“Dammit!”

Chelsie hit the floor with a thump as she missed yet another connection with Gev. She sat there, ignoring Gev’s hand that he held in front of her for a moment, as she pounded the floor in frustration.

“Chelsie, it’s okay, we’ll get it.”

She finally took his hand and allowed him to pull her off the floor for what seemed like the thousandth time of the evening.

“You’re doing fine.” Chelsie said, ruefully. “I’m the one who isn’t getting it.”

“Let’s watch the video again. I think maybe you are turning the wrong way or something.” Gev directed her over to a chair near the desk and hit the rewind button on the VCR. “Yeah…see…you need to turn left and you’re trying to turn right, that’s why we’re missing each other.”

“I’m just not paying attention, that’s why I’m missing you.” Chelsie stood up and walked to the center of the room. “Let’s try it again.”

“You’re getting frustrated.” Gev observed, with a grin. “I like it.”

“What?” Chelsie turned to stare at him, hands firmly on her hips.

“You’re almost back to the Chelsie I remember. The one that got mad at herself and frustrated and didn’t try to hide all her feelings inside so everyone thought she was fine when she wasn’t.”

“I never…” Chelsie began and then stopped herself. Gev was right. She’d spent most of her life since Mark died trying to convince everyone she was fine, when all along she had been slowly falling apart and not even fully realizing it herself.

“It’s alright. It’s good, really.”

“I didn’t realize.” Chelsie confessed.

“It’s normal for someone to be affected after something like what happened to Mark. You had to keep yourself positive for Leilani.”

“But I never…”

“Chelsie, it’s fine. You were in the darkness, but you’re coming out now. You’re blossoming in the sun and becoming yourself again.” Gev ran his hand gently down her face; leaning towards her, he gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Chelsie let her head tip back as she relaxed into Gev’s kiss. She had almost forgotten how good this could feel. Being held in the arms of someone you loved as they lavished attention on you. His arms held her close as he kissed her and Chelsie let her hands tangle in his hair for a moment before she froze. The texture wasn’t right; the hair wasn’t soft and silky, like it was supposed to be. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath as she pushed Gev slightly away from her. It was so good, but it still felt incredibly wrong.

“I’m…I’m so sorry Gev. I didn’t mean…it’s just…too fast.” she managed to stammer out.

“It’s okay, Chelsie. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“No, no, you didn’t. It’s just…I need some time…I think. To think, I mean. I liked it, honest…but…” She stammered again. Mentally, she told herself to just shut her mouth and stop babbling.

“How about we wrap it up for tonight? We, uh, we got a lot accomplished.”

“I…uh…yeah.” Chelsie snuck a quick glance at her watch. “ I need to pick up Lani from mom. I’m sorry, Gev.”

“Chelsie, it’s fine. Sometimes I just forget that it’s been so long for you. I’ll be more careful, I promise.”

Chelsie gave Gev a quick hug before she recovered her purse and dance bag from the corner and sprinted out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why are you still up, baby girl?” Chelsie settled on the couch and lifted Leilani onto her lap.

“She didn’t want to go to sleep until she heard all about your dancing.” Chelsie’s mother smiled as she ruffled Leilani’s curls. “She’s very excited about this, aren’t you honey?”

“Yay!” Leilani cheered and kissed Chelsie on the cheek. “I want to see you dancing!”

“I don’t think you would have wanted to see me tonight, sweetie. Mommy was falling all over the place.”

“Are you okay?” Her mother and Leilani asked, in unison.

“I’m fine, I just couldn’t concentrate.” Chelsie admitted.

“It will get easier.” Her mother assured her.

“I know, I just…it’s been so long. I have to get back into the swing of it and I’ll be fine.”

“The one you’re practicing this dance with…he owns the studio?”

“Yes, momma. You remember Gev, don’t you? We danced together on the show in the top ten week.” Chelsie replied as she helped Leilani gather her toys together.

“Oh yes. He was the nice Russian boy that came to see you at the apartment every day after Mark died.”

Chelsie looked up at her mother in surprise. “What?”

“You probably don’t remember, dear. You were a little…” Her mother paused, obviously trying to figure out how to phrase her next words with her granddaughter still in the room.

“Lani, baby, make sure you don’t have anything in the TV room.” Chelsie stood and gave Leilani a little push towards the other room. “Turn the TV off and get your things, then put on your shoes, okay?” Leilani obediently ran off as Chelsie sat back down on the sofa. “Were you trying to say I was a little out of it after Mark died?” She offered her mother a sad smile. She admittedly didn’t remember much of anything in the days after the plane crash. She knew people had visited, but she couldn’t say who had been there. She could vaguely recall people trying to make her eat something, people asking if she wanted to talk about Mark, people trying to offer her comfort and then, finally, people leaving her alone to grieve and mourn by herself when she was unresponsive to everything they tried to offer her. “Did anyone else from the show come by back then?” Chelsie asked, suddenly.

“Well, they all came at some point, honey. But you were so upset, they just didn’t know what to do for you.” He mother looked thoughtful for a moment. “Thayne and Matt came with the church several times. Courtney was here, Katee, and the one with the funny name.”

“Comfort?”

“No, but I’m sure she was here.”

“Kherington?”

“That’s it. Kherington. But that Gev, he came every day without fail. He sat with you and talked away like you were wide awake and talking back to him.”

“He’s a very nice man, momma. It’s nice to know he came by so often, even if I don’t remember it at all.”

Her mother looked thoughtful for a moment. “You know, your father and I wondered at the time if he might have been Leilani’s father.”

“Mother! I loved Mark with all my heart! How could you even begin to think that?”

“I know, honey, I know. We just found it odd that he was here every single day. We thought that maybe there had been something between you two. It was obvious when Leilani was born that she was Mark’s child. We know we were wrong.”

“I’m sure he was just being kind. Courtney and Gev were best friends with Mark and I. We did everything together.”

“He seemed like a very nice boy. It’s good to know he’s still looking out for you, dear.”

“He’s not looking out for me, momma. He just wants all the teachers to dance in the show because it’s the anniversary of the school.”

“And he wants to dance with you.”

“Mother!” Chelsie chided in exasperation. “We are just friends.”

“Who’s just friends?” Leilani asked, as she re-entered the living room trailing her suitcase full of dolls behind her.

“Uncle Gevvy and mommy, sweetie.” Chelsie told her, leaning down to retie her daughters shoes.

“I love Uncle Gevvy.” Leilani proclaimed. “He brings me good desserts when you go for dinner.”

Chelsie could feel the blood rushing to her face and she refused to look at her mother as knew she was probably blushing furiously.

“Dinner, huh?” Her mother teased.

“Uh huh.” Leilani confirmed. “Mommy looks really pretty when she has dinner with Uncle Gevvy.”

“Okay, honey, give Nana a big hug and lets get you home to bed.”

“End of discussion, huh?”

“End of discussion.” Chelsie said firmly. “This little lady needs to get some sleep and I need to have a long, hot bath to help my aching muscles.” She hugged and kissed her mother goodbye. “Thank you for watching Leilani tonight.”

“Anytime.” Her mother assured her. “Maybe you’ll call me the next time you and Gev have dinner.”

“Good night momma, thanks again!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Chelsie entered Gev’s office and shut the door firmly behind her.

“Tell you what?” Gev looked up from his paperwork.

“That you visited me after Mark…after the plane crash.”

“Oh.”

“Momma said you came every day, Gev, why?”

“Chelsie.” Gev ushered her to move closer and gestured to a chair beside his. “I’ve told you how I feel about you, and how long I’ve had those feelings.”

“But I had just lost Mark forever, Gev!”

“I came to see you as soon as I heard about the crash, everyone did. But when I saw how upset everyone was and how you were.” Gev took her hand gently and held it within his. “I had to stay with you.”

“But…” Chelsie started to protest.

“The first day I came everyone was running around, trying to find out about the plane and stuff, and you were just sitting there, all alone on the sofa, shaking and crying. I decided just to sit with you and talk to you and you calmed down, a bit. So, I kept coming back, I figured a friendly face would help keep you settled. As much as you could be at that time.”

“I honestly don’t remember, Gev. That was such a horrible time for me. I’ve blocked it out of my memory.”

“I didn’t stay with you and keep visiting you to make a move on you, Chelsie. I was just being a friend helping a friend.”

Chelsie felt hot tears spring to her eyes and she dabbed at them with her fingertips. Standing, she pulled Gev up with her and leaned close to him, placing her lips on his.

“Thank you.”

Gev blushed and looked down at the floor with a grin before he returned her kiss. This time, Chelsie let her herself relax in his arms and tried to push thoughts of Mark out of her head. She didn’t want to push Gev away. This time, she was going to enjoy it.