“Good afternoon.” Heidi took a few steps back when I opened the door and cast her eyes down towards her small suitcase.

“Hey.” I welcomed her with a smile. “Is this all you have?”

“No, there’s a bit more in the car.” She gestured to the small, battered car at the side of the road. “I couldn’t carry everything.”

“I’ll help.” I offered. “Let’s get this in, and I’ll show you your room. I can grab the rest of your stuff later.”

“No!”

Heidi’s tone of voice made me look at her with a raised eyebrow. I offered a, hopefully, friendly grin. “You got stuff you don’t want me to see?”

“It’s not that.” She edged back against the front door, nervously. “I don’t want you to think I’m…I’m…” she stuttered, obviously flustered.

I knew what she was probably thinking. That I would think less of her because she was poor and maybe didn’t have much or maybe the condition of what she did have. That didn’t bother me. I knew she was a widow. I already figured from the way she begged for the job that she didn’t have much. “I don’t think anything. If you want to get the stuff yourself, no problem.” I shrugged and picked up her small case. “Ready to take this to your new room?”

Heidi relented and let me help carry her remaining belongings up to her room. I set the last box down near the dresser and flopped on the bed.

“That’s the last one, Heidi. I’m wiped out!” I teased, swiping the back of my hand across my forehead. In reality, she really didn’t have much to bring in, a couple of boxes, one other tiny suitcase and a couple shopping bags with groceries and bath supplies.

“I’m sorry.” Heidi turned from the dresser and apologized.

“I’m teasing. It was no problem.” I stood up and wiped my hands on my jeans. “I’m going to check on Dani. Feel free to do whatever you want here, this is your room now.”

“I’d like to say something before you go.”

“Yes?” I turned and waited expectantly by the doorway.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I treated you terribly the other night. And then to call and tell you I couldn’t do the job. I’m very sorry.”

“It’s alright. I didn’t realize the subject of Dani’s mother would still get me so stressed out. I’ll try to keep myself in check.”

“I shouldn’t have pushed. I mean, I don’t know how you are raising Dani, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You’ll see how I’m raising Dani soon enough. I think you’ll be satisfied.”

“I am sorry.” Heidi persisted.

I took her hand in mine; I was a bit surprised she didn’t try to yank it away. “I believe you. Really I do.”

Heidi blushed a bit and turned away from me after I released her hand. “When does my job start?”

“Oh yeah. Once Dani gets up from her nap. I have to go into the recording studio and mess with some tracks. Bec is going to be there, but she has official shit to do. Normally, I wouldn’t take Dani to the studio, but I’m not ready to leave her yet. We thought it would be good for me, and you. You can get a feel of my job and what it all means and watch Dani at the same time. I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s fine. Will that be a normal day?”

I laughed. “I don’t think any of my days are normal days! I just take them as they come and hope for the best, you know?”

Heidi nodded. “Should I get Dani up later, if she cries?”

“No.” I didn’t want to sound like a hardass here so I chose my words carefully. “When I’m home, I will be looking after Dani in every way. If I’m out, she’s all yours. If we are at an event or concert or whatever, when I’m working, she’s yours. As soon as I’m done, I’m back to being Daddy.” I sat down on the bed and looked up at Heidi. “I want her to know me and not her babysitter. No offense, of course. I want to experience as much as I can with her.”

“That’s understandable.” Heidi murmured.

“I just…she’s so young and I’ve already missed so much. I don’t want to miss anything else. So I decided that I really want someone to look after her only when I absolutely can’t be with her. And I’m trying to make those moments minimal.”

Heidi nodded, but didn’t say anything. I really didn’t want to upset her, but I think I had, even if it was just a little bit.

“Hell, I don’t know if I can live up to the standards I’ve set for myself, but that’s what I’m hoping for.”

“You want to be Wonder Dad?” Heidi offered up a small smile.

“No. I want to be Dani’s dad.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were halfway through the recording session and as much as I knew it would bug the guys I had to go hold Dani. I could see her and Heidi through the glass as I sang. Heidi would bend her head down and point. Dani would smile at me. Heidi would take one of Dani’s chubby hands and wave it at me. I was dying.

“I need a break guys.” I hollered out as the song playback ended.

“Piss break?”, the guitarist asked. “I could use one too.”

“Nope. Daddy break. I miss my baby girl already.” I broke out into a run to the door.

“Look at that.” I could hear them teasing, but I paid no attention. “Not even a year old and she’s got him whipped, fully and completely.”

After my fix of kisses and cuddles, Daddy time was over for now I got back into recording. I ran through a few more songs that we were debating releasing on the CD. I really liked one called “Payback”, but the suits were unsure because I almost swear in it. Shit. Someone like Tommy Lee can release his stuff saying pretty much anything he pleases and I can’t say ‘motherf……….’. And I don’t even say it! Times like this I hated being a member of a pop group.

“Okay Nick, I think we’re done for today in here, but they need you in the office.”

I sighed and gestured to Heidi that I would be a few more minutes and hustled to the studio office.

“Nick, sounding great out there!” The head suit shook hands with me and made a motion for me to sit beside Bec, who was writing furiously on her notepad.

“Thanks!” I ran my fingers through my hair and looked at Bec wonderingly. “You’re happy with what we have in the can so far?”

“We’re really pleased. You’re going outside your comfort zone on a few tracks, but we like them.” I could tell they probably weren’t really, my comfort zone was the rock songs, not the bubble gum shit they wanted me to record, but the truth would come out when they handed me their requested song list for the CD.

“That’s great. So what’s up?”

Head suit looked at Bec, Bec looked at me and smiled. “We need a ballad.”

“We’ve got ballads. ‘Heart without a home’, Do I have to Cry…’ There’s a couple more too.” I protested. I did not want this CD to be all ballads; nothing would suck more.

“Nick, they want a personal ballad, they want one from you.”

“From me?”

“You’ve got a daughter now, your life has changed, surely you can come up with something. It might end up being the smash of the CD.”

“So you want a power ballad, about my life? My daughter?”

“We just want it from you.” The suit enthused. “We want it real.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They want it real.”

Bec, Heidi, Dani and myself headed to my favorite restaurant once I was released from the office. I needed to eat and so did Dani. I held her perched on my lap, contentedly downing her bottle, while the three of us talked.

“Why do they want me to write it?”

“They just think it would sound better coming from you than a paid writer.”

“Ah, they just want to save money!” I teased, knowing they would never willingly want me to write a song if they had a smash from someone proven. “I’ll sit down and see what I can do. But I really can’t think of a subject right now.”

Bec eyed me gently urging Dani to finish her bottle. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.” She smiled.

Heidi was sitting quietly just pushing her food around on her plate. I touched her hand softly and made her look up. “What did you think of today?”

“Well, it was a bit boring. Dani was getting a little restless with nothing to do there.” Heidi grudgingly admitted. “But you were great. You sound very good by yourself.”

“Thanks.” I grinned. “It’s not permanent though. I just need to get this out.”

“I think you will do fine with it. Are you touring after it comes out?”

I sighed deeply. “Probably. It was on the cards before Dani arrived. Her being here makes it difficult but not impossible. I guess she’ll just get used to life on the road early.”

“You aren’t really thinking of taking her on tour with you? When you’ve got me to look after her?” Heidi asked incredulously.

“What did I tell you earlier? When I’m not working, I’m Daddy. I can’t leave her here for months and call her now and then. She won’t even know who I am when I get back.”

“She’ll get sick, she’ll be exposed to strange people, she could be harmed…”

“God damn it!” I yelled and then quieted myself as other diners started looking at me strangely. “She’s my daughter and she’s going wherever I go. Got it?” I glared at Heidi as I finished the last of my dinner. Heidi certainly knew how to get under my skin, and how to get there quickly.

Bec pushed her hands out, providing a barrier between Heidi and myself. “That’s enough children. People are staring.”

“But she…” I started.

“And he…” Heidi began.

“There is no tour set in stone yet. Let’s deal with things one day at a time. Before anything else we have a record to finish, a single to release and a show to plan. Oh, and boat races to attend.” Bec studied both of us with a level gaze. “Let’s get those over with first.”

Heidi and I both nodded mutely.

“The very last thing I will say on the subject right now is that Nick is Dani’s father and his wishes need to be respected.” I smirked at Heidi until Bec slapped my hand. “Certainly, if his actions are bringing danger to Dani, something can be said. But I can’t say that he has done that so far.” I smirked again, only to get my hand slapped once more. “Are we clear?” Heidi and I nodded again.

“This is going to be fun.” Bec muttered.