"How would you like to go down to the beach, little man?" Nick stood and held his hand out for Andrew to take it, which he did happily. "My headache is still bothering me. I thought some fresh air might help. We�ll just walk down the beach a little way, Kath, we won�t need the stroller." Kathy gave Nick a quick kiss and wiped some stray bits of food of off Andrew�s shirt.

"Is the pain just as bad as last time, Nick?"

He held her tight in a hug and then shook his head. "Off and on, it's not too bad right now. I'll take something and lay down later, okay?"

"That�s fine, hun, we�ll see you in a bit." She watched as her men started off down the beach, hand in hand. The image tugged at her heart. After a few steps Nick bent down to remove his sandals and then Andrew�s. Leaving them at the edge of their yard, they continued on their walk. Kathy smiled and returned to cleaning up the lunch dishes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kathy! Oh God! Kathy, come quick!"

She ran to the back patio from the bedroom where she had been resting. She stopped in shock at the sight of her husband clutching their son tight to his chest, blood staining Nick�s pants and shirt. "Kathy! I don�t know how bad it is, oh God! Kathy help him!" Her husband�s cries snapped her to attention and she took their crying son from Nick�s arms and ran to the sofa with him.

"What happened Nick?" Kathy examined Andrew with shaking hands.

"Ow Mommy, ow!" Andrew whimpered. "My feet, Mommy." She lifted his small foot and gasped at the gaping wound on the sole of his foot.

"My God!" She turned to ask Nick what had happened. "Nick where are you? I need some help here!"

Nick shuffled in slowly from the kitchen, where he had stood frozen by the door. "I�m sorry Kathy, I�m so sorry."

"Stay with him while I get some dressings for the injury. We have to cover it and get him to the hospital!"

Nick sank to the floor and felt for Andrew�s small hand. "I�m sorry Tigger, Daddy didn't mean to let you get hurt."

"It okay, Daddy." Andrew whispered.

"I let you get hurt, Tig, it�s not okay."

"I hurt Daddy." Andrew whimpered again as Kathy started cleaning the wound.

"I know honey, it�s my fault." Tears splashed down Nick�s cheeks as he squeezed Andrew�s hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kathy paced in the waiting room anxiously as the doctor tended to Andrew. He had wanted Nick to come in with him, and although the doctor didn�t normally allow parents, he had agreed. A few minutes later Nick entered the waiting room pushing a wheelchair in front of him. Kathy didn�t even see Andrew at first, he was so small, then she gasped at the sight of his foot wrapped in gauze and bandages.

"Oh Tigger!" She kneeled down to hug him and tears fell from her eyes.

"I gots a bang-aid, Mommy!" Andrew exclaimed proudly. "See!" Kathy nodded, smiling, as Andrew stuck his foot out for her inspection.

"It wasn�t as serious as it looked, Mr. And Mrs. Carter. It was a deep cut, but it missed any arteries. We did put some stitches in it. He was a trouper though, weren�t you Andy?"

Andrew nodded proudly then tugged on Nick�s shirt. "Daddy? What a tooper?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The doctor had prescribed Tylenol for Andrew�s pain and he fell asleep almost instantly when they got into the car. Kathy placed him in bed when they got home and returned to the living room to find Nick huddled in a chair.

"He�s going to be alright, honey." Kathy said, hesitantly. Nick remained silent. "You should change maybe, have a shower, you�ve got blood all over you."

After a few minutes Nick took a ragged breath. "I hurt him Kathy."

"You didn�t do it, Nick."

"No, but..."

"Why did you take your shoes off, and his too? You know what the beach can be like?" Kathy asked, curious.

"I know!" Nick yelled. "I know! It�s my fault! I couldn�t see the damn glass and he was running ahead...he yelled...I ran to him and tripped...I grabbed him up and ran home...I didn�t know what had happened to him for sure." Nick took a breath and began to cry again.

"How did you know it was glass?" Nick held up his hand, the palm was covered with dried blood. "I must have hit the same piece when I fell." Kathy gathered the gauze and ointment from the couch where they had been left and started to clean Nick�s hand tenderly. "You should have had this looked at." she admonished him.

"I forgot. Tigger was more important."

Kathy finished cleaning the cut and bandaged it up. "You should take something too, your adrenalin probably stopped it from hurting until now. You know, you really should have kept his shoes on." Kathy mused, stretching as she stood.

"God damn it!" Nick smacked his injured hand on the arm of the chair. "Don�t you think I know that? Don�t you think I feel horrible about this!" Nick yelled. "Our son�s first injury and it�s bad and it�s my fault!"

"Nick, I didn�t mean..."

Nick walked out onto the patio and down to the beach. His refuge. Kathy placed her forehead against the cool glass, watching him and wondering just what she did mean.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sorry, Leigh," Alexa sat down at the table, finally taking a moment to catch her breath. "The clinic is nuts today."

"And you love every minute of it," Alexa smiled, LeighAnne knew her amazingly well.

"Of course I do." She leaned forward, her elbows on the table. "So, a Baby Littrell, huh?"

LeighAnne's smile would have lit a room on the darkest day. "It appears that way. Andrew won't be the only Backstreet baby in five months."

"That is so great. Brian must be ecstatic." Alexa was subconsciously fiddling with her engagement ring as she spoke, a habit she'd had for as long as she'd worn the ring. She looked at it as she realized what she was doing. "Oh! I have news too." She laughed to herself thinking AJ would have killed her if she hadn't remembered. "We finally set a date."

Alexa had been expecting to see some of her own enthusiasm mirrored in LeighAnne's eyes. Instead, LeighAnne fiddled with the corner of her napkin, not meeting Alexa's eyes. "Leigh? What's up?" Alexa was suddenly very concerned at LeighAnne's sudden change in manner. "You're freaking me out."

LeighAnne looked up suddenly, "I wish I didn't have to tell you this." Alexa's stomach did flip-flops. Somehow she knew what LeighAnne was going to say. "Lex, AJ went a little wild on the trip to New York. I wasn't there, but Brian told me, and we thought you should know. Before ... " her eyes dropped to Alexa's ring, which was still being turned around and around on her finger. "Brian thought you'd take it better from me."

Alexa nodded. She was still absorbing the information. "A little wild?" Her voice was meek. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the details. "Drinking?" She was silently praying that was all it was.

LeighAnne nodded slightly, "That, and ... " Her voice trailed off, as Alexa dropped her head into her hands.

"Oh God, he did it again." She was silent for a minute, her face buried in her hands, then she looked up. "You'd think I would have learned. He's not going to change."

"I'm so sorry, Lex. I understand ... "

Alexa didn't let her finish the sentence. "No, you can't possibly understand. Brian wouldn't do this to you." Her voice was sad, not angry. Then she sighed, "Can we do this lunch thing another day? I've lost my appetite."

"Of course." LeighAnne stood at the same time as Alexa. "If you need me, you call."

Alexa nodded again, "Okay, thanks." She picked up her purse and left the cafe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When AJ got home, Alexa was sitting calmly at the table, sipping a cup of coffee. "How was your day?" she spoke without lifting her eyes from the mug in her hand.

"Great. Got a lot done. How was lunch with Leigh?" He leaned casually against the counter across from her.

"Very informative." She looked up, her face blank. "You didn't tell me about all the fun you had on the trip to New York." There was no accusation in her tone, but it was clear from the look of surprise on AJ's face that he knew what she was referring to.

"I was going to tell you. I tried to, but I knew you'd get upset and we were so good. I didn't want to ruin that."

"It didn't occur to you that the act itself ruined that. It didn't matter how I found out?" She was somehow managing to control herself, her voice just a touch louder than normal, belying the anger just below the surface. "You should have told me. I trusted you when you said it wouldn't happen again."

"It didn't matter, baby. It was one mistake, and if you hadn't found out ..." He knew his error as soon as the words left him.

"You asshole!" Alexa hurled the mug in her hand, narrowly missing AJ's left ear. He ducked in delayed reaction and then cringed as she continued. "Everybody told me. They said you wouldn't change. But did I listen? NO! I fucking trusted you." She paused to try to catch her breath, and AJ took his chance.

"'Lexa, please. I missed you. I swear it was just once. I didn't mean to... "

Alexa's head snapped up, to stare deep into his eyes. "You didn't MEAN to? Didn't mean to what? Didn't mean to get drunk? Didn't mean to pick up some chick to fuck? God Alex!" Alexa stopped. She was shaking from the fury that she felt. "Did you really think it wouldn't matter?" Her voice became suddenly calm. She took several deep breaths and then crossed the kitchen. AJ started to follow her. "Don't!" She said over her shoulder, as she opened the front door. "If you actually do care for me at all, you'll leave me the hell alone!" Her statement was punctuated by the slam of the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Kath!" Nick entered the kitchen and hugged his wife from behind.

"Hi honey!" Kathy turned her head and gave Nick a kiss on the cheek. "How did you sleep last night?"

Nick shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Why?"

"You were really restless, tossing and turning quite a bit. Are you feeling alright? Are the headaches still bothering you?"

Nick turned and felt for a chair by the table. "A bit, I've got a bit of a cold, but what else is new? I�ve got a big appetite though and breakfast smells great!"

Kathy smiled and popped some more toast down in the toaster. "It�s almost ready, I�m going to get Tigger and then you can dig in."

Nick started to stand. "I�ll get him."

"No, it�s okay." Kathy called out, already halfway down the hallway. "I�m already here."

Nick returned to his seat and frowned. "I never get him up from bed anymore." he muttered to himself.

"Daddy!" Andrew burst into the kitchen and threw himself on Nick�s lap.

"Morning Tig! How are you?"

Andrew wiggled himself around until he was facing Nick. "Good! I�m hungry!"

Nick smiled. "Me too! Let�s get you into your seat, okay?"

Andrew jumped off of Nick and grabbed his hand. "Okay Daddy, I help, okay?" Together they got his booster seat placed on the chair. Andrew climbed in and held up the straps for Nick. "Here Daddy!" he prompted. "I all ready for breakfast."

Nick secured his son in his seat and sat down. He frowned again when he heard Kathy checking Andrew�s seat. "I buckled him in properly, Kath. You don�t need to check."

Kathy bit her lip. "I know Nick. It�s just habit, I�m sorry." Nick didn�t say anything.

"I help Daddy, Mommy!" Andrew said proudly. "We a team!"

Nick smiled. "Yes we are! Team Carter, right Tig?"

"Right!" Andrew clapped his small hands together happily. Nick leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Mommy?"

"Yes Tigger?" Kathy bent over him and kissed his nose.

"Daddy says Team Carter hungry!" Kathy laughed and set a bowl of cereal in front of Andrew. "Here you go!"

Nick helped clear the breakfast dishes as Andrew ran around the kitchen. "I�m going to take him for a walk, alright Kathy? I think he needs some fresh air. Wouldn't do me any harm either."

Kathy opened her mouth to protest and then thought better of it. "Alright Nick, but not too far, Howie and Kevin were coming by this morning, remember?"

Nick nodded and put his hands out for Andrew. "Where�s Tigger? I can�t find Tigger!"

Andrew jumped into Nick�s outstretched arms. "I here, Daddy! Let�s walk!" Hand in hand they walked to the garage door.

"We�ll be back soon, Kath." Nick promised.

Kathy finished the dishes quickly and ran to the front window. She watched Nick leave the garage, slowly pushing the stroller with one hand, and tapping the pavement with his cane in the other. They reached the corner and Kathy gasped as a truck flew by them, she could see Nick laughing as they proceeded across the street.

"What�cha doing?"

Kathy jumped at the voice. "Rho! Oh my God, you scared me!"

"We told you we were coming." Kathy�s friend Roberta plunked herself down on the sofa. "I just got here ahead of Howie, he�s coming with Kevin." Kathy�s eyes skittered back to the window and her heart started to hammer in her chest when she realized she couldn�t see Nick anymore. "What are you looking at?" Rho stood up and stared out the window with her friend.

"Nick took Andrew for a walk, I can�t see them anymore."

Rho laughed. "So? Nick won�t get lost, and if he does, Andrew�s there to help him get home!"

Kathy tossed her a withering glance. "I�m afraid, Rho." The two women settled into the comfortable chairs in the living room.

"Of what Kathy? Don�t you trust him?"

Kathy studied her fingernails. "Of course I do, it�s just...Tig is getting bigger and more restless, Nick can�t keep him in the stroller forever."

Rho nodded thoughtfully. "You�re afraid of Tigger walking around, getting hurt again and Nick not being able to see what is going on." Kathy agreed with a nod. "Nick�s gotten very good at this blind thing." Rho told her. "You know that, you tell me how impressed you are with him all the time."

"I know." Kathy fretted. "But now, with Tig...he�s so fast...I�m so afraid something else will happen before Nick realizes it."

"You can�t think like that Kathy, the worrying will kill you. Nick is a responsible man and a good father. Something similar could happen while you have him."

Nick and Andrew walked back into the garage. Andrew was holding the stroller and walking beside his dad.

"Tat's fun!" he bubbled. "I like walks, Daddy!"

Nick carefully probed with the cane, making sure he didn�t hit one of the parked cars with the stroller. "Me too, Tig. Maybe later we can go down to the beach."

"Yay!" Andrew cheered and jumped into the air. He tugged on Nick�s jacket. Nick leaned down and Andrew gave him a sloppy kiss. "I wuv you Daddy."

Nick smiled. "I love you too, Tig. Let�s get in to the house and see Mommy, okay?" He picked Andrew up and entered the kitchen quietly, listening to get his bearings.

"And the beach, Rho. It terrifies me so much now. What if they are walking and Andrew goes in the water? Remember what happened to me in the pool?"

"Nick found you." Rho replied matter of factly.

"That was a pool, this is the whole damn ocean!" Kathy retorted.

Nick set Andrew down gently. "Go see your Mom, honey." Andrew gleefully ran into the living room, Nick following more slowly behind him.

"Hi Nick!" Rho greeted him when he entered the room.

"Morning Rho. Kathy, I need to go to the bathroom, if the guys get here tell them I�ll be right out."

Kathy murmured a quick yes, barely paying attention to Nick as she hugged Andrew and Nick sadly shuffled out of the room.