London Saints became the only side in 1999 to do the double over The Gents after a stunning assault saw them post the highest score against the club in 1999 and their highest in this long-running series. Better exhibitions of driving have seldom been witnessed at Victoria Rec as Trevor Mayhew (nine fours in 20 overs at the crease) and Chris Swiderski (seven fours and a six in just eleven overs, including 23 runs off Snarler’s final over) wove their magic. On a perfect batting wicket, The Gents, with the President’s Cup in mind, rightly went for the win at all times. They may have achieved it with a full team, but can still take pride in their response, the highlight of which was a marvellous fifty, off only 46 balls, by Dhruv Patel. Saint Steve Ramdial, aged ten and already on Essex CCC’s books, may be the youngest wicket-taker in any Gents’ game.

Heavy rain in the week had removed the aridity of a fortnight before when the entire park was straw-coloured. Snarler fielded without hesitation, as the track looked lush and green. Mayhew and Cronin posted 34 before the latter, having just pulled Snarler over the railway boundary for six, had a wild heave-ho and was bowled. Mayhew savaged Jimmy, lofting fours, three over long-on, in each of his overs. He had scored 104 on tour a week before and, according to Snarler, looked on for a double ton here. He reached fifty in the 13^th over. Daddy Ramdial was circumspect, but the ton still came up in the 21^st over before Dimo’s inswinger did for Clever Trevor. There was little in the wicket for Dhruv but Dimo and Toddy were more penetrative, though scarcely cheaper. Ramdial fell lbw and when Toddy induced a played on from the elder Mayhew The Gents had restored the position to 130 for four off 26 overs. The Ramdial lbw - no shot, pitched off, would have hit the top of middle - was met with much muttering by the batsman. In the second innings Cronin and Swiderski would lodge intimidating appeal after intimidating appeal for leg befores, mainly to umpires Richmond and Hemin Patel. The Aussie would pass some uncomplimentary remarks while fielding by the pavilion, which, it has to be said, caused more consternation to Saint guest Burman than the actual Gents team, who recognised it for the robust banter it probably was.

Lacking 11^th hour absentee Ashton and having loaned Burman to the oppo to even up the numbers, the ten-man Gents had kept at it well. Jimmy shelled a Mayhem skyer at long-on shortly before he was out and the otherwise impeccable Aabid dropped Ramdial, but these were the only blips. Hereon Saints went berserk. No bowler could contain Swiderski, while his partner Steve Cotton merely continued the support role that enabled these two to post a match-winning stand at Enfield. Shashi and Hemin tried their best, while Snarler bravely led from the front, bowling three spells. Fifty-six runs had come in ten overs - far from disastrous - when the Gent paceman, his figures at the time a respectable 11-1-43-1, trundled in to bowl the last over of the innings. A six into the railway embankment, resulting in a lost ball, followed by two fours, a two, a four and a three was the crushing response by the lanky Crimo. The result? Two hundred and nine for four declared, only the 10^th 200-plus total posted in the five seasons that Snarler has played for the club. The Gents’ share is six. The two Saints were within five runs of the record 5^th-wicket stand against the club, having posted the record for the 8^th just 57 days earlier.

As a statement of intent Toddy’s fours off the first and third balls of the innings could not have been bettered. He fell without adding to his score in the fourth over but Dhruv, striking three threes in his first twelve balls faced, carried on the good work with the impressive Hemin. The youngster may look a little crabbed at the crease, and is not yet a powerful hitter, but his defensive technique is sound and his temperament excellent. He was distraught at falling first ball to young Ramdial, a fullish off-break which he played over, but he had done his job. Remember the name of the ten-year-old, four foot two Essex colt Ramdial. If he develops, which under Essex’s wise tutelage he should, he may play for England one day, probably at the age of 29, spearing the ball in to keep the runs down before being banished to the wilderness for another five years.

Dhruv and Jimmy were excellent, although the tension was beginning to affect them both. Their running between the wickets was most entertaining. Dhruv tends to amble the first run, although the possibility of his facing tends, according to an unnamed club source, to make him accelerate a tad. But who cares when he is in this sort of form? A straight drive over the likeable Thomas’s head was the shot of the day. He and Jim were beginning to go through the gears when drinks were taken at the commencement of the last 20 overs, the score 96 for two off 22. The previous minutes had witnessed a new side of Jimmy. He twice snapped at square-leg Burman and umpire Todd for chatting quietly while the ball was dead, though it was apparently alright for him to say "I’d have been disappointed if he’d caught that" as a pull flew over Andy’s head for four. Mr Wright was not slow in bollocking Mr Patel for his calling and running, and refused to allow the players off for a drink when they mistakenly thought the 20 overs shown on the scoreboard referred to those remaining, not those already bowled. When later spectating, he barracked Toddy for not signalling a wide that glanced off the batsman’s pad for a leg-bye! Beneath his gentle exterior, Jimmy is an extremely competitive individual, only perhaps equalled by Masher. To be frank, The Gents need a bit more of that at the moment. While this was going on, Saints were in full umpire baiting mode and things got rather tense.

Snarler’s only blip was when he taunted Toddy, who had declared one delivery dead when the batsman had pulled away. Daniel raised his arm as though signalling a bye and shouted "dead ball", which was perfectly sufficient for scorer and players. "That’s not the signal for a dead ball, Daniel," shouted Pongo sarcastically. Toddy was then gently advised of the correct signal by Mr Thomas, whereupon he shared his new found skill with the scorer, though his attempt more resembled a fugitive from Top of the Pops when Mud were riding high with "Tiger Feet" in 1972. Snarler’s ritual, and very loud, denunciation of Mr Todd, who was merely doing his best (and who is, unlike about half of the lazy fuckers in the squad, prepared to do his share of scoring and umpiring) was bang out of order. Of course it provided more ammunition for the Saints’ three wind-up merchants, who resumed their tirade against Gent umpiring capabilities.

Only sixteen overs and three balls of the final twenty overs would be bowled, The Gents adding 78 runs for eight wickets. Swiderski, who had taken to bowling spinners in his second spell, ran out Dhruv going for a tight second. The crimo’s re-engineering of his action prompted one Gent to observe later that he had gone soft and was only bowling that way because the light was deteriorating and his pace would have been dangerous for the batsman. If that were so, why then did he charge in and bowl super-fast when it got really murky about seven o’clock? We will never know as he is returning to Crimoland in September.

All the batsmen scored a few but none could hang around for long. Snarler was run out after an excellent throw from hero Trevor Mayhew, who then promptly caught the combative Wright on the mid-wicket boundary. Dimo holed out after his usual cameo and only while Swiss Tony and Victor were together did The Gents look like getting anything from the game. Swiderski went wicket-less for his first ten overs but would end up with three, though his runs conceded were unflattering. Aabid and Shashi resisted for a bit before the latter edged to Ramdial, who took it low down at the second attempt. The batsman felt that it was off the pad but Toddy paused only to check with square-leg umpire Hemin that the catch was good before raising the digit. Batting only ten, The Gents were all out with 21 balls left.

So London Saints had had quite a day, what with their 4-2 win against Newcastle Utd. Fair play to them for honouring the fixture, several of them having given up their season tickets for the day to play here. Good things for The Gents were brave, assertive batting all the way and Aabid’s fine display of the ‘keeper’s art. Saints were deserved winners, though, for their scintillating batting and superior fielding. Mayhem the Elder became only the second player to post three fifties against The Gents. The other is Charles Arthur. This would have been a mighty ask for the best-ever Gents batting line-up, let alone one containing only two specialist batters and lacking late refusenik Masher. Well done Pongo, then, for instructing his men to go for the win at all times. Had they achieved it, it would have gone down in club annals as one of the bravest victories. The side should show no remorse at their failing to do so, just pride that they had a dignified go, and fell just short.