EXPLOSION;; just another teen blog

December 12, 2004
time: 4:21 pm (EST)
mood: does "I wanna die" explain my mood?
listening to: Dido - "Here With Me"
eating: nothing
talking to: no one
clickies: zero

Why does my ex want to ruin my life? I was having a nice day, but he just came to ruin it. It all started when I got on aim, I was quite busy. He talked to me and said he was all sad and such, I wanted to make him feel better, so I hurried what I was doing. But in the end, he told me he was going on msn, even after I told him I couldn't login onto it at the moment. Few hours later, he was online and I asked me if I was angry, and I said I was. Of course I was! He says that I didn't care if he's down and that I didn't show it, that I should have done something. Well I tried! But he retreated to msn, where I couldn't help! He's can be a stupid dumbass sometimes!

Now we won't talk to eachother...ever. I didn't want it to come to this, but he obviously did... In fact, it was his suggestion. The only reason I really talk online is to talk to him, or wait for him. Sure I say that I'm there for my "friends", but its really just to talk to him. I would have said I didn't want him to block and delete my contact(s) forever, but that would make it seem like I'm the weaker person. So yes, I told him it was alright for him to get rid of all contact with me...even though that wasn't what I wanted. I was angry, and he was being a bastard! Now who do I talk to? No one on msn really talks to me (except every once in a blue moon), on aim only my school friends talk to me (and they're rarely online, except for Daniel) everyone else on aim ignores my presence (127 on aim don't know who I am).

I was happy today, but like always, he had to ruin it. If he would have waited, none of this would had happened. So I guess I might as well uninstall my messangers, since I won't really need to use them anymore.

note: *IF* my contact page is up, don't use my msn or aim username to contact me, because I will pretty much get rid of them. The only contact thinger I will use for now is e-mail.

updated/added: pages! Check 'em out.

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December 6, 2004
time: 7:16 pm (EST)
mood: ...pissed
listening to: BoA - "Duvet (Techno Remix)"
eating: nothing
talking to: my ex -__-
clickies: uno dos

[EDIT-- 8:01 pm] My ex and I pretty much resolved the conflict... So I'm not angry with him anymore, but you can read the entry to know what happened and how I was feeling [/EDIT]

I'm ferking pissed! Nothing happended until last Saturday. My ex and I were getting along fine, but nooo, he just to say that he's going to have sex with someone else. Do any of you have any idea how much that hurt? Even if he was joking, I waited online for him to take it back. I waited 2 friggin' hours. He didn't IM me once, and his user was online. But only today he says sorry. Pfft. He knew he said something critical, but he didn't even bother taking it back (it was a joke). I don't even think its a joke now, if it was a joke he would have told me after I got all sad and started crying. No, but he wants to wait 2 days later to tell me it was joke. It wasn't a fucking joke.

Well yesterday was pretty good, it was a little relief compared to the day before. We went to get our christmas tree. It was rather fun, we saw all these pritty trees! My mom intended on getting a small one, since she didn't know how much room it would take. In the end, she ended up getting a big tree! Its really pretty, much prettier than all the trees we've had in the past. We also decorated it really nice. By the end of the day, I didn't talk to my ex, I didn't even want to look at his username. Turning on that computer made me pissed all over again!

Now its Monday night, and he finally said sorry for the cruel joke. Wow! Well guess what? I don't believe it! He can take his poor apology and stick it up his arse. It really hurts, and he knew that. I would never make a joke like that against him, especially after the break up!!!! It was wrong of him to attack me with a joke like that, even when he knows how sensitive I am to things like that!

Thats everyone for your comments, its really appreciated! Btw, I got most of the content pages up. I'm too pissed and lazy to make the others. Deal with it.

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December 1, 2004
time: 9:14 pm (EST)
mood: chipper
listening to: Bjork - "Unison"
eating: 'nuffin
talking to: Andy
clickies: zero

Yay! A Fresh new blog! AND a fresh new layout! I simply adored the last layout, but I felt it was getting pretty old. This one matches the mood I feel at the moment. The current layout features BJORK my favorite pop singer. I was planning to use this layout once I got hosted, but its been a whole month using the last layout... Things need to change. ^_^;

Anyways, yesterday I went over to my mom's boyfriend's family. They were very nice, and I was introduced to all of them. I think my mom and her boyfriend might get married in the future or something... they have been introducing eachother to their families, thats a sign of marriage I guess. I won't get into it though. I just don't think I'm ready to trust another person like that any more. I've had 2 dads already, my biological one, and my ex step dad. Not to mention I had lots of break-ups, and my most devastating one about a month ago. I just don't think I'm ready to trust anyone for some time...

I might sound all sad and gloomy, but I'm quite chipper. I'm moving on, LOTS! I hardly think about my ex nowadays. Thats good. No, thats GREAT. I think I might even have a crush on someone, but I'm not telling who!

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