If I could, then I would
I’d pick you up and hold you high
If I could, I would
I’d give you wings and let you fly
High above the ocean
High up in the sky
High above the ocean
High up in the sky

But I’m no Merlin
I don’t know magic
And I’ve got nothing in these hands
And life ain’t perfect
But it’s still worth it
Still I’ve got nothing in these hands
That I’m reaching out to you

If I could, I would
I’d take your pain and cast it upon the ocean
Let it wash away

But I’m no Merlin
I don’t know magic
And I’ve got nothing in these hands
And life ain’t perfect
But it’s still worth it
Still I’ve got nothing in these hands
But I’m reaching out to you

Turn the light out, leave me standing here
Tears run down my face but I have no fear
And the salt on my mouth is getting bitter with time
I clench my fists and reach for the bottle another time

I know I made the rules and I broke every one
And now you're laughing at me because I'm the one
With shattered pieces and I'm torn apart
I wish I could rip out this foolish heard

So I drown my sorrow with this poison in my hand
And I pretend that it will help me to understand
Will take away this pain I'm feeling deep inside
The pain I never show, the pain I hide
I say I'm invincible, said I'm a stone
It keeps me alive but it leaves me all alone

And I'll go 400 miles before I fall
400 miles before I fall again
I'll go 400 miles before I fall
I fall again

The walls are thin around me, and I can hear
People talking outside and your voice is clear
Distorted vision through this shattered window pane
But I guess from down there it all looks the same

I'm lying in limbo, I don't know how to feel
In and out of destruction, now I know it's real
You say you're leaving, I say good bye
I say have a nice life maybe next time you'll try

A little bit harder, a little bit slow
A little more cautious till you know where you want to go
I'm a little bit angry, and a little bit hurt
And a little scarred by the things I've learnt

You say hey baby, I don't what's wrong with me
Lately I don't know who I am or where I want to be
I say hey maybe, it's clear to see
I know you don't want to be with me

So try a little bit harder, move a little bit slow
Be a little more cautious till you know where you want to go
I'm a little bit angry, and a little bit hurt
And a little bit tainted by the things I've learnt

So leave me standing, another day
Just a few more minutes, I think I'm going to be ok
It's the same old story, with a different face
The same old ending in a different place

So try a little bit harder, move a little bit slow
Be a little more cautious till you know where you want to go
I'm a little bit angry, and a little bit hurt
And a little bit damaged by the things I've learnt

I watch the shadows
Fall on your face
As the light breaks through the window in your room

I’m still unknowing where we’re going
But I wish the morning didn’t come so soon

And I will stay with you forever
If you want me to stay
And I will love you forever
And I’ll be here for you in every way

I can’t tell you
How I’m feeling
‘Cause I’ve never really felt this way before

Was always searching
No more searching
I have found everything I could have hoped for

And I will stay with you forever
If you want me to stay
And I will love you forever
And I’ll be here for you in every way

Books and walls and learning places
Misunderstanding, confusing faces
I'm trying to fight and trying to make some sense
Lost inside my head I'm traveling
To places and people and where I'm landing
I never know, what to do or when

But I'm trying to fight through the cobwebs in here
Suffocating me and making me hear these voices again
I want to get away, run away, leave this and all behind me
Get away, far away from here
I want to find a place, far away, leave this and al behind me
Get away, run away from here

Was I wrong did I hear you say
That you've been feeling the same way
Nothing seems to matter anymore
Is this burnout or is this fallout
I don't know, I just want out
I have lost the hold I used to have on this

And I'm trying to fight…

I'm trying hard to concentrate
What do I need to satiate
This desire that burns deep in me
Lost inside my imagination
Confusion, frustration
Looking left and right there's no way out of this

And I'm trying to fight…

Nothing in excess or overkill
Keep it in the middle, please stand still
You're moving to fast for me, you're moving at will
I'm trying to keep up with the way you feel

And you change so slowly
And you change in time
You're trying to break me down
You're trying to wear me out
You're trying to break me down
You're trying to wear me out

Ad everything else just fades away
I'm watching your mouth and the things you say
I made all the rules to this game we play
You made up the bed now in which we lay

And you change so slowly
And you change with time
You're starting to break me down
You're starting to wear me out
You're starting to break me down
You're starting to wear me out

Nothing in excess or overkill
Keep it in the middle, please stand still
You're moving to fast for me, you're moving at will
I'm trying to catch up to with what you feel...

I've put my faith in people, put my faith in things
That always disappoint me and always bring
Heartache and anger, confusion and pain
And just when I'm standing, they knock me down again

But every time I falter and every time I fall, you pick me up
And every time I'm weary, and every time I'm weak, you hold me up

So I'm walking out from the shadows, stepping into the light
Leaving this behind me, and starting a new life
I'm excited for the future, and learning from my past
But leaving it behind, I'm stepping into the light...

I've built these walls around me, they crumble and they fall
Revealing through my weakness, that I'm human after all
Seeking true perfection, but barely coming near
Remaining truly humble, by the reality I fear

But every time I falter, and every time I fall you pick me up
And every time I'm weary, every time I'm weak, you hold me close

So I'm walking out from the shadows...

I'm waiting for redemption, waiting for a sign
I'm tired of waiting, I'm going to leave you behind
Sitting here in silence, waiting for the rain
Some relief from this self-inflicted pain

And I don't understand the reasons I let you walk away
I guess that I was hoping you would want me back someday
I kindle this hidden feeling, protect this hidden flame
You don't see it but it will always stay the same

So I fall on my knees, and I'm asking you, I'm begging you, please
Show me the light, give me a way
I don't know if I can make it through another lonely day
So I fall on my knees...

I'm trying to remember everything you said
All your excuses are bouncing in my head
Can I believe you, maybe I was wrong
Maybe you just said that so that we could get along

And I try to understand you, I think I never will
I just don't think that you've got dreams that I can fulfill
I try to see things your way, try to make some sense
But in your confusion I'm loosing confidence

So I fall...

I'm waiting for redemption, waiting for a sign
I'm tired of waiting, I'm leaving you behind...

Where are you going? I didn't hear the words you said
What are you doing? Who are these strangers in your bed

Is it something I did to make you change your mind
Is it something I said that you can't leave behind
I'm living in fear of all the truth I'll find
Because I think that you are lying to me

I think that you are lying to me
I don't know why you've done these things to me
And I don't know why you keep on hurting me
But I think that you are lying... you're lying to me

And there are stories that haven't yet been told
And there are secrets that I'll keep till I grow old

And the things that I know have opened my eyes
To the truth and your deception and your malicious lies
And the things that I've seen will stay in my head
Memories till I'm dead

I think that you are lying to me…

You’re the closest thing to heaven, you’re the closest thing to hell
You used to be an angel, but then you tripped and fell
I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t know what to say
But when you look right at me, I want to turn away

Because I think that you are beautiful to me
And there’s just so much in you that I can see
And I want to stay right here just for a while
Just to see you smile

And death it does surround me, everywhere I go
I used to be so certain, but now I just don’t know
Everything is changing, nothing stays the same
And when I move toward you, I feel you move away

Still I think that you are beautiful to me
And there’s just so much in you that I can see
And I want to stay right here just for a while
Just to see you smile

You know I pinky swore I wouldn’t call you
But I want to pick up the phone
And tell you that I miss you
You know I don’t like being alone

But should I give you the satisfaction
Of knowing how I feel
Is it all a crazy game we play
Or is any of it real

‘Cause I push you and you push me
And I stumble as I fall
And I want you do you want me
Or is there nothing left at all

So if freedom’s what you want here
I gave you wings so fly
But if you think that I will leave you
I dare you to make me try

Still I’m tired of the waiting
Can you tell me what to do
I’ve told you how I’m feeling
Yes I’m still in love with you

But I push you and you push me
And I stumble as I fall
And I want you, do you want me
Or is there nothing left at all

And we’re spinning in this cycle
I’ve got my back against the wall
Is this only my obsession
Or am I getting through at all

I’m surrounded by the questions that keep me here
And although I search for answers, it’s truth I fear

But your smile has got me thinking, maybe it’s ok
For me to want you closer, to want you to stay

And if I had to die tomorrow, could I say I have loved
Or is it all a false illusion, that keeps me rising above

But when you move toward me, and put your head on mine
I want to breathe you in and breathe you out, one more time

And I’ve been dancing with disaster, it’s all a game
And though I try to break the cycle, it stays the same

But your smile has got me thinking, maybe it’s ok
For me to want you closer, to want you to stay

And if I had to die tomorrow, could I say I have loved
Or is it all a false illusion, that keeps me rising above

Still when you move toward me, and put your head on mine
I want to breathe you in and breathe you out, one more time

But I’m surrounded by the questions that keep me here…

Another Sunday morning, somebody's knocking at my door
And my head's still pounding from the night before
Another separation from reality and fear
Sometimes it's kind of hazy, sometimes it's kind of clear

Oh but sometimes I don't know what I'm doing
Sometimes I wish I knew
Sometimes I don't understand me
But sometimes I think I do

Touch me once and walk away
I'm not worth it anyway
Trust me I'm no good for you
‘cause I don't know how to love you or the right things to do

my body and mind's a separate piece
my body is moving but my mind is asleep
I find myself standing, looking in
I'm not recognizing this person that I've seen

O and sometimes I don't know what I'm doing…
Touch me once and walk away…

I guess it's hard for you to believe the way I feel
That this great indifference of mine is real
And you think you can help me, take me from this hell
But I have found myself, I'm happy in an empty shell

Oh but sometimes I don't know what I'm doing…
Touch me once and walk away

The rain's been falling now for seven days or so
And the thunder is crashing outside my window
Just like the storm inside my heart it has no end
A broken spirit that will never mend

And I sit here with my head in my hand
And the time slips through my fingers like sand
And I thought that I could walk away
And leave you behind
But every time I turn around
It's only you I find
But I left you, now I lost you…

And I'm writing down these words like I have something left to say
I guess I was hoping you would understand some day
My distorted view on anger and facing fear
Was just too much for me when you were near

Now I sit here with my head in my hand
And the time slips through my fingers like sand
And I thought that I could find some peace
I thought that I'd be free
But somehow you have walked away
With the biggest part of me
'Cause I left you, now I lost you
yes I left you, with the greatest part of me...

Four walls around me, do you think they'll find me
If I sit here in silence, not a word
Sitting in a corner, I can't take this any longer
Too much has happened around me
Is this confusion that I feel
Is this hate and misunderstanding real

And again I turn away, I say that I'm ok
I think I'm lying, have I deceived myself
And everything that's happened here
Materialized my fear of who I really am
I want to hide myself from you…

Something took my life out and left me without a doubt
That I am nothing with nothing at all
So many voices, too many choices
And invariably I choose the wrong one
Have I lost all my defense
Have my rhymes and riddles been making sense

And again I turn away…

People screaming, tell me what's the meaning
Of walking over nails and through the fire
Is no one listening, I feel something is missing
And I am on this road I didn't want to walk
I scratch my fingers to the bone
Searching for something that I can call my own

But again I turn away…

I have taken all these things
And put them in this balance
Taken everything
And put it on this scale
Where do I stand in this equation
Or do I stand at all
Do I stand at all

I have watched everything
And pushed it from my presence
I've felt all these things
But pushed my pain aside
Where do I stand in your equation
Or do I stand at all
Where do I stand at all

And if you had to choose
Could you choose without a doubt
Why is it I feel
Like I'm always loosing out
Why do I feel this way
Why do I feel this way
Why are you pushing me away
Or is this an illusion
My illusion

And now I'm questioning these things
And wondering what you're doing
I'm doubting everything
And wondering why I'm here
When did you loose your point of reference
Have you lost it all
Lost it all

But if you had to choose
Could you choose without a doubt
Why is it I feel
Like I'm always loosing out
Why do I feel this way
Why do I feel this way
Why are you pushing me away

I have given you everything I have
And I have given in to everything you need

And I have taken all these things
And put them in this balance
Taken everything
And put it on this scale
I don't think I stand in your equation
I don't stand at all
I don't stand at all…

These days are getting longer
I can feel my body changing with the tide
I’ve got to get myself together
Get ready for the ride

And I am getting older
It’s getting harder to get up everyday
I’ve got to find a new direction
I’ve got to find it some way

But don’t tell me things are getting better
And don’t tell me it is going to rain
Because I’ve felt these unforgiving summers
And they never change

And I’m going through the motions
Like these memories built through time
I rearrange my misdirection
I say I’m doing fine

But you leave me with nothing
So I will give you nothing in return
An endless situation
Tell me when will we learn

But don’t tell me things are getting better
And don’t tell me it is going to rain
Because I’ve felt these unforgiving summers
And they never change
No they never change
And you’ll never change
No you’ll never change

From this destruction
I think I'm recovering so well
But then your laughter
Puts me right back in this hell

And we all keep moving in circles
And we both keep moving in turn
And we all keep looking for answers
You would think by now we would learn

There's nothing but questions here
And life carries on
Perpetually moving
As time's ticking on

Is this the last time
I'll be walking down this road
This incessant motion
Is making me so old

Still we all keep dancing in circles
And we both keep moving in turn
And we all keep looking for answers
You would think by now we would learn

There's nothing but questions here
And life carries on
Perpetually moving
As time's ticking on

They've got me questioning my intentions
They've got me looking back at my past
They've got me wonder what I'm doing
They've got me wondering if it will last

They've got me questioning what I'm feeling
But what I'm feeling is a matter of faith
And now they're pointing out all my failure
And now they're pointing out all my fears

'Cos in a different lifetime I was beautiful
In a different lifetime I was famous
In a different lifetime I was worthy
'Cos in a different lifetime I was loved by you

Now I feel that I am falling
But I want to be falling here
And I know just where my heart is
And I know I will face my fear

And I know that you must judge me
But I don't care what you say
Because I'm sure of my conviction
And I'm sure of where I'll stay

But in a different lifetime I was beautiful
In a different lifetime I was famous
In a different lifetime I was worthy
'Cos in a different lifetime I was loved by you

Clear your mind of all these memories
Open up and let them fly away
I have been holding on to these feelings
I have allowed them to take my life away

And I’ll pray that you will forgive me
I’ll pray that you’re will be done
And I’ll say please forgive me
Forgive me

And I’ve been questioning my convictions
I’ve been talking ‘bout the things I never say
I have been pulled around by my confusion
I have allowed it to take my life away

And I’ll pray that you will forgive me
I’ll pray that your will be done
And I’ll say please forgive me
Forgive me

Maybe I've been gone too long
There're cracks in my window
There're breaks in my shadow

And maybe you don't realize
Just how much I loved you
And how much I still do

I was the great pretender
I am the great defender of my truth

And here I stand before you
I'm naked to the bone
I realize through everything
I'm still here all alone

And I have gone through memories
And I've worked through the pain
But now I see it doesn't matter
I'm still feeling the same

I am the great pretender
I am the great defender of my truth

So maybe I've been gone to long
There're cracks in my window
There're breaks in my shadow

And maybe I didn't realize
Just how much I loved you
And how much I still do

I was sitting at a station waiting for a train
I think that I missed it, I think it already came
So I'll just sit here
'Till the next one comes in

I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I've been
I don't know what to tell you about all the things I've seen and done here
What have I done here

But I don't want to be here
And I don't want to go
There's thunder in my head now
And there is fire down the hall

I was sitting at a station waiting for a train
I thought I'd write you a letter and see how you've been
Reflections in the windows, moving fast
And to the rhythm of the steel wheels I'm running through my past

But I don't want to be here
And I don't want to go
There's thunder in my head now
And there is fire down the hall...

Faded memories of long ago
Thought I'd let you know
That there's a lamp in the distance casting shadows on me
But I'm so blind, I can't see

That precious things never stay
They fall through your fingers, they fly away
With maximum effort you get minimum gain
I guess I was hoping that maybe you felt the same

You turn around and I die
I just can't look into your eyes
I hide the tears that I cry
At least I think I try...

I'm writing in the future, thinking of the past
Makes me wonder if good things ever last
It always seems confusing
It always seems like you're loosing

Precious things never stay

You turn around and I die

Don't touch me, don't look at me like that
Don't ask me what I'm thinking or how I feel
You see I know not how I'm feeling
And what I'm thinking, you can't handle that

I'm just part of this world we live in
And I'm fighting just to get by
I'm just part of this world we live in
So I guess I'll just keep living this life

Can I hide it, how long
Until I break up, blow up, explode again
And I keep this smile on my face and I wipe the tear from yours
And I pretend I'm happy, but happiness is not a friend of mine

I'm just part of this world...

Look into my eyes, tell me, what do you see
Do you see the pain, the anger, deep inside of me
This hunger growing, like a lion never fed
And I walk these steps everyday, miles inside my head

Just part of this world

And you can slit my wrists if you want to
If you have to see me bleed
You can hit my head against the wall
Would you rather see me dead

So don't touch me, don't look at me like that
Don't ask me what I'm thinking or how I feel
You see I know not, how I'm feeling
And what I'm thinking, you can't handle that

I'm just part of this world we live in

Daddy doesn't understand his daughter
He just shrugs and shakes his head
Mommy's always screaming trying to change her
But she will never see what's in her head

She always listened to what they told her
But she never did agree
Always silent through the ages
But she thought just wait and see

She's not the daughter mommy wanted
Not the person she thought she'd be
She has found herself somewhere else
Some place she would rather be

They think she's hiding behind curtains
Chasing starts she'll never find
That she's confused with what she wanted
But she's made up her mind

When will they accept that she is different
She lives in a world of her own
She knows she can do whatever she wants to
If people just left her alone

She's trying hard just to do something
Trying hard to prove them wrong
She thinks she's destined to be something
Sometimes she thinks it's taking too long

Maybe she is just a dreamer
Dreaming that she'll make it one day too
With a little faith and understanding
Maybe we should be dreamers too...

Sweet temptation
I don't know how I got in this situation that I find myself in
Just one touch
I didn't think it meant that much, a storm is raging within

You gave me something, now I want more from you
I can't explain it, for I am haunted by the memory of you

Shadows dance across your face, across a tainted memory
I need to taste, I need to touch, I need to feel you close to me
Momentary reflections, you take my breath away
You are the drug in this addiction and I need more in every way

You gave me something

I'm beaten around by the winds of change
Sometimes I think I should rearrange my life
There's so much here I want to be
So much here I want to see myself

And people think I'm crazy
But I think hey that maybe it's my disguise
And people think they know me
But they don't see the truth behind these eyes

I'm a thousand miles away
I wish I didn't stay so long
And all the things I seem to say
They change from day to day
And I don't know where I'm going
And I don't think I'm knowing who I am

I'm beaten around by the winds of change

And people think I'm crazy

'Cause I'm a thousand miles away

I'm afraid to go out in the street today
I've got a funny feeling something's coming my way
My premonition I can't explain
But the results remain the same

And I'm a creature of habit, accepted by few
And people laugh at the funny things I do
Keep the volume down, leave your shoes at the door
Don't throw your clothes on the floor

I'm a happy hermit, I'm pandora's child
And sometimes things get a little wild
I'm a cynic that only sees the hole
And I hate to loose control
I'm obsessively compulsive, this I fear
But you will never see me shed a tear
You reprimand me for the things I say
But it's ok, it's ok...

And there are books on the table and things on the bed
And a wild horse kicking in my head
I like the time spent on my own
I guess I like to be alone

And people think I'm crazy, they think I'm strange
And people keep telling me I should change
But I'm content with the things I do
And I'm not lonely when I think of you

I'm a happy hermit, I'm pandora's child

I put my head on the pillow again
I try to fall asleep again
But all my efforts are in vain
The walls around me are paper thin
So instead I put my head on the floor
I try to listen to what's happening next door
A woman and a man, screaming at each other
And then I hear them throwing plates at each other

Stop the world, let me out
I can't stand it when people shout
Where's my silence, where's my peace
When will the noise around me ever cease

Hear the tap drip, hear the footsteps, hear the laughing
Hear the talking in the shower, hear the crying again
And I try to block it out once more
But now it seems louder than before
A cry for freedom, a cry for help again

Stop the world...

So what do you expect me to do
Do you really think that I can help you
Should I pick up the phone dial a number
And break these chains that you've been under
And I guess I should have something to say
But it's not my business anyway
So instead I'll turn and walk away
Maybe I'll help you another day...

Stop the world...

I've been with the devil, slept in his bed
Consumed by desire, he invaded my head
The angels tried to pull me out by the arms
But the devil held me strong in his spellbinding charms

The wanting, the needing, the fighting, frustration
The longing for something I can not have
The wanting, the needing, the fighting, frustration
The longing for something I do not have

You give and I take, and I take what you give
With you I'm alive, without you I live
Day to day, hand to mouth
Just to get by, survival is enough

You turn your shoulders to cry
You think you can hide it, but your eyes don't lie
You've played with my feelings, you've played with my mind
And now you are searching, but you won't find

The wanting, the needing

You give and I take...

I think that it is time, I must be leaving
I don't know why I stayed here so long
There's nothing left inside this empty place now
I don't know why I keep on keeping on

I keep running into walls and into people
And running around myself again
Circles and circles and circles around me
I'm getting nowhere, I'm getting nowhere

I'm throwing endless fuel into the fire
And carving out your name into my skin
I can not have this breath that keeps me breathing
And slowly I am dying within

I've heard pretty words, and pretty lies from faces
Of pretty men, with pretty eyes in places
Running circles and circles and circles around me
I'm getting nowhere, I'm getting nowhere

This morbid fascination is a precious pain
That drives me crazy, but keeps me sane
I'm flying into the window, wanting for the sky
And now I'm wounded here, asking why

I think that it is time, I must be leaving
I don't know why I stayed here so long
There's nothing left inside this empty place now
I think that it is time to move on...

Keep your eyes on the road, look where you're going
And look at what you've got
You think that you're invincible
But I'm here to tell you you're not
You walk over coals and you walk over glass
You've got blood on your face and blood on your hands
I guess it's just too much for you to have

But nothing moves me and nothing holds me back
I'm consumed by this indifference of all the feelings that I lack
And I don't want to say good-bye to you
And I don't want to loose/hurt you
But I don't know why you put your heart in these clumsy hands of mine
And I'm shaking from exhaustion, confusion, lack of sleep
And I hate myself more than you do but I'm just in too deep

And I'm colder than the ice running down your back
Harder than the stone in your hand
This is how I feel and I don't know why
So I stumble through my present and through my past
Hoping just to find, a little piece of myself
A little piece of mind

But nothing moves me...