Nick shuddered with the tremor that jolted through his body, he was so ready...and Jake was killing him. He liked this feeling. Whatever it was. The roughness, the give and take, the domination and submission. He was willing to submit. Completely. Provided he got the chance. If he didn't die of anticipation before they ever made it to the bed.

Jake backed up, looking at Nick, the flush in his cheeks, his chest heaving, and saw him practically slide down the wall. "C'mon." he whispered, giving Nick a seductive smile, and walking backward, toward the bed, knowing Nick would quickly follow.

Nick practically leapt at Jake, ready to jump on him, assault him, anything he could do to hurry this along. As soon as he was close enough to him, Jake was grabbing him, holding him tightly, as they both crashed onto the bed. He was wound so tight, and so... he didn't even know what it was. He loved wherever Jake was going with this, whatever gave him the idea to play like this. He was showing he knew Nick well enough to get him ready for whatever may happen. He liked it a little rough.. and Jake was going to get him riled up, then take advantage of it. Take advantage of him.

Jake pinned Nick down, as soon as they landed on the bed. He liked the way Nick was already panting, his breathing quick and shallow. He leaned down to kiss him, fast, teasing pecks at first, then finally a deep, hard kiss as his lowered the full weight of his body down, sinking into Nick.

Nick kissed Jake back ferociously, until all his breath was gone. Jake pulled away, gasping just as Nick did. Before he could move too much, Nick struggled out of the grip Jake had on him, and put his hands on either side of Jake's face, pulling him back down to him, face-to-face. He held the eye contact Jake initiated without looking away, something he often found hard to do, but just then, it was no problem...he'd have stared back into those blue eyes for the rest of the night. He liked what he thought he could see in them. He pulled Jake down closer to him, cheek-to-cheek, and whispered in his ear, "How do you want me?"

Jake shuddered at the sound of his voice and at the suggestion. He drew his tongue along the outer edge of Nick's ear, and whispered back, "Just like this. I want to be able to see you."

Nick felt his heart stop and skip a beat. They'd tried a lot of things with him on top, but this. Jake was going straight for it...intensely intimate, making him vulnerable. And he found himself oddly at ease with the idea. He'd come this far with him, why stop now? "Then take me." He turned his head a little as Jake sat back, questioning him with his eyes. "Please." His voice was low, raspy with impatience and desire.

Jake had to close his eyes for a second, willing himself to calm down. He wanted this so badly, felt like he'd been waiting forever...just for that moment, to hear those exact words. He opened his eyes again and reached across Nick, grabbing the lube and condom off the nightstand that had been set there, smiling at the preparation. Once he had the condom on and was well-slicked with lube, he glanced back at Nick, catching his eyes straying away. Jake chuckled, "Did I do it right?"

"You do everything right." Nick said, softly, pulling him back for another kiss.

Jake sighed in the kiss, then pulled back, more than ready to go. "You're sure?"

Nick nodded frantically. "Yes."

Jake sat back on his heels, reaching for Nick's feet and placing them on his shoulders. The position was a little awkward, but he couldn't think of an easier way to be able to do it just then. When what he really wanted to was to be able to see Nick, to watch the expressions on his face. He glanced down, seeing Nick's hands on his own cock already, seeming to be in desperate need of some sort of stimulation. He positioned himself and looked back at Nick, "I'll be gentle, I promise."

"No. just do it."

"What?"

"Just...do...it." Nick repeated, through clenched teeth. He wanted it. He was ready for it. He didn't want to wait anymore, didn't want to draw it out.

Jake took a deep breath, pressing his cock against the tight entrance to Nick's body. He didn't want to hurt Nick, didn't want to ruin the experience, but he didn't want to disregard his wishes either. He knew Nick liked things rough sometimes, but this was a little bit different. He drew in another breath and made one quick, deep thrust, surprised at how far he actually made it. He felt the contraction around him and groaned, thinking this may be even better than he'd anticipated.

Nick's eyes were clenched shut and he was biting his lip so hard he was sure he'd draw blood. He'd wanted the initial feeling to be over quickly- he'd expected some sort of pain and he had been right. That hurt. A lot. But after the initial flash of pain it was just... He couldn't even finish the thought as Jake gave another thrust, sliding in as far as he could go, then staying still, giving him time to adjust.

Jake looked down at him, concerned at the pained expression on Nick's face. "Oh god. Are you okay? Nick...I'm sorry, baby."

"I'm...fine." He was breathing hard again, his heart pounding. He pulled his knees up, closer to his chest, the way he liked girls to do when he was on top. He still couldn't put a word on the feeling, whatever it was. It wasn't bad. it wasn't good yet either. But he didn't hate it.

Jake's whole body was tense, almost to the point of trembling. He would be patient. He could wait a little bit longer. He would fight the urge to...his mental monologue stopped abruptly as Nick began to rearrange himself. He waited as Nick carefully slid down on the pillows, removing one of them and wedging it underneath him, then brought his legs down, snaking around Jake's waist. Jake smiled at Nick's caution to not break the contact of their bodies. "Better?"

"Yeah." The word sounded a little strangled, a bit of a squeak.

Jake leaned over, happy at the easier access to all of Nick he was now granted, and gave him a slow, deep kiss. He gasped sharply and pulled away as he felt the already snug grip on his cock tighten. "Ohmygod." he breathed.

Nick groaned, Jake wasn't quite taking then hint. "Will you PLEASE just fuck me?!?!"

Jake's head snapped up, to look at him. "Yes! God,yes. sorry!"

Nick reached for Jake's face, hands on either side, and said, "Don't apologize, just do it."

Jake leaned down for one more short, intense kiss, hovering over Nick, hands by his shoulders and began moving very slowly, pulling back and gently thrusting forward. As much as he wanted to concentrate on Nick, watch the pleasure register on his face, he had to close his eyes - focus, restrain. This was everything he'd wanted - for Nick to trust him this much - and he had it. and it felt...amazing.

Nick's hand was back on his own cock, moving steadily, as he tried to assess the rest of the sensations bombarding his body. He didn't hate it, that much was clear to him already. If nothing else he liked that he'd allowed himself to be completely taken, to have someone so wholly possess him. Jake's movements were coming quicker, the smooth, slow thrusts changing getting shorter, more impatient. Nick looked at him -eyes closed tightly and imagined he must be trying to hold on...hold out...the way he felt with him a lot of the time.

Jake shifted just a little bit, pulling back to sit up some, and put his hands on Nick's hips. He wanted to change things, just enough to show Nick why this really had been an excellent idea...and he knew he hadn't hit it just yet, or Nick would have been convulsing underneath him by now. He slid almost all the way out, and gave a hard thrust. He was ecstatic when Nick gave a raspy yelp, shuddering in his grip.

"Whatthe. ohchrist." Nick looked up at Jake, wild-eyed. Whatever that was, he wanted again. Immediately. Repeatedly. "Fuck... me... "

Jake smiled, knowing he'd hit just the right spot and Nick had just figured out why he'd wanted him to experience this. Unable to resist Nick's moans and pleas for 'more' and 'harder', he began thrusting with more abandon. He watched Nick's hand jerking spastically on his cock, like it was too much to try focus on two things at once. His gaze shifted back up to Nick's face, flushed and damp with sweat, and contorted with an obvious overload of pleasure. He wasn't going to last much longer. "Baby. Just let go." he whispered, his own body starting to knot with tell-tale tension.

If he'd have been able to, Nick would have scoffed at Jake's directions to 'just let go'. Like he had a snowball's chance in hell of not exploding any time soon. He couldn't hold it - it was too much, too good. His grip tightened on his own cock as another shockwave raced through his body, just like every other time Jake had been deep inside him, his cock nudging just the right spot. It felt like every cell in his body was vibrating, just waiting to turn him into a quivering mess. He managed a few more strokes with his hand and felt Jake's grip on his hips getting tighter, his fingers digging into him. one more hard thrust and there it was - the next blinding flash of intense pleasure, setting him off. He cried out, his body quaking, his cock spurting.

Jake's heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was rattling his entire chest as he stayed still, deep inside Nick as he rocked through what appeared to be an impressive orgasm. He was close, too, so close, and every time Nick's body would clench tighter and tighter around him, he got closer. Hearing Nick calling out his name as he shuddered through the end of his release was what finally pushed him over the edge. He loved that Nick had let him go there, take him there. He groaned, his hips thrusting as he came, causing Nick to moan. Jake trembled, gasping, as he fell forward onto Nick's chest, completely drained.

Nick wrapped his arms around Jake, holding him tightly. There was no way he could let go of someone like this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, Jake sat up, blinking, a little dazed. He'd obviously fallen asleep on Nick. He'd been so deliciously exhausted earlier. He glanced up at Nick, and smiled back at the blonde, who was much more awake than he was.

Nick couldn't help the grin on his face. He understood why he often woke up to Jake watching him. There was something so peaceful, so calming, about watching someone you loved very deeply when they were at rest. Any doubts, any reservations he may have had left about Jake and their relationship were totally gone now.

"Sorry, I guess I just passed out." Jake said, chuckling softly.

"No problem. I haven't been awake that long." he paused and pulled Jake up for a kiss. "You wore me out." He finished, giving Jake a wink.

"You're...okay?" Jake asked, sliding off to the side of Nick, and snuggling against him.

Nick gave him a wide, reassuring smile. "Never better."

"So...what changed your mind?" Jake asked, changing positions again, to look at Nick as they spoke.

"I realized how stupid I was being." Nick answered, very simply.

Jake waited a few moments, to see if he'd elaborate. When he didn't, he finally questioned him, "Being stupid...how?"

"Just not seeing what was right in front of me. I've been so caught up in Kevin and being pissed off at him, I wasn't paying attention to you. You're so good to me. You just keep loving me. I just...finally saw that. I'm sorry it took so long." Nick told him.

Jake was sure the relief was visible on his face. He hadn't even been able to guess at how things would be afterward, if Nick ever agreed to it. He was beyond pleased with the way things had gone and that now he was being very. open. And he liked what was being said. "It's okay. I wasn't in a hurry. I told you that you'd have to figure it out, sometimes things just take a while."

Nick rolled over, pushing Jake onto his back and then hovering over him, "You know what else took me too long?"

"What's that?" Jake asked, wrapping his arms around Nick, pulling him down closer to him.

"I should have told you I loved you way before now." he said, softly, looking into Jake's eyes.

Jake's eyes widened in surprised, "You should have what?"

Nick laughed a little at his expression. He bowed his head to kiss him and said, "I love you and I should have told you before and not been such a pussy about it. You tell me all the time. You're not scared of anything. I shouldn't be either."

Jake slipped his hands around Nick's neck, pulling his head down for an intense kiss. As awesome as the sex had been, hearing Nick finally admit that he was in love with him was even better. "It scares me, too, Nick, but I love you more than anything I'm scared of. We don't have to go running through the streets, skipping and telling the world we're in love. This is just us, for us, about us."

He was okay with this. the way they were, what they had. He knew he didn't really have anything to be worried about with Jake, he was sure of that much. He sort of felt it was like learning about being in love all over again. Nick nodded at Jake, "All about us."

"Exactly. It doesn't need to be anyone else's business. Whatever goes on between you and I, stays with you and I. If we get to a point that we want the whole world to know, we'll deal with that then." Jake told him.

Nick wasn't ready to go there yet. He could picture the reactions of all those people - all of the "I knew it"s. He may have come a long way, but he wasn't willing to go that far yet. Right now, Jake was his refuge, his safe place, and he wanted to keep it that way, far from the prying eyes of the public.

Jake searched Nick's expression, "It doesn't ever have to be like that. We can keep this under wraps as long as we need to, want to, whatever. I'm just saying, for now, we've got a good thing. There's no need to get ahead of ourselves."

Nick nodded again, then said, "Thank you. for being so..understanding. And just...being patient with me."

"How else could I be, Nick? I want this to work, you can't rush or pressure something like that." He gave him another kiss, "I love you, baby."

Nick smiled, "You know, I actually kind of like that, too."

"Like what?" Jake asked. Anything Nick liked, he wanted to be sure he knew just what it was, so he could do it again.

"The 'baby' thing. I've always been so used to just calling random girls that, because I couldn't remember their names or had never learned them to begin with, but I know it means something when you say it. I'm getting to like it," he explained.

"You're right. It does mean something. I think all terms of endearment should mean something. Any kind of verbal affection. Those words should never just be wasted." Jake said.

"Hmmm...guess I need to find something to call you then, huh?" Nick struck a pose, suggesting he was deep in thought.

Jake cracked up, "If you think of something, great, but honestly, I just like hearing you say my name."

Nick turned back to him, "Oh yeah?"

He nodded, "Yeah, but anything sounds good when you say it."

"So then, me saying, 'Jake, I love you', would sound..." Nick trailed off, waiting for his response.

"Perfect." Jake replied, leaning up for another kiss from his lover.