| Title: Lost Disclaimer: I own Lyndsey .The rest is owned by their respectful owners. Distribution: Please ask before taking it. Rating: R Chapter 1 He had been getting worse as time went by. His brother and his friends thought he just needed time. Now sleep had stopped coming without the aid of seven sleeping pills. On stage he use to jump around and it was energy rush� now it was slowing eating him alive. He would watch as his brother jumped around on stage and then into the back. His brother�s eyes use to be identical to his but now his were full of pain and depression. He sat down on the couch and closed his eyes. It was her�everything in his life was about her. A few minutes later he felt the couch sink with the weight of another person. �Hey stranger.� That was the voice that had been haunting him since that day. �Hello? Earth to Benji.� He just wished he could fall asleep and not hear her voice or see her face. �Benj are you ok?� His eyes remained closed. There was no point in opening them. He knew the second he did she would be gone. �Benj you scaring me.� He still did move or respond. Tonight was going to be full of pain. It had already started. It had started that day. The day she left. �Joel I think something is wrong with him!� That was not right. She never called for Joel. Most of the time she just told him that he did this to himself. He slowly opened his eyes and looked over at the person he had lost so long ago. �Lyndsey?� His voice was weak and he sounded very depressed. He saw Joel running over to him. He knew Joel was not hearing things. He thought he had finally lost it. �Yeah Benj.� She ran her fingers through his hair. �It�s me.� He felt like a weight had been lifted. She was back. His eyes closed again as the sleepless nights caught up to him. His head dropped down and his body failed him. �Joely what�s wrong with him?� �I think he passed out. He has not been sleeping since�. you know.� �Yeah.� She said looking at Benji. �Help me get him to the hotel?� She nodded and they pulled him up. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ He opened his eyes and looked around the hotel room. Joel must have brought him here. There was something missing. She was not back. He knew she wasn�t but he always hoped that when he opened his eyes she would be there next to him. He stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom. Picking up the razor blade he looked at himself. �You did do this to yourself. You can�t push someone like you did and have them come back to you. She is gone for good. She will never come back because she will never love you again.� His eyes were bloodshot and full of the same pain. He looked down at his arm. There were a lot of scars there under the tattoos. No one had ever found out. Yet he had been doing this since he was 16. Since he had to watch his twin brother, mother, and little sister cry themselves to sleep every night for months after his dad left. He pushed the blade to his skin and starred at his own dead eyes. The blood was dripping out of his arm as the tears ran down his face. He wished he could blame his dad for all of this. That was who gave him the disease that drove her away. �You couldn�t just have one good thing could you? You had to keep pushing in till your family and band were the only ones left who would talk to you,� he said to his reflection. He watched as the blood ran down his arm. Something always kept him from cutting deep enough to ending it all. That one thing was his family. Joel could never understand if Benji left him. He would think of it as a betrayal. His mother� it would probably kill her. His eyes shot up to the mirror as the bathroom door opened����. |
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