| Chapter 45 As the sun began to rise, Gwen looked up into her husband's eyes. He was slowly moving above her and returning her gaze. Nick's body began to jerk as it had many times that night and his slow,rythumic thrust had turned fast and desperate. Gwen's grip tightened on his back as her body turned to mush once again and she had her release as well. Nick's head was resting on her chest and he was breathing heavily, Gwen was running her fingers thru his hair. "Nicky?" she softly spoke. "Mmmhuh," he mumbled. "I want us to have a baby," Gwen whispered. He looked up at her and said, "We will, someday." "I want a baby now," she said. "Honey, you know that isn't possible. I want to give you that more than anything right now but you had the doctor give you that shot." "I couldn't go thru with it." "What?" "I couldn't, I saw how upset you were when I asked for it. After you left the room I told him not to give it to me." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Because, I didn't want to pressure you. Things have been so stressful. I wasn't sure what was going to happen here." Nick slipped out of her and rolled over facing the opposite wall. Gwen sighed and pulled the comforter over her body and turned over. After a long silence, she said, "I'm sorry." Nick laid there thinking about what she said and tears began to come to his eyes. He felt her move and saw her arms wrap around him from behind. "Are you mad?" "No," Nick whispered. "Look at me Nicky," she pleaded with no response, "Please." He turned around to face her, revealing the fresh tears that had been streaming down his face. They laid facing eachother, "How could I be mad?" "You turned away from me..." "Not because I am mad, I just didn't know what to say. Are you sure you want to try again?" "Of course, baby...I married you didn't I? I just don't want you to get upset if it doesn't happen." "I want to make you pregnant, but what if I fail? What if I can't do it? I just wish I had known so I could have tried harder." "Nick, the first time you didn't try to do it, it just happened. Last night was wonderful, because you weren't worried about it, you were just loving me. Our relationship has been under so much pressure lately I didn't want to add to it." Nick smiled lazilly and put his hand on her face, "Do you know how much you mean to me? You know I love you more than anything in the world don't you?" "Oh, of course I do," Gwen smiled, "and you know I love you?" Nick nodded, "And that is how we make a baby. Nicky, it isn't a physical act that does it. It is how we feel about eachother. You showed me last night many times...that is how I want us to concieve...not out of pressure but out of love." "I am scared that I will let you down." "No...you could never let me down. When the time is right it will happen for us. But until then, I want us to just enjoy the fact that we are married." Nick smiled, "I can't believe you are my wife...you don't know how long I have wanted to be able to say that, its like all my dreams have come true Mrs. Carter." "Me too, Mr. Carter." "Since the first time I saw you I have known that you were the only thing I want. If I don't have you nothing matters. And I am going to keep trying to get you pregnant, I want us to be able to show the world how much we love eachother." "Baby, don't try to get me pregnant, just keep on loving me...showing me. It doesn't matter what the world thinks. The baby will come when the time is right for us and if it doesn't happen it doesn't mean we don't love eachother." They both drifted off to sleep soon after from exhaustion, lost in the comfort of eachother's arms. Chapter 46 Story Index |