We had to stay in the waiting room, again. Dani was much more subdued this time, curling up in my arms and resting her head on my shoulder. I was glad. My hands were shaking so badly, I didn't think I could hold her if she had been squirming around like earlier. The nurse ushered us in, smiling at Dani as we went by. I fidgeted in my seat as we waited for Dr. Haywood. Why can't things just be ready when you go to the doctor's office? Why is there so much waiting? I ended up pacing the room. Finally he entered, head down, reading a stack of papers in his hands.

"Nickolas."

"Dr. Haywood."

The moments silence between our greetings seemed like an hour.

"Do you have the results? Do you know anything?"

"The results have come back, Nickolas, yes."

"And?" He was trying to kill me, I swear.

"Do you want to sit down?"

"No, I...no...please, just tell me."

"Nickolas...there is a 99.5% possibility that you are the father of Daniella..."

He kept talking, but I didn't hear anything else. My heart dropped and my knees literally disappeared. All of a sudden I needed to sit down very badly. I was aware of someone plucking Dani away from me. I started to shake all over. And cry. It couldn't be true. I couldn't be her father.

"Nickolas, are you alright?

Was I alright? I had just found out I was a father of a three month old baby. An adorable, helpless baby girl that didn't deserve me for a father. I was 22 years old, single and stupid. And a father. And he was asking if I was alright?

"No...I....I'm not. I'm really not. I think I'm going to throw up."

"Do you have someone you can talk to? I can recommend someone for you."

Talk to someone? Who would understand what I was going through right now? No one...there was...

"No. I'll be...fine. I'll be fine." I didn't sound fine. Nope, not at all.

"Nickolas?"

"I just have to...get used to this...I...I'll deal. Really."

"You'll deal? Nickolas, this is serious. When that baby goes home with you this time...she's yours. No one is going to come and get her, there's no one you can send her to. She belongs to you."

I buried my face in my hands and let it out. I cried until I was sure I had no more tears. Then I cried some more. Dr. Haywood left me alone, thank God. I needed to get it out. Just get it out and move on. I would be fine. I took a deep breath and swiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Better?"

"Some. Where's Dani?" I swiped at my nose. I must have looked horrible. I know I felt it.

Dr. Haywood smiled. "Nurse Connors took her to be weighed and checked over. I thought it was a good time."

I nodded slowly.

"Can we have a look at your daughter's papers? There may be some information we need to know."

"My daug..." I gulped. The thought that she was actually my daughter had not sunk in yet. "I brought them." I felt in my back pocket. "Sorry, I left them in the car."

"Go get them Nickolas." Doctor Haywood instructed. Then, in a kindly voice, "Take your time, Daniella will be fine with Nurse Connors."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walked like a zombie through the waiting room and back to the car. I settled in behind the wheel and rested my head on the steering wheel. A daughter. I, Nick Carter, had a baby girl. Unbelievable. I shook my head and opened the glove box to retrieve the papers Dani's mother left with her. I turned the envelope over and over in my hands, unwilling to open it and find the possible truths revealed within. Finally, I tore the end of the envelope open and slid out the contents. Dani's birth certificate, a letter, some photos, medical stuff, a small certificate with tiny footprints on one side and little hand prints on the other. I studied those for a moment. So small. I picked up the photos again. One of Dani on someone's lap, her mother, I guessed. One of Dani just after she was born. She was still covered with..stuff...and crying. I felt a tear rolling down my face. This wasn't fair. The birth certificate didn't tell me much. My name was listed as the father. Jane Doe as the mother. The bitch had her name removed from the certificate. It wasn't like I would remember her anyway. Dammit. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. Dani's birthday was June 20, 2002. Great, I knew my daughter's birthday. I dropped that and picked up the letter. It was to Dani.

"Dearest Daniella,

I love you so much and I'm so sorry I have to do this. Nick can give you so much more than I can. I can't give you anything, not even a house. I'm not fit to be your mother. I'm not ready. I'm not worthy. Nick is. He's your daddy and he will love you. I know he will. He's a good man, deep down. He wasn't there for me during your birth, but I know he would have been, if he'd known about you. And that's my fault. I should have tried harder to find him.

For you.

But I found him now and you're with him, where you belong and where you will get all you deserve. You're such a special angel. Be good for your daddy, okay angel?

I love you so much.

Don't hate me, darling..."

Jesus. With a sigh I stuffed the necessary papers back in the envelope, the rest stayed on the front seat of the car, and made my way back to the doctors office. Dani was back in the room and I accepted her into my arms quietly. She looked at me and smiled, with a giggle, then snuggled her head into my chest. I stifled a sob and handed the papers over to the doctor.

"Looks like someone knew who she belonged to before anyone else did." Doctor Haywood observed.

"Doc..um...Doctor Haywood? Do you mind if I leave the papers with you? I...we...can come back tomorrow to get them. I just need....I need...damn..." I was crying again.

"Go Nickolas. But drive safely."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got Dani back in her seat and climbed into the front. I turned around to look at her cooing in her seat.

"I guess we need to buy some things. But I..."

Shit..I thought the tears were done, but they just kept falling.

"Dani. I don't know what we're going to do. I don't know anything."

I wiped my eyes again and started the car. At first I didn't know where we were headed and then, all of a sudden, I knew. There was only one place I could go. Somewhere to talk, somewhere for advice and somewhere I absolutely needed to go. Because right now I felt like a little boy and there was only one person that could calm my fears.

Momma.