"Well now Nick, you were kind of. Granted, that was at the beginning." Kevin was quick to point out, thank God.  

"The record company asked me to come in! We were done the tour!"  

"The record company? Or 'your' management?" AJ sneered.  

"AJ! Let him explain! Nick, why don't you start at the beginning. For those of us that are confused." Howie smiled sincerely at me. "No one will interrupt you again, I promise."  

"You know I've had a solo contract." The guys nodded. "The record company asked me if I wanted to come in. We were done tour, I was bored, so I said yes. You guys were all doing your own things, so I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. I showed them some stuff I wrote, did a demo, they said they loved it and asked me to record a CD."  

"Did you think about us at all during this?"  

"Of course I did, Brian. Just because I'm with different management and because I'm putting out a CD doesn't mean I don't want to be in the group anymore. I love you guys, you're my brothers. You know that."  

"You haven't been to quick to show up at any group functions, 'brother'." AJ was slumped in his chair, his eyes glaring at me.  

"There haven't been any group functions to show up at!" I retorted. "You've all been doing your own stuff!"  

"Admit it, Nick, you just think you're better than us, all of us!" AJ stood up and pointed his finger at me.  

"I...."  

"You can get yourself clean without rehab, father children, record your own CD without us, you can do it all, can't you Wonder Boy?"  

"I never said that." I was angry now. "I care, damn it! I still want the group to work and grow and be successful! But I'm not going to sit here with my thumb up my ass while you guys get to do everything you want to do! That's not fair! I'm not 13 anymore, you can't tell me what to do or how to live my life like you used to!"  

"Keep it to yourself, Nick. Some of us just don't care anymore."  

AJ grabbed his cap and sunglasses and headed for the front door.  

"AJ, let me explain. Just listen to me!" I knocked my chair over as I got up to run after him. "I want to do this! For me! Why is it fair for you all to be able to do whatever you want and I can't?"  

"Sarah, we're going." AJ barked to his fiancee. The group of women looked up, startled at AJ's tone of voice.  

"AJ! We need to work this out!" I crossed my arms over my chest and stood at the door blocking his exit. "Why are you so angry at me?"  

"Why am I so angry at you? Do you really want to know?"  

"Yes!" I yelled back. Dani gave a little wail and my eyes wavered from AJ to my daughter.  

"I know you haven't changed any. You might be off the drugs and high and mighty now, but I know you. What's gonna happen to that baby when you slide into the gutter again? I know you're still drinking and partying like a God damn fool. Yeah, maybe you aren't going out right now, but when you start drinking again and popping pills again and fucking anything on two legs? What's going to happen to Dani then? You don't give a fuck about her!"  

"I love her AJ, she's the top thing in my life."  

"Is she? I thought your CD was. But she'll get you lots of attention.  She'll be a nice publicity gimmick, won't she?"  

"She's not a gimmick!"  

"Who did you fuck to get a CD recorded? I can't get one, Brian can't! Who'd you fuck Nick?"  

My mouth dropped open in shock. All the energy must have left me at that point because I couldn't think of anything else to say. I lost the fight.  

"Let's go Sarah. Bye all, nice to see you and Nick...?"  

I looked up warily, not trusting him now.  

"I've heard your song..it sucks!" With that, AJ slammed the door shut in my face.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

Gradually I heard the murmurs from my other guests after AJ's departure. I knew they were staring at me, wondering and waiting for me to say something. But I couldn't. What could you say to what AJ had accused me of? Dani was crying. I'm sure the yelling had upset her. I took her away from Leighanne and cuddled her close, nuzzling my face to hers.  

"I love you Dani, don't you listen to anything he said. I love you so much. You're my world now." I whispered in her ear as I hugged her tight. "You're the most important thing in my life."  

"Nick?"  

Kevin was tapping on my shoulder. I ignored him.  

"Nick, let Kris take her and we can finish up quick."  

I was crying openly now and I shook my head. "No, just go."  

"Nick, AJ is wrong. Let's talk about it."  

I looked up, tears still dripping down my face. "I love her."  

"I know you do. I can tell. Come on, we'll be quick."  

Reluctantly, I handed her back to Kris. She smiled sympathetically at me.  

"You'll be a good father Nick. Anyone can see how much you adore her."  

"Thanks Kris." I nodded and made my way back to the dining room and the shambles of our meeting.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

"Nick, what AJ said...he's wrong."  

"I just want to do something for me. I've been giving everything to this group since I was 12. I've dreamed of this for so long. It was a dream come true when Jive offered it to me. What AJ said...I would never...God!" I banged my hand on the table.  

"I think he's jealous." Brian said quietly.  

"That doesn't give him the right to say those things, though." Howie protested. "Just because he can't get a solo deal. How would he feel if the situation was reversed? If Nick said those things to him?"  

"Well I can understand, in a way. It's frustrating when Nick is offered everything."  

I looked at Brian in disbelief.  

"No offense Nick. It's not really your fault."  

"Not really my fault?" I was trying to keep my voice low.  

"It's media, management. Maybe it would be better if we were all together still."  

I held my tongue. Another jibe at my solo status. Evidently AJ wasn't the only jealous one.  

"Alright, Nick doesn't really have control over that stuff. Settle down." Kevin stared pointedly at Brian.  

I smiled gratefully.  

"So Nick, let us know what is going on. What do you want from this? Any schedule at all?"  

I folded my hands and looked at them as I gathered my thoughts.  

"I want to release a couple of singles. I want to tour. Just once. There's no schedule set yet, but we're talking."  

"And then?" Kevin raised his eyebrow at me.  

"I want to record with you guys again. I want to sing in the group."  

"What if this goes well, is successful? You'll have to record another CD."  

"I'll deal with that when it happens. I just want to live in the right now, you know? And right now that is what I want to do. I'm just asking for a year."  

Kevin nodded and smiled. "Sounds fair to me. What do you guys think? Can we let him do that?"  

"I don't see a problem." Howie grinned.  

"Will you come in for group things if we need you?" Brian asked.  

"Of course. I love you guys. How many times do I have to say that?"  

"Alright!" Kevin stood up and held out his hand. I shook it and he pulled me into a hug. "I'm behind you bro."  

Brian and Howie and I exchanged hugs and handshakes too. I don't think things were completely resolved yet, but they were better. And that was good.  

"We'll deal with AJ, alright? Everything will be fine." Kevin assured me as we walked into the living room.  

Dani was still holding court with the ladies, making them all smile and giggle at her. They were treating her like a princess and Dani was eating it up.  

"She's so wonderful Nick. I hope our child is such a peaceful baby." Leighanne said wistfully.  

"I'm sure it will be." I smiled at her. "I mean look at you two! I'm surprised Dani is so good with me as a father!" Everyone laughed.  

"Have a good night, Nick. Get Miss Dani to bed now."  

"Thanks for understanding guys. You don't know how much it means to me."  

"No problem Nick. It's all cool."