped suddenly.
"You wanna know what's wrong with Madison?" AJ began as he came out of the house walking slowly towards the guys, a beer in his hand, pure disgust in his eyes.
"Hey Bone," Kevin began.
AJ stopped him. "I asked if you wanted to know what's wrong with Madison?" he added in a scathing tone of voice. Kevin said nothing but motioned for him to continue. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe she's tired of being toyed with, sick of being used as your personal whore!" he spat out.
Kevin looked like he'd been punched. "I didn't force her into anything AJ. Nothing she didn't want anyway," he added laughing.
"You know you disgust me. Hell, all of us make me sick. We have treated them as common street whores," he said feeling guilty as hell. "Ya know, Madison came to me today. She wanted me to fuck her," AJ said flatly. Kevin looked at him shocked. "Does that surprise you Kevin? That she wanted what she has become used to getting from us? I couldn't do it, for whatever reason she needed you, not me. But hey, maybe I should have, maybe I should have used her the way we did last night instead of telling her what she didn't want to hear, that she deserved better than this shit!" he yelled, throwing his beer bottle, shattering it against the deck.
Kevin stood up suddenly. "Look AJ, I gave Madison what she wanted, nothing more. You don't think I feel bad that I wish it could be different. I care about her," he stated flatly.
AJ laughed. "Care about her? More like your pissed that your personal whore learned that she was better than this."
Brian stood up. "Look, I came out here because I wanted to talk to you and Nick both about the girls. AJ just said what I was going to first. Jordan came to me this afternoon, she needed me, or thought she did. She needed to forget about you," he said, pointing at Nick. "She needed to prove to herself it wasn't love, that it was purely sexual. I couldn't do it, I wouldn't."
Nick stopped him. "Brian listen to me please. You're my best friend, you know me. I didn't think I would feel anything for her, hell I just looked at it as a good fuck." "Your a bastard!" AJ said suddenly.
Nick turned to him. "Let me finish. Today she walked away from me and I knew she was going to you. I felt like shit. I couldn't figure out why then but I know now it was because I care about her," he said sitting down slowly.
Brian took a deep breath. "Nick I don't think any of us knows who we are anymore. Last night I became everything I hate about having fame. I slept with two girls I've never met and used them like whores. I don't know what the hell happened to all of us but this has to stop. We are destroying them," he said sadly.
Howie stared at them all. " I think we owe them both an apology. And I'm going to give them mine right now," he said, turning for the house.
"There's no need Howie. Though I thank you for being so sweet. Madison and I will be leaving in the morning," Jordan said, turning to walk back into the house, leaving them all speechless.
Nick looked at Kevin and both of them knew what they needed to do. There wasn't any more time, and neither one wanted it to end this way.
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