My Gosh Can This Be Me?
I'm sitting on the wharf with my dog by my side,
Feeding the ducks and watching the tide,
Gazing across the way, breathing fresh air,
Filled with confidence, void of all fear.
My Gosh, Can This Be Me?
I briskly walk with my little dog around the two mile pond,
He's four years old, so gentle, we've formed a special bond,
I call "Hello" to people, they call "Hello" right back,
I quicken my step, I start to hum as my feet cover the rocky track.
And I think..My Gosh, Can This Be Me?
Now I'm at the city mall walking with head held high,
Going up and down the escalators while looking everyone straight in the eye,
Stopping to look in store windows, going inside to browse,
Fingering the materials, finally settling on a blouse.
My Gosh, Can This Be Me?
Shopping at the market, standing by the chicken,
Taking the time to really look, not fearing my heart will quicken,
Touring the aisles with my face all smiles, I reach for a tin of Spam,
I look at the ingredients, it IS spiced meat and ham
And pictures of me racing through my shopping come to mind,
Tears fill my eyes and overflow and temporarily I am blind,
And once again I ask myself,
My Gosh, Can This Be Me?
Waiting for my name to be called in the doctor's waiting room,
I've been there an hour, what a hell of a place, the atmosphere reeks of gloom,
I'm there to get a flu shot, I had pneumonia nine months ago,
My name is called, I sigh with relief, then rise and off I go.
My Gosh, Can This Be Me?
And at the bank I stand in line with people in front and in back,
My first time there in twenty-five years, I'm not taking any flak,
I talk to the man in front of me, I complain about the service,
And realize that I feel quite calm, there's no sign of my feeling nervous,
My Gosh, Can This Be Me?
And one last thing before I go, I just have to tell you this,
I'm on the bus, hanging onto the rail, so anxious I want to...hiss,
But this will pass, I'll see it through, I ring the bell, I'm there,
And I walk off the bus not looking back as I hear it shift into gear,
My Gosh, Can This Be Me?
Yes it's me, indeed it is 'tho I can't believe it myself,
That's me at the mall, by the pond, on the bus and searching the market's shelves,
It took a long time, like twenty-five years to be able to go alone,
To take my time, to see with clear eyes, and not to want to run home.
Please don't give up hope, I beg you, please don't,
Keep that tiny spark burning away,
I know that's not easy, you'll shed many tears,
But one day you'll hear yourself say...
MY GOSH, CAN THIS BE ME?
God bless you all.
Eileen Power
Copyright November 1, 2000
