~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The Voice Of Dead Silence
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THOUGHTS ~ Victim�s POV
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Just when you think you know your friends, it backfires on you.
To them, they don�t care how you feel when they do something wrong.
And the finger gets pointed elsewhere... anywhere but themselves for blame.
Believe me, I�ve been there.
I tried to be the peacemaker as I always had been but it was too late.
I was already the victim... they blamed me.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

So this is it.
It�s over.
And they act like I don�t exist.
Like each other never existed.
It was one less to a unanimous vote.
I tried... I really tried to keep us together.
But I gave up.
They wouldn�t listen.
What was the use, you know?
That one decision I made is one I�ll always regret, though.
I said, �Yes.�

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�Why do you have to be so selfish? Do you even care about the fans?�
OK... so I haven�t always been great but shouldn�t they have been a bit more understanding?
I mean, I had just lost a sister for Christ�s sake!
What did they expect from me?
Forget it ever happened and continue my life like it had no effect on me what so ever?
That�s bull shit.

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�Why should I bother listening to you... you don�t even care about us...�
Of course I cared about them!
They are my brothers... why wouldn�t I?
I put up with them for almost ten years now so like I said... why wouldn�t I care about them?
They have no right to say how they think I feel or how they think I am but don�t bother to hear me out.
If they had listened... they would�ve known the truth.
They would�ve know why I had to stay back home a day too long.
But no...

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�The break-up... it�s all your fault.�

Yes... it�s all my fault.
I was the one that allowed it.
I shouldn�t have said that.
But I had my reasons.
I wouldn�t have been able to handle it all in the near future.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

No, I shouldn�t be putting myself down like this.
I did the right thing... I know I did.
God, I�m still in shock as I write this...
I have AIDS.

FOUR     TWO

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