Bad Dudes - Data East"THE
PRESIDENT HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS! ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO
RESCUE THE PRESIDENT?" These are probably the greatest lines to come
from a nintendo game. They represent the sheer hokeyness that can come
from any given game on the NES. In that area, this game does not
dissappoint. In Bad Dudes, you are a "bad dude" (or a one-man amry in a
wife-beater and a crew cut) who fights his way through millions of ninjas
in order to rescue his beloved president. These ninjas belong to the
terrorist organization known as "Dragon Ninja" and come in many
varieties. There's your standard blue, red, and grey ones, but you'll
also find midget ninjas, flammable ninjas, and even fat ones that
vaguely resemble Karnov. What kind of ninjas are these anyway?
Base Wars - UltraFrom
Konami's ugly, abused step-sister Ultra comes the coolest baseball idea
since the Infield Fly Rule, Base Wars. I haven't been a really big fan
of baseball since Daryl Strawberry was traded from the Mets (either
that, or when Jose Canseco started to suck), but a baseball game with
robots? Robots with tank treads or a motorcycle wheel instead of feet?
And add fights? I am so there! Yes...fights, folks. Instead of just
getting tagged out at second base, for example, the runner and the 2nd
baseman beat the crap out of each other for possesion of said base.
Also, since they're robots, they can be given upgrades, such as a
better shooter for pitching or a better shoulder for batting. And, yes,
weapons for those melees at a tag-up. If only real baseball was this
exciting.
Baseball Stars - SNKI
really don't have that much to say about this game. I mean, it is a
good baseball game. There were a lot of default teams, but those teams
provided a decent variety. Plus, there was a creation mode, as well as
a franchise-type mode, where you signed, created, and cut players to
fit your budget. It was kind of an innovative baseball game for it
time, and a lot of people like it, but...I didn't really care for it
for some reason. It seems boring to me. But then again I don't enjoy
baseball for the same reason. There's not really that much skill in
hitting a ball with a large wooden stick and running around in a
circle. Or maybe it's just because pitchers constantly whacked me with
a pitch when I played Little League. Baseball isn't fun for a
left-handed kid, trust me.
Batman - HudsonSoft
Batman, to me, is the classiest superhero of all time. He didn't have any
real superpowers; he was just smart enough (and rich enough) to come up with
all these nifty crime-fighting gadgets to aid him in his quest for justice.
Plus, his car is really badass. But enough about Batman; what about his game?
Well, it sucks. It doesn't really play that well, and some the things in
it are just weird. There might have been flame thrower guys and ninjas and
stuff in Batman (be it comics, TV, movies, etc), but I don't remember seeing
any kamikazee droids or claw weilding cyborgs. At least the Caped Crusader
has his Baterang as one of his weapons, or I would have been really dissapointed.
Battle Chess - Data East
I can just imagine what the creators of this game were thinking. "You know,
chess is kinda boring. Let's make a chess game that has animated pieces and
real battles!" Then some other guy says, "REAL BATTLES! What a concept! It'll
be super extreme cool!" Yeah, wow, great idea. Well, you know what? It wasn't
a great idea. It's chess. There's nothing more you can do with it. Especially
not the way these guys did it. In fact, Battle Chess is even more boring
than real chess. The pieces are
so slow, and the battle sequences
aren't even that great. When I rented this game back in...oh I don't know,
I expected that you'd actually be able to control the battles, a la Basewars
or something. But no, you get the same little scene every time. This game
sucks. Don't play it.
Battletoads - Tradewest
Oh yeah. Battletoads. This game kicked ass back in the day. Actually, it kicked
my
ass. It was really friggin' hard, and is still considered one of the most
difficult games on the NES. But despite it's difficulty, it was still a great
game. You take on the role of two super-buff toads, Rash and Zitz (they must've
been taking the same drugs the creators of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were
taking), and fight against the forces of the Dark Evil Queen, who is holding
some princess and your brother Pimple hostage. The Evil Dark Queen is also
really hot. Anyways, you punch, kick, and race your way through 13 action-packed
levels, enough to keep you on your toes for a while. If only I could get
past level 5...