| Sailor Beware! is the first
of three comedy plays by Philip King and Falkland L.
Cary. The Hornett household is a
hive of activity in preparation for Shirley's marriage to
Albert Tufnell, A.B. He arrives with his best man earlier
than expected and from that point on it seems that he can
do nothing right.
Emma Hornett, Shirley's mother, likes
to put her foot down and organise and she certainly keeps
her husband Henry and his sister Edie in check. Can she
do the same with Albert? Or does she try it once too
often?
Shenley Leisure Centre
Saturday 21 & Sunday 22 July 2001 |
| Rita Lack |
Hilary Lane |
| Edie Hornett |
Libby Hawthorn |
| Emma Hornett |
Joan Walker |
| Florrie Lack |
Jean Stratford (Saturday)
Philippa Hawthorn (Sunday) |
| Henry Hornett |
Pat Moynihan |
| Albert Tufnell,
A.B. |
Micky Brown |
| Carnoustie Bligh,
A.B. |
Michael Hoeben |
| Daphne Pink |
Shirley Jones |
| Shirley Hornett |
Karlie Brand |
| Reverend Oliver
Purefoy |
Barry Hardwick |
| Front
of House |
Frank
Walker |
| Lighting |
Frank
Walker |
| Props |
Hilary
Lane |
| Costume |
Group
Wardrobe |
| Refreshments |
Joanne
Pennant |
| Prompt |
Valerie
Brown (Saturday)
Jean Stratford (Sunday) |
| Producer |
Joan
Walker |
See also Watch It
Sailor!, the second play
of this trilogy, in 1992.
"It's only me, Emma. Gettin' all polished up for
tomorrow, eh, Edie? Oh, you just having a cuppa? I
wouldn't have disturbed you if I'd known."
Mrs Lack pays a neighbourly visit.
"Boy, what a peach! You're the best man, so Daphne's
yours, all yours."
- "Just a minute, Albert. I
understook to be your best man on one condition - there
was to be no putting me into poseetions of embarrassment
wi' young wimmin."
"Oh, my things!"
Albert offers to help by carrying Daphne's case.
"You'll all have to help yourselves. We don't stand
on ceremony here. Everybody 'appy?"
"...For the sake of Auld Lang Syne."
Mr Hornett returns from The White Hart with
Carnoustie and Albert.
Carnoustie and Albert are settling down to sleep
in the front room, when Edie walks in.
In a flash, Carnoustie whips the covers away, exposing
Albert.
"This must be a sad day for you, Mr 'Ornett."
- "It is. Rosie the Ferret's just lost one of her
young ones. Look."
"Do I look alright, Dad?"
- "Too late to do anything about it now if you
don't. Come on."
The Hornetts head for the church.
"You let me go to the church,
knowing that you weren't going too?"
- "Yes I did."
"I came to offer comfort to Shirley, but it would
appear that I might be able to offer something more
concrete. I should like to have a word with these two
young people."
Rev Purefoy arrives at the Hornett household.
"I was brought up in an Orphanage, so I've never had
any real "home life". Since I got to know
Shirl, I've only had two long leaves and both times I've
stayed here. But if what I've seen in this house is
honest-to-God "home life" then give me the
Salvation Army."
Albert explains why he didn't show up at church.
"I've always had to manage other people cos they've
never been able to manage themselves.
Mr Purefoy, am I too old to reform?"
- "Mrs Hornett, it's never too late to mend."
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