| Chapter 3 When they got back to the bus Lindsay walked all the way to the back of the back. She sat in a chair and watched as Paul and Billy played Madden football on Benji�s x-box. Benji was not far behind her. He knelt down beside the chair and looked into Lindsay�s eyes. �Baby, you can talk to me about anything. This doesn�t change anything and deep down you know that.� �Yes it does.� She pushed herself off the chair and walked to the door. �I just want to be alone to think.� With that she walked out the door leaving Benji to worry about her. As she walked towards the door of the bus Joel caught her by the arm. He held a cell phone to his ear. �Hey Britt, I will call you back in a second baby.� After hearing his girlfriend�s goodbye he hung the phone up. �Where are you going?� �For a walk.� She said refusing to look into his eyes. She knew that if she did she would see the disgust she felt for herself. �Why are you going by yourself?� �Because.� �Is it for the same reason you will not look at me?� Her silence gave him her answer. �Lindsay you know me better then that. And you know Benj better then that. Sweetie nothing Benj found out today changes his feelings for you.� �Yes it does. I know it does. He can�t look at me the same. Everything is different.� Joel let go of her arm and started to walk to the back. �No kid. Nothing is different. If you just let him in you will see that nothing is different.� He walked to the back room forgetting to pick his cell phone back up. Lindsay sat down for a second to get a grip on her thoughts when Joel�s cell phone started to ring. �Hello?� She asked picking it up. �Umm hi.� Said the female voice on the other end. �I don�t mean to be rude but who are you and why do you have Joel�s cell phone?� �I�m Lindsay. His brother Benji�s girlfriend. He left his cell phone out here when he went to the back� one sec I will get him for you.� She got back up and started the short walk to the back. �Umm don�t mean to be nosey but who are you?� �Oh. I�m sorry. I�m Brittany� Joel�s girlfriend.� The words stopped her in her tracks. �Joel�s girlfriend? For how long?� This was news to her; but then again she had been gone for a long time. �For about a year now.� �Oh. I guess Joel just forgot to tell me. No big deal.� She said as she started to walk again, while wondering why Joel hadn�t told her. Opening the door she looked at Joel. �Ok Brittany it was nice talking to you�here is Joel. Joel your girlfriend is on the phone.� Once the phone was in Joel�s had she was back out the door. �Lindsay, please just talk to me.� Benji begged following her. He followed her to his bunk where she stopped. Digging in her bag she pulled out a notebook. �Here this tells it all. Everything. If you want the truth then read it.� Benji took the book and put it on his bed while he was on the road. �Ok and I will read it, but I want to talk to you. Didn�t we once say no secrets and no lies?� �We were younger then Benj. My mom was alive and you dad was still around. Both of our lives have been hell. The first half of that notebook is before I left. I wrote maybe two sentences about myself in all the entrees. The rest of them are about you. Read it then come talk to me. I will be watching the guys play Madden.� She kissed him on the cheek before leaving him to read. He sat down and picked the notebook back up. Hoping he was ready to know the full story he opened it to the first page. �May 29th Mom died. I know she is not coming back this time but it is ok. Benji and I kissed for the first time today. Sometimes I think as long as he is around nothing can go wrong. I love knowing that he is always there if I need him. I do have a bad feeling that things are going to get bad with dad now tho. Mom kept him inline when it came to me�. Now� I am scaried to know what is going to happen. Tiger� Benji smiled to himself at what she had written about him and read the next date. �June 4th I hate Benji�s father. He and Joel came to school today beat up. Joel has a black eye and Benj has a black eye, busted lip and a cut on his head. Those are the only things I could see wrong. I guess in a way it makes Benj and I closer� Only dad doesn�t leave marks where people can see them. I think he may have broken my rib the other day� glad Benj hasn�t tried to pick me up�it hurts like a bitch. Benji told me that their father is an acholic. I wish that I could get him out of there. I hope that his dad never tries to hurt Sarah. The boys will freak if he lays one hand on there little sister. Shit I better go dad is home and in a mood. Tiger.� Benji flipped the page and kept reading. �June 9th I have not been to school in a few days. Since the last time I wrote. I couldn�t go because I don�t want Benji to see me like this. I was right it is a broken rip�He saw me kiss Benj goodbye the other day. Dad got pretty pissed and well I won�t go into that. I am going to school tomorrow though. I feel like if I don�t get away from dad soon that I am going to lose it. The bruse on my arm is gone now. I just hope my rip isn�t too bad. It still hurts but it has to get better soon right? Tiger� After reading that Benji had to close his eyes for keep the tears away. �June 11th I know he was kidding but Benji asked me to run away with him today. I wish he wasn�t joking. I want to get away from dad and get him away from his dad� But I understand he can�t leave Joel or Sarah or Josh� most of all, his mother. Dad did it last night he finally tried to break me all the way. I can�t even write what he did but I know I can�t face Benj for a while now. Yet I am thinking about running to his house for the night. I think I will. Tiger.� He could still remember the night she had showed up on his doorstep crying now he finally knew why. He didn�t want to read anymore but knew he had to� |
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