It is with a heavy heart that this writer informs the public that today our world lost two of its favourite sons. In a yet to be confirmed incident the Hussein Brothers Qusay and Uday have been killed. The brothers first made famous for their role as twins in the Disney produced sitcom 'Full House' will be greatly missed by their fans. In recent years the brothers have established themselves as a mini empire their current workload included a new sitcom which was set to go into pre-production in August, a recording contract, clothing line, and exercise video. A spokeswoman for Kmart said that retail giant would continue to carry the twins clothing line (including trainer bras and bike shorts) until end of contract in July 2004 at which point the future would be discussed with the Hussein estate. There is little doubt however that the legacy and heart warming good times that followed the Hussein brothers wherever they seemed to pop up will be remembered for years to come.
In other news, Katherine Hepburn, Barry White and Bob Hope also died.
01/02/2003 The 2002 Winners
The 2002 game has come to an end in a mess of tension and tears. In December it looked as if soul singer Barry White was on the verge of departing our world. This would have meant Death Game player Vicky McClelland would knock crowd favourite Nick Caruana from the top of the leader board. Although Ms McClelland is a well liked player her popularity stats haven't even come close to those of Mr Caruana and there was a revolt amongst Death Games fans. One such fan Neville Silverwood went as far as offering a kidney to Mr White, unfortunately they were not a blood match. This lead to a national campaign being arranged by other Caruana fans and supported by the Today Show on channel 9 to find a kidney match for Mr White. Ms McClelland objected to the interference sighting rule vi assisting in the demise of any celeb qualifies for instant dismissal. However the objection was overturned with officials ruling that helping in the recovery or participating in the betterment of a celebs life is not a breach of Death Game rules. Ms McClelland said after the hearing "Why couldn't they just let him die? Why couldn't they just leave him the fuck alone, those fucking little turds ruined me, i really needed this, I mean I really really needed it and now i'm fucked. What's the point!". Thankfully Mr White is still with us and on the road to recovery after Mr Caruana donated his own kidney to postpone the old mans life for a least another 6-8 months.
And now the Winners:
1st Place: Nick Caruana (68 points / 1 death)
2nd Place: Vicky McClelland (58 points / 1 death)
3rd Place: Eden Fletcher (25 points / 2 deaths)
08/09/2002 Death Game Commiserates
Death Game officials have been moved and inspired by a current email campaign which requests "On Wednesday, September 11, 2002 everyone in the World who will be driving a motor vehicle is asked to drive with their headlights on during daylight hours". The intention being to pay respect to the victims of that day, and show solidarity and support for the men and women of the Allied Forces.
Death Game believes this is a brilliant idea and we have decided to start our own campaign of respect and commiseration. The first day of repect is September 12 the anniversary of South African activist Steve Biko's death, players are asked that on the night of September 12 they drive without their headlights on displaying solidarity with our black brothers with a black out. Also September 23 is the five month anniversary of Linda Lovelaces death, Linda was the star of "Deepthroat" and on this day players are asked to drive with their fly undone.
14/05/2002 Ruth Cracknell is Dead at 76
This is pleasing news for Death Game player Eden Fletcher who selected Cracknell and whose only previous score was for the death of the Queen Mother which landed him 1 point. It seems this 1 point led to alot of harrassment from fellow player Vicky McClelland currently running second in the game on 58 points. Mr Fletcher said Ms McClelland has been a "real dick ever since she scored big for Princess Margaret's death". It seems Ms McClelland when in the company of Mr Fletcher has been calling herself the 'Death Game Master' and to qoute Mr Fletcher treating Death Game likes it's the "World Cup". Mr Fletcher told Death Game "She now refuses to perform household duties, such as cooking and cleaning up after herself, stating loudly 'The Death Game Master has more important things to concern herself with'". The extra 24 points have placed Mr Fletcher much closer to Ms McClelland's score and he hopes this will stop the pompous parade that has been going on, he said "I've tried to talk to her, but she's just determined to be a jackass". Well done Mr Fletcher.
31/03/2002 The Queen Mum is Dead
Queen Elizabeth Angela Marguerite Windsor, the Queen Mother, has died at the age of 101. She was Queen for fewer than 15 years, during a period which is now beginning to pass out of living memory. Yet her personal popularity continued through 50 years of widowhood, unimpaired by changing public reactions to her children and grandchildren, and their mostly broken marriages.
However whether points will be awarded for her death is under speculation, early this morning Death Game was contacted by Sandra Cohen from British newspaper 'The Sun'. Ms Cohen has been covering the Royal Family for eight years, 3 three years at rival paper 'The Mirror' and the last five years at 'The Sun'. Six months ago Cohen was contacted by a royal insider known as Mr. X, who made the astonishing claim that the Queen Mother has been dead for two years. Cohen at first dismissed the claims as the Queen Mother has made numerous public appearances in the past two years, Mr. X said that all these appearances were staged events and someone was simply dragging Mrs. Windsor's corpse around "Weekend at Bernie's Style". Cohen began too look further into these claims and is now of the opinion that they may be true, talking to Cohen she mentioned that "Often when people met the Queen Mother they would notice she smelt of gin". Cohen believes that gin was being used to maintain the corpse for public appearances, she's convinced "The Queen Mum's corpse was placed in a pool of gin every night, and the gin acted like a pickling devise, keeping the body soft and life like".
Death Game asked Ms Cohen why the Royal Family would undertake such an unusual action, Cohen said "The Queen Mum is so popular, nobody likes the Queen she's cold hearted and mechanical, Prince Phillip is a racist and a homophobe, Prince Charles is an idiot, Prince Andrew is a wimp, Prince Edward is gay, and Princess Anne looks and smells like a horse. The Queen Mum and Prince William are the only ones who are adored by the public".
Ms Cohen has promised to keep Death Game up-to-date with her investigations, however until proven otherwise Death Game will issue points to player Mr. Eden Fletcher for selecting the Queen Mother. As she was 101 years old Mr. Fletcher receives 1 point.