Nate's Bluesy House of Golgotha!!!

Everyone out there knows how I feel about television in general but that will be for another column in the Greatest Guest Columns of All Time! Anyway let me start by saying that I retract all negative statements made by myself or guests about Zelda 64. It is by far and away one of the best games available for the aenemic Nintendo 64 platform.

What can I say! I never get videogames as presents because nobody (including myself) knows what I want to play half of the damn time. So the weekend after Christmas I went out and found myself a copy of Zelda 64 and I have probably spent a good solid 14 hours on it so far. I like it. My former postings on the inability to skip text were inaccurate. You may skip forward text that you have read earlier in the game. Although in my opinion the most important factor in this game is the feeling of homecoming.

That's right "Homecoming" is the only way to describe this game (as well as the recently mentioned Metal Gear Solid). This game "feels" like Zelda, it's like stepping back into Links boots way back in the day. The control and progression feels right. This game does not dissappoint me in any way, so far at least. The only REAL change in the game is the time shifting aspect, which is a convenient and unobtrusive way of prolonging gameplay. We get to start the game as the squat and eternally young Link and time travel forward to a time where he is a teenager and looks more like his Zelda 2 appearance. This game is beautifully done and well worth the entrance admission. If you have one of the most overly hyped and horribly supported platforms in existence (namely the N64) then do not hesitate in this purchase, it is well worth it!

Is anyone else sick to death of Tomb Raider type games yet? I know I am. Same engine, same character, a crappily presented 3rd person view, and awkward action sequences. Theses games are seemingly a "look and see the levels I designed" type of game. I want action and suspense. I wanna care about the on screen avatar I am controlling, I wanna know how they feel and feel like I am in charge of their actions. The only time you know what Ms. Croft is feeling is during short cinema scenes inserted just to tie levels together into a somewhat reckognizable fashion. And speaking of fashion, does anyone else think that "New Outfits" do NOT qualify as a reason to buy another game? Please, Eidos, who are you aiming this game at? If it ain't broke don't fix it is the motto of the day, huh? That must explain why Mortal Kombat 3 (and it's unending list of upgrades and enhancements) did so well. Please, Please overhaul the Raider experience or else you will find yourself wallowing in the same mud pit that mired so many other great video game franchises. PS, really crappy 3D breasts can only carry a game so far!!

Speaking of the overly rehashed Tomb Raider series, let me tell you what classic I would like to see remade into exactly that style (3rd person action/adventure, with a HEAVY emphasis on ACTION). Bionic Commando. Whaddya think? Let me know. Imagine having the grappling arm and fully aimable weaponry as well as 3D levels and bosses that blaze across your screen in true CAPCOM fashion! Who could resist the siren call of such a game? Nobody is your answer plain and simple! Everyone says to me "Well hey dude look at what 3D did to Mega Man!" well let me tell ya that Mega Legends was made for a platform that is simply becoming in, this day and age of poly pushing machines, very dated. I mean come on ?100,000? polys a second? Who can really make a shining example of what was envisioned at a games conception with such restraints? It is becoming painfully apparent that the PSX is not able to push the envelope like it did in '95 that was 4 years ago and it's time for a change (to quote one of Stu Harts kids). Think for a moment, dream if you will, true three dimensional realtime with interactive NPCz who have a Half Life level of AI and you with a gut bomb of firepower and the coolest arm this side of the space shuttle! I'm tellin ya when the Dreamcast hits here a coupla games that can realize what you were just fantasizing about with bring it to the forefront of gaming in a hurry and hopefully change all the preconceived notions that people who play suffer from on a daily basis.

Well that's about it for me today, I'll try and drop a coupla more Brain Cells on ya real soon. As I always have loved to say... "It's been Surreal!"

The Everlasting Dawg of Doom
N8