The door shook on it's hinges as Nick entered the house. I kept my nose buried in my book, trying not to look interested. He and the guys had a meeting today. THE meeting. I had a feeling tempers would be flaring, but I also knew Nick wouldn't let it out until he was ready. I wasn't going to be the one to pester him about it.

"Hi honey." I smiled and offered a small wave.

In response, his jean jacket flew over my head and landed in a heap on the table behind me. Alrighty then, not in a talking mood.

"Aaron called earlier."

"I don't want to talk to that little shit right now." Nick flung himself on the couch and mindlessly flipped the channels on the TV, not watching anything in particular.

"He's your brother," I reminded him, needlessly.

"Brother!" Nick snorted and tossed the remote control to the end of the couch.

Ouch. One or more of the guys had done or said something to tick him off big time. The curiosity was killing me, but I let him take his time. He seemed to be enjoying taking his frustrations out on the household furnishings for the time being. I wasn't going to spoil his fun.

"God damn it all to HELL!"

A pile of books and videos toppled off the entertainment center directly onto Nick's foot. Then a video game whizzed by my head and clattered against the wall. Time to duck and cover. Almost.

"Where's my fucking game controller? It's always here!" There goes the TV Guide. Thank God he had good aim, nothing was being broken. Yet.

"You took it upstairs last night. You couldn't sleep, remember?"

"Fuck!" He fell to his knees and punched the floor.

"Don't you keep an extra in the drawer there?" I suggested.

Nick whipped the drawer open and pulled out the controller. I thought I saw a glimmer of a smile, but maybe it was more of a sneer. He was probably going to pick out a game where he could be the master of the universe or something. Kill everybody. Lovely. I had to get him out of this mood. And soon.

It didn't take him long to get the game running and to be yelling "Die! You bastard!" at the screen. I hoped none of his bandmates ears were burning.

I wandered over to his side and plunked myself down beside him. He shrugged off my touch to his shoulder and grunted something unintelligible.

"Nick?"

"I'm playing!" he gestured to the screen. "Go away."

I pulled the controller out of his hands and tossed it aside.

"I'm going to lose, damn it!"

Then I climbed onto his lap and planted a kiss on him. He wasn't going to lose, not this game anyway.

"Maddy. I'm not really in the mood right now."

"Who were you trying to kill?"

"Maddy," he warned. "I'm not talking about it."

"Okay, so don't talk." I kissed him again. He started to respond and returned my kisses passionately.

Before he knew what hit him, we were both on the floor, tangled together and trying to remove our offending clothing.

"Maddy, you're beautiful," Nick breathed, as I tossed my shirt to the floor. I had been just slumming around the house and hadn't bothered with a bra this morning. He moved towards me and kissed me gently, starting at my mouth and working his way down. I moaned as he sucked a nipple into his mouth. He was so talented. Nick pushed me backwards and covered me with his body.

"I"m sorry I'm in a miserable mood," he apologized.

"Are you still?" I grinned suggestively. I could feel him swell with desire when I swivelled my hips.

"Yes," he groaned. "A bit."

"Well forget it...forget all of it and get it out," I encouraged.

He grabbed my hips and held himself at my entrance.

"Are you sure? I don't think I can wait too much..."

For an answer I pushed my hips up towards him, welcoming him.

"God." He groaned again and pushed himself in. Gently at first, then roughly, all the way in.

"Jesus Nick!" I grabbed onto his shoulders.

"Did I..."

"No...just...God...move...I need you to move!"

He didn't need any further encouragement, bless him.

He felt so good. Words couldn't begin to describe how he made me feel. I wrapped my legs around his back and moaned in ecstacy as he pushed his thick cock into me again and again. Nick didn't say much. I wasn't sure where his mind was. He was groaning and gasping, certainly enjoying the ride, it seemed. I was quite willing to remain silent....

"Fuck Nick...yes...God..yes...right there!"

Sorry...relatively silent, as he worked out his anger and aggression.

His hands roamed my body, caressing my breasts, behind and my face, as he continued to pump furiously into me. My nails were digging into his shoulders and ass, trying to push him even closer to me as my release approached. I could feel it coming, soon. I arched my back up and up, almost straight. "Nick...yes...God...Nick!"

"Maddy! Fuck! Oh God!" I felt him swell almost impossibly large and then he exploded into me, coming long and hard, still thrusting but slowing the rhythm. Nick relaxed his arms and covered me totally with his body, his face resting in the hollow of my shoulder.

"Thank you baby. I needed that. How did you know?" his voice was muffled and his breath tickled my skin.

"You always need to wind down after something stressful. What better way?" I giggled as his skin twitched when I ran my fingernails over his tattoos.

"No better way," Nick agreed.

He rolled over so that we were laying side by side. Nick pulled me close and traced his fingers across my cheeks.

"Am I selfish?" he asked softly, so soft I could barely hear him.

"Selfish? You?"

"Am I a selfish, self centered, unthoughtful, ungrateful, miserable son of a bitch?"

Tears were trickling down his face, the only way I could tell how this was really affecting him.

"God Nick! No, absolutely not! Who said such things?"

"Am I?" he asked again.

"No, Nick. Never." I kissed him for reassurance.

"Was I wrong to do my album? To do something I love?"

"No, Nick. That was possibly the best decision of your life. Look how much you've grown from this experience."

"Brian."

Damn him. I should have known. The only one that didn't support him at all during his solo venture, the only one that had criticized him for going solo. What a shock.

"Nick." I sat up and gestured for him to rest his head in my lap. "Don't let anyone, ANYONE, take what you've done, what you've accomplished, away. Don't let them make you think it wasn't worthwhile or that you should have been doing something else. You needed to do that CD." He nodded his head, but remained silent.

"What went down today?"

"We talked some, traded stories and stuff." Nick smiled slightly, his eyes gazing at the ceiling. "Brian wouldn't talk to me though. The only reason I saw the baby pics was because Kevin passed them to me."

I tried to keep the urge of wanting to rush out of the house and slam Brian's head into a wall at bay. It wasn't easy.

"Then we talked about what we were going to do for a new album. That's when Brian started."

I wiped his eyes gently and let him continue.

"They decided they want all of me, no more solo stuff until the group as a whole decides to disband. Either that or..."

"Or?"

"Get lost and don't let the door bounce off your ass on the way out."

Fat jokes too, nice. I didn't bother asking who tossed that in.

"So what did you decide?" I ran my fingers through his still sweaty hair.

"We're meeting again in a few days. They want me to let them know then."

Nick sat up suddenly and pulled me towards his chest, then he hugged me fiercely.

"I don't know what to do. I wanna do another CD, by myself, but I don't want to lose them. We've got magic together."

He had that right. Their blended voices was one of the nicest sounds in music today. It would be a shame to lose that because they weren't willing to let one of them branch off now and then.

"Nick, I can't tell you what to do. But it's in your heart. All I can say is to do what makes you happy."

He agreed and leaned his head down to kiss my shoulder.

"I didn't think it would ever be this difficult. That we would ever feel this way."

"People change. Change and grow," I murmured.

"Yeah. Who ever thought I would 'change and grow', huh?" Nick laughed.

"That's my Nick back!" I teased. "I always knew you'd grow."

"For the better, you think?"

"Absolutely, Nick, absolutely."