With a shaking hand, she slowly unzipped the front of the pack. She�d been too out of it at the time of Mark�s death to notice, but the contents of the pack were surprisingly undamaged by the effects of the crash. She slipped out a photo envelope, some money, a melted lip balm and Mark�s wallet. The photos were all of her, Chelsie realized as she flipped through them. Mark must have pulled his favourites from his collection and taken them with him. She felt a tear run down her face and brushed it away absent-mindedly. The wallet held more photos of her, but also some of his family � his sisters, his nieces and nephews and his mother. Some of the bank cards and credit cards had melted a bit from the heat. His Hawaii driver�s license had fused to the wallet, but she could still see his smiling face in the tiny photo. Chelsie was crying again but she let the tears fall unheeded this time.

Setting the small pile of Mark�s belongings aside, she zipped open the main compartment. The first item she pulled out was Mark�s 24_VII Danceforce sweatshirt, from the studio he used to teach and train at. She held it close to her face and swore she could still faintly smell his familiar scent � soap, cologne and after-shave. She didn�t know if he had been wearing it on the plane and removed it because he had been too warm, or if he merely had it with him for the trip to cold New York. Either way, it had been his favourite and Chelsie recalled many times that he had worn it, wrapped her up in it to keep her warm, or tossed it to her to hold for him as he danced. She folded it carefully and held it in her lap, wanting to keep it close to her.

Tucked into an inside pocket of the pack was Mark�s journal. He always carried it with him but had freely admitted that he was woefully inept at keeping up with it. He�d always said he was too busy experiencing life to sit down and write about stuff that had already happened. Chelsie smiled as she thumbed through the pages, Mark�s printing scrawled across the pages, exclamation marks dotting almost every page.

�So�my partner�s name is Chelsie, she�s very pretty and a wonderful dancer. I hope we do good together. I�m really blessed to get a great dancer like her. I think I want to dance with her for as long as I can. Mia is doing the choreography for our first dance!!!!!!!!!! But I think she hates me. Chelsie says she�s not worried and that everything will be fine. I hope she�s right!!!!!!!!!!!!!�

�Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!! We danced so awesome tonight!!!!!!!!!! I was so proud of Chelsie. Hip hop is way out of her style and she was awesome�Adam screamed, which is way better to me than a Mary scream.�

� I�m finding it really hard to dance with Chelsie now. I think I�m falling in love with her.�

Chelsie set the journal down and blotted her eyes with a tissue. She�d never known they both started to feel the same way toward each other at the same time. She�d admired him right from the start, even though she teased him endlessly. She�d always thought Mark started to like her more around the time of the Broadway routine, top 12 or so, definitely not as early as the third week.

�We had to change partners this week. I feel lost without Chelsie beside me. Kherington is a good dancer, but we just aren�t getting it. I think it�s me. All I can think about is Chels when I should be concentrating on my partner. But I can�t get her out of my head.�

�God!!!!!!!!!!!! Been so busy, it�s crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! This week has been good. I got to dance with Chels again for the group routine � a nice, romantic piece. It felt so good!!!!

Chelsie skipped a few pages, Mark had jotted his schedule, some sketches for layouts of new dances, bits of song lyrics, song and book titles and, she noted with a grin, the address and phone number of the apartment, outlined with her name plus stars and hearts.

�I miss Chels. I hated this touring crap. It was okay with the group, we were all together and it was so much fun, but now it�s just me�doing the promotional thing�and I hate it. I just want to be home with Chels and hold her in my arms.�

�Finally!!!!!!!! Last show, then I get to go home to Chels!!!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!�

Chelsie flipped to the end of the book, thinking that would be the last entry, when she noticed writing on one of the last pages.

�Chels,

You may not ever read this, but just in case you find this journal someday and decide to snoop (!!!!!) I want you to know this.

I love you so much Chels. I sometimes sit back and just look at you and I wonder how I could have been lucky enough to have you to fall in love with me. I�m just a weird, goofy guy from Hawaii and you�re, like, some beautiful princess from a far off land. I honestly don�t know what I�d ever do without you. I hope I never have to find out because I don�t think I could manage without you in my life.

I got so scared when you said you�d been at the doctors. I want you healthy and well when I come home to you. You said everything was fine�I hope it is�

I�ve been sitting here today (while I�ve been waiting for this damn plane) thinking about us�about our wedding (yeah�I know I haven�t asked you yet. I�m going to!!!)�about our kids. I think two would be nice�a beautiful blond little girl like her momma, and a little boy that looks like me (poor kid!!!)�that would be such great ohana.�

Chelsie laid the book on the table and dabbed at her eyes again. Mark got his beautiful little girl � though she wasn�t blonde. She could only imagine how gorgeous their little boy would have looked.

�Chels,

I hope you read this sometime, although, I guess if you do, something did happen. I�m really worried about this plane ride, something just seems...wrong�

If anything happens to me, go on and live your life. Be happy. Dance. You are so full of joy when you dance. I love watching you. Don�t deny that joy because you are sad about me. Find someone to love you and look after you, I can only hope they�ll love you as much as I do. Have babies. Visit Hawaii. I want you to go there even if it�s not with me. Dance. Live. Love. Be happy. For me, Chels, for me. I love you so much and it will make me so unhappy if you are living in sadness. Don�t be sad for me, I�ll be in a better place and we WILL see each other again when the time is right.

I hope nothing happens and I make it home to you, but you can�t deny fate. I think this is my fate.

I love you so much Chelsie Kay Hightower. Please take care of yourself.

Remember me always. Love you, miss you, Mark

Chelsie�s breath caught in her throat as she read Mark�s final entry. He knew. He knew that plane was going to crash and he still got on it. You can�t deny fate, he wrote. Perhaps he was right; maybe if he hadn�t got on the plane something else would have happened. Nothing could have been worse, of course, but Mark still would have been taken away from her. She closed the book and pushed it across the table. Her tears fell freely as she sat and stared at the journal. Mark had finally gotten his message to her. He knew it was there and he had made sure she found it.

�Oh Mark.� Chelsie sobbed. �I miss you so much. I�ve tried to go on. I�ve had to�for Leilani. It�s been so hard.� She picked up the sweatshirt from her lap and hugged it to her chest. �I�ll try to do what you want. I can�t guarantee anything. I love you Mark, I�ll never forget you.�

Chelsie slid the backpack across the table, pulling it towards her. She reached inside to make sure there was nothing else for her to find. Her hand closed around a small plastic square. She opened her hand and was surprised to see Mark�s Ipod resting in her palm. The corners were slightly melted, but it other wise looked unharmed. Chelsie set it aside and reached back into the bag. Finding nothing else, she zipped the top and front zippers back up. She got up from the table and dropped the backpack into the open garbage bag by the pile of boxes.