(Cameras show Jester as he walks out of his dressing room in full regalia. He smiles at the approaching crew.)
Death Jester: Well ladies and Gentlemen, its time for the feature presentation of the night. Its time for the clown to do some get down on one Wrec Hannibal.
(Jester pauses a moment to think.)
Death Jester: Welp I guess I'll see you in 1..2..3..
(He waves at the crew and walks away towards the arena floor. The picture switches to the backstage area and we are standing outside the office of the NEW Commissioner, Diamond Mine. We open the door and as we enter, Diamond Mine is dressed in a navy blue Armani Suit and is sitting behind an oak desk. On the desk is Diamond Mine's referee shirt for tonight's main event and a glass of water. Diamond Mine has a smile on his face as he begins to speak.)
Diamond Mine: What a wonderful night, my return to Pay Per View!!! I can already hear the money rolling into my bank account. But that is not really here nor there. Tonight is the night where I make another impact on New England Wrestling. Tonight, I ensure that everything goes down as it is supposed to between Deadman and Joesph Rival. But before I get into that match, I really need to take some time and address Thanatos.
(Diamond Mine pauses for a moment and takes a drink from his water and then continues.)
Diamond Mine: Thanatos, lets just stop beating around the bush. We both know each other's secrets, we both have our spins on different situations. We could sit here and go back and forth with who said this, who did that, and contradict each other until the end of time. For example, I could say that you tell lies as well, you said last Monday night that you had too much invested in New England Wrestling to leave, and then later you say that if you get fired you would have no problem in going to another promotion. Well Thanny, which is it??? See, we could go on like this forever, but nothing would ever really be said. What I propose instead is that we stop all the bullshit, and get right down to what is at the heart of the matter. You want the Horsemen back because YOU KNOW that they are no longer yours, that you gave them up a long time ago!
(Diamond Mine gets up from his chair and walks around front of his desk and continues.)
Diamond Mine: The real Horsemen are mine, there can be no question about this, you gave them to me when you retired, and I took the Horsemen name and made it my own, redefined it, made the name mean what it should have always meant, the ABSOLUTE BEST IN THE BUSINESS!!! I took the mantle and did that, something you never did and now look at the levels you've sunk to. You're making rediculous claims about how you brought Pagan into the group and not me because he's happier in this incarnation than in mine??? Do you even realize how stupid that is Thanatos, just listen to the words. What that says is that even though Death Incarnate, Evil, and yourself recruited me into the group, that I could say that I brought myself into the group when I was running it because I was happier then??? Listen to your words Thanatos before they betray you yet again.
(Diamond Mine returns back to his seat behind his desk and continues.)
Diamond Mine: So Thanatos, goodluck tonight against Blackbird 13, I know you're going to need it. And if I even see you, or your new bestest buddy Frank anywhere near ringside before, during, or after the main event tonight, I will not hesitate to fire your ass on the spot!!!
(Diamond Mine pauses for a moment to have another drink of water and then continues.)
Diamond Mine: And now onto why I am here tonight, Deadman versus Joesph Rival for the NEW Heavyweight Championship Title. By the time the three of us enter the ring tonight, I will have made the rules very clear to both of you. I want a clean and fair fight tonight, the Heavyweight Title deserves that much. Deadman, I am looking in your direction. I know you, I know how you like to cheat at any opporunity you get and you don't have a problem stabbing anyone in the back when you get the chance. So I will be watching you like a hawk, and if I see anything even somewhat suspect, I will have no hesitation to disqualify you. OH, and by the way Deadman. Don't think that you can save your title tonight by getting yourself disqualified because if you do get yourself disqualified, I will award the title to Joseph!!! I'm the commissioner Deadman, if you don't like it, go tell someone who cares because I certainly will not. As for your referee for tonight, Abark was supposed to do so himself, but due to the earlier attack by Harley Clarkson he isn't going to be able to do so...But don't worry, we have just as big of a surprise for you two.....Tonight is the night, everything is going to happen just as it is supposed to, I guarantee you that!!! See you later tonight boys, now get the hell out of my office.
(Diamond Mine sits back in his chair and has another drink of water as we leave his office.)
SaraAnne: Well its time Jason... To put the NEW in NeWA..!
Jason: I couldn't have said it better... The Sadistic Clown Death Jester steps up and represents NEW, as he tries to dethrone the Rogue Champion Wrec Hannibal.
Brian: Question is... Can the Court Jester become King of the Cruiser's..?
SaraAnne: That was ALMOST witty, did someone write that for you?
(The NeWA Logo flashes on the Jumbotron)
Brian: What the hell...
(A heavy guitar riff plays across the Arena Speakers and a olive skinned man dressed in a suit walks down to ringside. Walking right to the announcer's booth, he shakes hands with a confused Brian, Jason, and Sara, explaining that he's a NeWA Representitive.)
NeWA Rep: Hola amigo's... As a representitive of the NeWA, I have been sent to make sure nothing taints what should be an epic Cruiserweight battle. My name is... Jesus Rodriguez.
(The NEW Staff welcomes him, handing him a headset as they make room for him at the announcing table.)
Brian: Maybe you should sit down there by Jason... I don't want to jinx us or anything but we all know what happens to the Spanish announcer's table.
(Pyscho Circus by Kiss begins to play as an assortment of balloons begin to fall from the ceiling.)
Jesus: This match up is for the NeWA Cruiserweight championship... And is scheduled for one fall.
(The most evil looking of clowns dressed in a court jester's type costume wheel's out on a unicycle.)
Jesus: First making his way from Rome GA... Weighing One Hundred and Sixty Five Pounds, and standing in at Five feet Five inches...
Brian: The Death Jester made quick work of his last opponent to get this shot... Lets see if he can do the same this week.
Jesus: The Challenger... DEATH JESTER..! (Echo's) Jester..!
(Jester rolls forward on his Unicycle somersaulting off, and rolling to his feet as he gets a nice pop from the capacity crowd.)
V/O: The Wrec is in Full Effect..!
Jesus: And now the champion... Not affiliatied with any NeWA alliances... He hails from parts unknown...
(An unimpressive Wrec Hannibal walks out to a chorus of boo's from the fans.)
Brian: That's the NeWA champ..?
SaraAnne: He looks a bit out of shape.
(Wrec tries to suck in his stomach a bit but gives up the futile attempt as he lumbers to the ring.)
Jason: A washboard stomach... Only it has a load of laundry in it... If you get my meaning.
Jesus: WREC HANNIBAL.
(Hannibal rolls under the bottom rope and almost gets stuck. Grabbing the ring ropes he hauls himself up.)
SaraAnne: Both wrestler's walk out to the center of the ring... They're eyeing each other up.
(The bell rings to signal the start of the match. Hannibal despite his out of shape appearance lashes out with a Knee to Jester's mid-section. While in the bent over position, Hannibal floor's the clown with a huge clubbing Forearm that knocks Jester to the mat.)
Brian: The champ gains a early advantage, but he walks away from Jester as he show boats for the fans.
(Heel Heat from the fans.)
Jason: Jester back to his feet, and Hannibal turns to meet him with a Collar and Elbow hook up.
Brian: Wrec gets the advantage out of the hook up turning it into a Side Headlock. Jester counter's pushing Hannibal into the ropes.
(Death Jester bends over setting up for a Back Drop but Hannibal stops and drops a Big Elbow to the back of Jester's head.)
SaraAnne: Big elbow by the Champ, and he seen that Back Drop a mile away.
(Hannibal pulls Jester up and then gets another dose of Heel heat as he signals for his finisher which looks very similar to the Big Show's Final Cut.)
Brian: Hannibal with a Body Slam... No he hooks Jester around the head... Swinging Elbow Drop and Hannibal drives the back of Jester's head into the mat.
SaraAnne: Jester's in trouble...
Jason: Here's the pin attempt... No Wrec Hannibal pulls Jester up by his hair.
(The crowd begins to boo and then 180's as they pop for Jester as he counter's with a kick to Wrec's Jewels.)
Brian: Slapstick... It could be over..!
(Death Jester hooks Hannibal around the leg and rolls him up with a small package.)
ONE...
Jason: That's the move that got him here last week.
TWO...
Brian: We got a new Champion..!
Sara: Yessss... It's over.
THREENOOOOOO..!
(Hannibal shoots up his right arm and the referee signals a two count.)
Jason: Nooooo... Only a two count, and Hannibal somehow kicks out after that low blow.
(Death Jester moves behind Hannibal as he slowly gets to his feet still clutching at his groin. Before Hannibal can stand up straight, Jester somesault's over top of him grabbing him by the head as he hits his verison of Cena's Throwback.)
Brian: What was that... A modified flip over bulldog..?
Jason: I don't know but Jester isn't wasting any time as he goes to the top rope.
(Jester flips forward while rotating backwards into a Shooting Star Press.)
Sara: Huge air by Death Jester who showing us some of his Aerial ability.
Brian: Elbow Drop...
Jason: Death Jester just landed a Shooting Star Press Elbow Drop... Incredible.
Brian: It has to be over... Jester hooks the leg.
ONE...
TWO...
Sara: And New Champion...
THREE...
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..!
Brian: Kickout... At Two and 99/100ths
Jason: Hannibal regardless of the physical condition he came in here is still showing some real toughness as he continues to battle on.
(The Jumbotron flashes with a instant replay of Jester's Shooting Star Press that he modifies when he turns it into a Elbow Drop.)
Sara: Jester going high risk again...
(The camera's cut from the Jumbotron to Jester as he leaps from the mat right to the top turnbuckle.)
Jason: Big Moonsault...
(Crowd Winces as Hannibal lifts his knees.)
Brian: Noooo... Wrec got his knees up... Jester looks winded.
Sara: Both men are down...
(The referee checks on both wrestler's and then begins the Ten count.)
One, Two, Three...
(Wrec rolls onto his stomach.)
Four, Five, Six...
(Death Jester manages to get to his hands and knee's.)
Seven Eight...
Sara: Hannibal using the ropes, pulls himself up.
Brian: Jester's up... Jester's up..!
WHACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Brian: And Jester's back down... Wrec Hannibal exploding off the ropes with a huge Lariat that almost took Jester's head off.
(Hannibal pulls Jester up to his feet and throws him over the top rope. Following him out Wrec Irish Whips Jester into the Steel Ring Post.)
Sara: (Wincing) There's no give in those ring posts, and Death Jester just took a header off one.
Brian: The Champ Wrec Hannibal is now stalking Jester.
(Jester somehow gets to his feet and stumbles towards the announcer's booth.)
Jason: Hannibal sneaking up behind Death Jester... Ooooh.
(Wrec grabs Jester by the head and slams him face first onto the announcer's table.)
Jason: Death Jester is dazed... Hannibal's rolling him onto our table.
Brian: Damn you Mexican announcer guy..! I knew this was going to happen.
(Hannibal shoves Jester's head between his legs and hooks him around the waist lifting him into a Piledriver position.)
CRASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Jason: My Table... Noooooooooooo.
(The table explodes as splinters of wood fly everywhere as Hannibal drives both himself and Death Jester through the announcer's table.)
Sara: Hannibal's dragging Jester back to the ring.
Jason: My Table!!!!
Brian: Get over it... Wrec rolling Jester into the ring.
(Hannibal looks out to the crowd and runs his thumb across his throat signalling for the end.)
Jason: Hannibal from the outside is climbing back into the ring and now to the top turnbuckle.
Sara: He's taking his time...
Brian: Flipping Leg Drop off the top rope...
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sara: Death Jester rolled out of the way...!
(Jester kips up to a standing base, but pauses as he sees Hannibal struggling to get to his feet.)
Brian: What is Death Jester waiting for..?
(The crowd begins to buzz, but Jester motions for them all to be quiet as he lays on the mat pretending to be unconscious.)
Sara: What is Jester doing..? I don't get it.
(Hannibal stumbles almost falling back to the mat as he staggers towards Jester.)
Brian: Wrec looks like he's gonna pin Jester...
(Wrec looks a bit confused maybe thinking he connected somehow with his Flipping Leg Drop.)
Sara: Wrec going for the cover...
THWACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
GROANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Brian: SLAPSTICK!!!
Jason: Wrec just took another kick to the unmentionables... Jester tricked him!!!!!
(Jester kips up again to his feet. Hannibal almost drops to his knees in obvious pain.)
Sara: PUNCH LINE..!
(The Jumbotron flashes to life as Death Jester's can be seen spinning a full 360 as he connects with a Discus Punch to the head of Hannibal.)
Brian: Punch Line!!!
Jason: Genious... Jester played possum... And suckered Hannibal into the Punchline.
Sara: Here's the cover...
ONE...
TWO...
THREE...
Jason: That's it...
Sara: He did it...
Brian: It's over...
(Jesus the NeWA rep makes his way into the ring with the NeWA Cruiserweight title, and a microphone.)
Jesus: Winner... And New NeWA Cruiserweight Champion... Death Jester..!
(Crowd Pops as Jesus presents Jester with the title.)
(Jester sticks out his hand to Jesus.)
(Jesus shakes it... His eyes bug out as Death Jester shows the crowd the Joy Buzzer hidden in the palm of his hand.)
Brian: He's the NEW's prankster... But tonight he's more than that... He's the NeWA Cruiserweight Champion.
(Kiss's Psycho Circus begins to play as NEW wrestler's come to the ring to help Death Jester celebrate his huge victory. He leaves the ring and joins the announce team. He fumbles with the headset aking alot of racket and then explodes into his trademark laugh into the microphone.)
Jester: It's all about me now Baby! New Englang Wrestling now has it's every own GOD around here. Sure, there are Champions and there are there are legends here but I am the only National Title holder in this company.
(He explodes into laughter again.)
Jester: So enjoy the rest of the show. The Highlight is leaving the building. I've got places to see and people to do.
(He throws the headset off onto the table and gives Wrec the finger has he's being escorted out of the ring. Before Death Jester gets past the ring however a huge figure appears in the entryway....)
Sara: Isn't that the Omen???
Jason: It is, and why is he coming down here with a shovel???
(Death Jester doesn't notice The Omen until he is almost face to face with him on the rampway.....Death Jester's eye get wide as he looks up-up-up at The Omen....He tries to sneak to the Omen's left, and is stopped by that shovel hitting the rampway in his path....He tries to dodge right, but he's cut off by a huge left boot of the Omen.....Death Jester looks at the nearby crowd, and then to Omen....He begins jumping up and down frantically, looking like a painted up Daffy Duck....The Omen cocks his head to the side and rears back with that shovel...and in a blink of an eye Death Jester dives between his legs, as the shovel comes crashing down on the rampway....before Omen can react, Death Jester jumps to his feet and gives Omen a courtesy dropkick to the back of the knee, bringing him down to one knee.....Death Jester begins laughing frantically as he makes a speedy departure....)
