Chelsie tossed her purse, dance bag and Leilani’s backpack on the sofa. Leilani wanted to see her dance. She wanted to see her daddy dance. Of course she did. What child wouldn’t want to see their parents do what they did best? Chelsie breathed in deeply. She’d stored away the DVD’s from the show that her family had faithfully recorded for her. Just one of many things she put away in the weeks after Mark’s death. She didn’t need to watch them; she could relive every dance, every step, every look in her head to this day. But…Lani had a right to see her father dance. Chelsie couldn’t deny her that.

“All changed mommy!” Leilani bounced into the living room, dressed in bright pink shorts and a purple t-shirt. “What are we gonna do?”

“I’m going to go to the basement and get some DVD’s for you to watch.”

Leilani clapped in her hands in glee. “Do I get to watch daddy dance?”

Chelsie smiled at her daughter’s delight. “Yes, honey, you get to watch daddy dance.”

“And you too.” Leilani nodded happily.

“I guess we were a package deal.” Chelsie agreed. “You get to see me dance too.”

“Yay!” Leilani squealed and bounced onto the couch. “I’ll wait right here.”

Chelsie shuffled through the basement, slowly, not really wanting to be down there at all. Each box held something that belonged to Mark, a memory that she wanted to suppress, and a moment she couldn’t forget. “Where did I put them?” she murmured to herself. She turned to the left, fingering boxes of clothes and shoes before noticing a small cardboard box that rested alone at the bottom of a stack of the larger boxes. As she lifted the lid, Chelsie wasn’t entirely surprised to find it full of photographs, notes and cards. Their short relationship tidily enclosed in a small, striped box. Chelsie idly examined a few items, smiling at a photo, laughing at a note Mark had written her. She pulled out a small box from under a pile of photos and the tears began to fall as she realized what it was.

“Your home test is correct. You’re pregnant Ms. Hightower, about 10 weeks along. “

Chelsie couldn’t stop beaming as she drove home. Mark would be home tonight and she would tell him the news then. He would probably call a million times before he got home, like he always did, but she wanted to see his face when he found out he was going to be a father. She would wait to tell him. He would be beyond happy.

“Happy New Year, Chelsie Kay Hightower!”

“Happy New Year, Mark Kenneth, unpronounceable name, Kanemura!”

She could hear Mark laughing loudly; as he always did when she teased him about his middle name. She could almost see him tossing his head back, his shoulders convulsing with his laughter. “I’m still waiting at the airport.”

“Aw. That’s the second delay, baby. You’re never going to get home.” Chelsie protested.

“Don’t say that. I’ll be home before you know it. Where are you right now?”

“I’m just coming home from a doctor’s appointment.”

“What? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Mark, everything is wonderful.” She smiled brightly, even though he couldn’t see it. “You’ll see when you get home.”

“Okay.” Mark breathed a sigh of relief. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“I can’t wait to see you. I’ve missed you so much.”

“We are going to have a fantastic new year. I can just feel it.”

“You’re already making plans, aren’t you?” Chelsie grinned.

“Yes!” Mark exclaimed. “We’re gonna go home, and get married and have babies…oh wait…they’re announcing something about my flight. I’ll call you right back. Love you, miss you.”

“Oh Mark.” Chelsie let the box fall from her hands as she slumped against the wall. “Our new year was going to be wonderful. Why didn’t I tell you? Why did you get on that God damned plane?” Chelsie let herself slide down the wall, hitting the floor with a soft thump. “If it hadn’t been for me…” She let the words die on her tongue. If it hadn’t been for her, Mark would have been on a different plane and made it to his home in Hawaii. If it hadn’t been for her, Mark would be alive. Chelsie twisted her body around suddenly and slammed her small fist into the wall. Tears stung her eyes at the sudden pain. “It’s all my fault.” She whispered.

“Momma?”

Chelsie jumped at the sound of Leilani’s voice and quickly tried to gather up the scattered contents of the box. “Don’t come down here, sweetie!”. She called out to Leilani just as Leilani appeared at her side, handing her a stack of cards that she’d picked up as she had walked to her mother.

“Who were you talking to?”

“I was just remembering something sweetie. I guess I was talking to myself.”

“Remembering makes you cry?”

Chelsie swiped at her eyes, rubbing the tears away with the back of her hand and chuckled ruefully. “I guess it does.”

“Did you find the movies?”

“No, I can’t seem to find them, baby.” Chelsie tucked the memory box under her arm and moved beside Leilani. She didn't want to admit she hadn't even really looked for them.

“Is this it?” Leilani ducked behind a stack of boxes and held aloft a small box stuffed with DVD’s, all colour coded and labelled with one show per DVD. Chelsie nodded. That was it… another box of memories waiting to be seen by new eyes.

“That’s it, baby, good job. Can you carry it upstairs?”

Leilani nodded confidently. “Of course.” She held the box tightly with both hands and marched towards the stairs. “I wanna see you and daddy dancing, mommy. I won’t drop the movies.”

****************************************************************************

“What do you want to see first?” Chelsie noticed her father had organized the DVD’s by routine, so the set spanned her time in the top twenty, beginning with her audition and finishing with the finale and Mark’s win.

“I dunno.” Leilani shrugged. “What’s your favourite?”

Chelsie leaned against the couch, flipping through the DVD’s, recalling her favourite moments from the show. She had so many, it was tough to pick just one. And Lani wanted to see Mark, there was no way Chelsie could choose her favourite there. They all were.

“How about we start at the beginning?” Chelsie popped a DVD in the machine and snuggled Leilani close to her. “Remember when daddy called me a princess?”

Leilani watched the dances with a look of amazement on her face. She giggled over her parent’s antics in the pre-routine clips, practically collapsing in laughter when Chelsie was playfully punching Mark on the shoulders. Any time Mark or Chelsie made a face, Leilani would mimic it perfectly, after she finished laughing, that was. She clapped in delight after every dance, ooh’d and aah’d over every lift and booed if the judges weren’t complimentary to them.

“Mommy, you look beautiful.” Leilani gazed at the image of her mother on the television screen in awe. Chelsie glanced up to see what had Leilani paying rapt attention to the screen. Her breath caught in her throat as Mark’s image filled the screen, wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and staring at her like he wanted to take her then and there, regardless of anyone else in the studio. She watched herself pat the side of his face as she gazed at him lovingly and then pull her hand quickly away to chew on her nails in embarrassment, as she realized what she had just done. It was funny for her to watch their relationship grow on the show. In the first episode, they barely touched after the dance, by the top 12 episode, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

“You look beautiful tonight.” Mark murmured as he ran his hands down her bare arms.

“Th…thank you.” Chelsie stammered slightly, unused to this kind of attentiveness from a partner.

Mark pulled her close and dipped his head to her throat. Chelsie held her breath as she felt his warm breath on her neck and she prayed for him to kiss her before she passed out and missed it. His lips pressed warmly against her then moved quickly away as they were called to the stage. Mark quickly got into position and posed, but Chelsie, now thoroughly distracted, stumbled awkwardly before hitting her pose. She could still feel the spot where his lips had touched her, still warm, burning like it was on fire.

“Mommy, I love you and daddy dancing.” Leilani knelt beside her and threw her arms around her neck. “You’re so beautiful and daddy is so handsome.”

“Thank you, baby.” Chelsie covered Leilani’s face with kisses. "Daddy was very handsome, wasn't he?"

“I wanna watch some more!” Leilani hopped off the couch and expertly switched to the next disc. She jumped up beside Chelsie once more, snuggling into her side. Her eyes opened wide as Mark appeared on stage with Kherington. “Mommy, why is daddy dancing with her?”

Chelsie patiently explained how the rules of the show worked, how everyone had to change partners eventually and how she and daddy didn’t get to dance together again until the end of the show.

“So who did you dance with?”

Chelsie grinned, knowing Leilani would be surprised. “You’ll see, just watch.”

Leilani crossed her arms, pouting slightly, as she waited for Mark and Kherington to finish. “I don’t like daddy dancing with her, mommy. He’s better with you.”

Chelsie hugged Leilani tightly to her. “Kher was a good dancer.”

“Not as good as you!”

“You’re my kid, you have to say that.” Leilani giggled when Chelsie tickled her tummy playfully. "Here’s my dance.” Leilani instantly turned her attention to the screen; curious about who her mother was dancing with.

“Mommy! That’s Uncle Gevvy!”

Gev and Chelsie were both from Utah. Their circles never really crossed before the show, but they became friends during the show and kept in touch. A couple of years after Mark’s death, Gev had bought the dance studio that Chelsie taught at, on Chelsie’s recommendation. When Leilani was younger, Gev would keep an eye on her and let her bounce around in the hip hop classes while Chelsie taught the small fry ballroom kids in the neighbouring room.

“I like you and Uncle Gevvy dancing.” Leilani proclaimed. “But I still like you and daddy better.” Turning her attention back to the screen, Leilani delighted in the colourful Bollywood routine, trying to spot her parents as they leaped around the stage. Then she awed over the feathery angel costumes the girls were wearing in their group number. Mark and “Uncle Gevvy” dancing together with the rest of the top five guys had her on the floor, trying to dance along with them. When Mark and Gev were both in the bottom two, Leilani got very serious. “I know daddy won, so Uncle Gevvy had to go this time right?”

Chelsie simply nodded, remembering how she felt that night, so afraid Mark was going to be sent home.

“The guy who pulled the least amount of votes and is coming home tonight is…Gev.”

As Cat finished her announcement, Chelsie finally allowed herself to take a breath. Mark was safe. He came down the stairs slowly and straight into her open arms. He wrapped her up in his own arms, holding her tight in a bear hug.

“I was so scared you’d be sent home tonight.” She whispered in his ear.

“I was too.”

“I don’t want you to ever leave me. Don’t ever leave me, Mark.”

In reply, he buried his face in her neck, planting small, sweet kisses along her jaw line, carefully making sure no one noticed, fully aware all the dancers, the judges and the audience had their eyes on them and not the people on stage.

“I love you, Chels. I won’t ever leave you.”