For Her Love

~~~~~Part 2~~~~


~*~Almost two years after the wedding~*~

"What's the matter? I thought it was me that couldn't keep up!"

Nick playfully ran right past Kati as they played tag on the beach behind their property. He stopped when she didn't rush past him or toss a smart remark back to him as she usually did. He looked back to see her hunched over holding her middle, gasping for breath.

"Nick, I think I need to go to the doctor."

Kati pulled herself upright and hugged her sweatshirt tighter to her body.

"A doctor, why?" Nick looked into her eyes worriedly, and then he grinned. "Are you...?"

"No, I don't think so." She leaned into Nick, absorbing his warmth. "I'm just cold all the time, and achy. I could barely get out of bed this morning."

"You've just caught a bug." Nick turned Kati to face him and kissed her softly. "You do look a little pale." He ran his hands gently over her cheeks. "I'll run a hot bath for you when we get back to the house."

"Okay." Kati nodded her head. "Can we go back now?" She murmured wearily.

Nick gazed at her with concern. "Alright." He held his hand out to her, giving her a gentle pull when she didn't move. Kati's legs buckled and she fell to the sand. Nick gathered her up in his arms, holding her close. Kati never fell. He was the clumsy one.

"Hot bath and the hospital tonight." He informed her firmly and calmly, even though he was scared inside. "We'll find out what's wrong with you as soon as we can."

"Okay." Kati yawned and rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you Nick."

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Nick carried a sleeping Kati back into the house after the long trip to the hospital. They had stuck her with needles, asked questions and taken x rays. Nick promised to bring her back to find out the test results in a week. He tucked his wife into bed and went out to the living room to look out at the ocean. He was frightened. He didn't want to find out the results of the many tests they took tonight. Kati was never sick or tired. But she was absolutely listless at the hospital and Nick had answered most of the doctors questions for her. He said a silent prayer that she be alright. He loved her so much. She had to be alright. He paused to look out at the swirling waters once more, before he joined Kati in bed.

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"AIDS?"

Kati and Nick stared at the doctor in shock.

"I haven't been with anyone else. I swear to God Nick!" Tears ran down Kati's face. "I can't have AIDS!"

Nick sat dumbfounded. It had to be him. He had been with so many women before Kati, with protection and without. For some reason God was punishing him by making Kati sick and not him. That had to be it.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Carter. You are HIV positive and have the beginning stages of AIDS related pneumonia. I'll go over the medication and treatment you will need to start taking. Mr. Carter you need to be tested immediately for HIV, and possibly begin treatment as well. I'm assuming you and Mrs. Carter have been sexual active?"

"Of course." Nick answered quietly.

"We've used protection sometimes." Kati whispered. "We weren't really ready for a baby."

"And your sexual history?" The doctor scribbled in his notepad, seemingly ignoring their pain.

"I...I was a virgin. Nick was my first." Kati swayed towards Nick. "He's been the only one!"

"I've been with several women. Before Kati." Nick emphasised. "Kati's been the only one since I met her." Nick held his wife tightly. "I haven't cheated on her. My last test was clean."

"When was your last test?"

"A few months before I met Kati, we've been together for almost two years now."

"I need to have you tested Mr. Carter. Have either of you had blood transfusions, operations, anything of that nature? Anything involving needles?"

"We had our blood tests before our wedding." Kati sniffed. "And I give blood regularly."

"Me too." Nick offered, then scratched his head in thought. " I got a new tattoo not long ago."

Kati stuck her leg out and pointed out the anklet tattoo that decorated her limb. "You convinced me to get one too, remember? We got them the same day." Her voice was shaky. "But that couldn't be it?"

The doctor jotted the information down and then instructed Nick where to go for his test. Kati stared forlornly after him as the doctor began explaining her diagnosis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nick hung up the phone and walked slowly back to Kati. She was huddled on the couch, buried under two fleece throws and staring out at the sun reflecting off the water.

"Was that the doctor?"

Nick continued walking towards her, taking her hand and curling up beside her, holding her as close as possible. All without a word.

"Nick?"

"It was me. I did this to you. How can I ever...? Kati, baby..."

Kati felt Nick's warm tears sinking into her tshirt. He was sick too? No, he couldn't be!

"Nick, what did the doctor say?" Kati tucked her fingers under his chin and pulled his face upwards. "Tell me!" She urged.

"I'm HIV positive. I gave this to you. You were healthy before you met me."

Kati blanched. "No, Nick. You're fine. It can't be!"

"I am. It's true! It's my fault!" He buried his face in her chest, fresh tears soaking her shirt. "I'm so sorry Kati."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Nick." Kati burst into a coughing fit as she tried to rouse Nick from his memories. "The pillow. Please." She didn't want to beg, but she couldn't do this much longer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As it turned out, Kati was the one to pass the virus on to Nick. After studying the test results the doctors concluded Kati had acquired the AIDS virus through a bad needle when she had her tattoo done. Sometime later, she had passed the virus on to her husband, Nick. Kati's immune system was not as strong and let the virus attack her. The doctors also told them it would only be a matter of time until Nick became ill as well, his diagnosis was also full blown AIDS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before either of them got too ill, Nick and Kati traveled back to Australia to renew their wedding vows. They spent most of their time on the beach, being close, sharing in their love, and trying to forget what awaited them when they returned home. Surrounded by the ocean and being with each other, they felt ageless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

None of the prescribed medicine seemed to help Kati. Nick helplessly waited as she got sicker and sicker and weaker and weaker. The virus let the pneumonia attack Kati first, then the cancer cells were found. One illness after another knocked her down until she just couldn't get up anymore. The doctors solemnly told him that it was now just a matter of time, the cancer was taking over her body, the chemotherapy wasn't working, there just wasn't anything more they could do for his beloved wife. Nick went to the hospital chapel and cried, needing to get it all out before he saw Kati. She needed him to be strong. To help her be strong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Take me home Nick. I don't want to die here."

Nick smiled and kissed her cheek. "You're not gonna die, baby. Don't talk like that." He tried to keep his voice from wavering.

"Honey, tomorrow is our anniversary. We've been married three years. I want to be home, by the water, not in this damn hospital bed with all these useless tubes and wires. I'm going to die and I want to die with you." Kati waved her arm weakly. "Take me home, please."

Nick knew there was no hope when the doctors let him take his wife home with no arguments. They knew. He wondered how long he had with her. Days? Hours? Minutes? It was so unfair.

So he had taken her home and put her in their bed. The window curtains were opened wide so that Kati could see their beloved water crashing on the beach below. Her preferred music never left the CD player and she was wearing her favourite pajamas decorated with teddy bears. Nick only left her side to get her a drink of juice or water. She wasn't able to keep much food down. Nick tried to keep the mood positive. He didn't want Kati feeling depressed or sorry for herself. He also didn't want to tell her that he was feeling ill now too. Over the night, while Kati slept, he'd thrown up several times. The virus had finally caught up with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now it was the morning of their anniversary.

Nick squeezed Kati's hand gently and brushed her few wisps of hair from her forehead. Most of it had fallen out during her chemo treatments. She usually wore a scarf, but hadn't bothered in the last few days. Her body was a mere shadow, wasted away by the terrible virus. He laid beside her and carefully held her, afraid he might bump her the wrong way and cause her pain. He traced his fingers along her face, her cheekbones, her lips, her eyes, planting kisses in his fingers wake. Kati's eyes opened, then fluttered shut again as he kissed her eyelids.

"Happy anniversary baby."

"My Nickolas." Kati reached up to touch his face, but wasn't able to lift her arm. Nick lowered his head to her instead.

"I love you."

"I need you to do something, Nick, please."


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