"Damn it!"

Dani stopped her crying for a minute. She looked at me with those big, blue eyes. Then she opened her mouth and screamed louder than I'd ever heard any human being scream before.

"All right, all right! Hold on, it's all here somewhere. Just..let...me..."

I set her Dani down on the couch. She wailed indignantly, louder, if possible. I flipped on the light and located the diaper bag, a diaper and the baby wipes.

"What else do we need?" I looked over to Dani, who was now waving her hands in the air and turning quite red.

"Okay, okay! Nothing! I get the message! We're ready!"

I walked on my knees over to the couch and unzipped her soaked sleeper. I tugged it off her gently and tried to hold her legs still so I could take off the diaper too.

"C'mon, help me out just a little bit? Please?"

Dani wasn't having any of it and continued to kick and scream. I finally got the diaper off and the new one put on, kind of, and wiped her down so that she was semi clean and she was still howling. I peeled my shirt off before I picked her up, then just rocked her gently in my arms.

"What's the matter? Huh? What's wrong with my girl?"

I stopped. My girl? What in hell was I saying? I refused to believe she was mine. We still had to do the test. She couldn't be mine. It just wasn't...

I thought back for a moment on how I was living my life a year ago. It was totally possibly Dani was my child. I did some seriously stupid shit back then. Drinking, drugs, fucked a ton of girls. And I was out of it half the time, so who knows how many times I actually wore a condom. I behaved like a stupid ass. I was trying hard to get better. I'd managed to stop the drugs and toned down the drinking, but I still enjoyed the club scene. And what man in his right mind could deny the women? But last year...yeah...last year was totally messed up. Dani woke me out of my memories with another sharp cry.

"I'm sorry Dani." I hugged her tightly to me. "I hope to hell you aren't mine, I mean, you're cute and all but I don't know how to look after you. I can't do you right. If you are mine, I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this. You didn't ask for this shit."

Dani had slowed down to a hiccup/cough/cry. I wandered out to the fridge and grabbed a bottle. Needed to nuke it, I figured, so I paced the room with her while we waited. Once it was warm we headed back to the living room and the comfort of the recliner. Dani was whimpering and I pushed the bottle into her mouth as soon as we sat down. She spit it out and wailed again, her face almost beet red.

"What? What's wrong?"

I tried again. No luck.

"It's your milk, what's wrong with it?"

I twisted the top off and took a swig. Blech. It tasted awful, but it was also hot. Probably too hot for Dani. I set her down again and ran to the kitchen to add cold milk to it. It was when I was twisting the cap back on that I noticed the piece of tape stuck to the side, with writing on it. I held it closer to read.

"Breast milk/Aug-29-02"

Breast milk? I dropped the bottle and spit in the sink. I drank breast milk. Blech.

I think Dani gave up on me. She wasn't crying any more, but, man, could she pout. We sat down in the chair and tried again. She took it much more favorable this time, downing the whole bottle. I knew enough to hold her up and burp her. I retained some knowledge of my brother and sisters babyhood. She let out a loud belch and I laughed. She rivaled me with that one. Once we got that over with, she sighed peacefully and balled her little fists close to her face. I covered her up again and snuggled her close. Just like before she drifted off to sleep easily.

"You're a good girl Dani." I ran my hand over her soft hair. "But are you my girl?"