I am in a state of shock as Lance said that to me. Did he really just say that? Is it a dream and I am just capable of feeling pain in some way?
That reminds me, I better get some ice on my face or I won't be "Miss Beautiful" tomorrow.
"Do you really love him?" JC asked me, giving me a look that I couldn't look away from. I didn't know what to say next. Should I just tell 3 almost complete strangers the story?
Yes, I've been in love with him ever since September of 1998.
"Well, everyone says I do," I say quietly, getting another paper towel and wetting it to extremely cold water and let it rest on my warm cheek.
God, that punch hurt. I'll have to thank Rico for that someday.
"That doesn't matter. What do you think?" Joey said gently to me, leaning on the wall across from me and crossed his arms.
I really don't want to talk about this right now, especially when I know it will get to Justin.
"I love him," I say, bursting out in a few more sobs, "I didn't mean to be so mean to him. That's the way I live now. I really can't help it."
Jade, please don't go insane. You need to get back to normal in the morning. Back to your bitchy old self.
"I don't think Justin likes that kind of first impression," Lance stated to me, making me look at him, "I wouldn't want to be called everything but a male by a woman that is 16 years old."
Oh, I'm a woman now. If I wasn't cussing my audience away, I'd be a little girl.
"We have to take a plane ride to New York tonight for the photo shoot tomorrow, Jade," JC gently stated to me, lifting his head up from the mad place it was in before, "We should be able to get along without you cussing us all to hell and back."
Yeah you're right. I should cuss you all out to hell and back, and then to hell again!
"You and Justin are going to get along someday," Joey told me sternly, "You're going to have to somewhat to stand next to each other in a photo shoot tomorrow."
Yeah, who's going to kill the other first?
"Yeah I know," I say quietly. I don't have enough power in front of them to cuss my heart out like I want to. I don't want to lose 4 possible friends.
I already lost Justin.
"Jade, do what you think is best," Lance place a comforting hand on my bare shoulder, giving me a gentle smile, making his fire melt away from his gorgeous green eyes.
Finally, some relenting from the guys. But it'll never happen. Me being friends with Justin is now a fantasy.
"Didn't you hear him yell at me that we would never be friends? Even if I wasn't a bitch anymore?" I yelled at them, finally getting my kick back.
Enough of this emotional shit.
"I think he was lying," Joey stated to me, starting to go a little soft on me, "He would like you if you were a little nicer to him and not calling him such nasty shit."
Like that could possibly be a reality. Fuck this shit. I could never be friends with him after what I did tonight.
"I feel like giving up totally," I sigh, leaning against the wall away from the guys, fresh tears starting to come to my eyes, "I love everything about that man. I mean, I loved his fro, I love his eyes, I love his voice, and I love that he is pissed at me. I just love the fact that he does know who I am. I was pathetic when I was in love with him when I didn't know him, but it gave me a new chance when I met him. It wasn't just a fantasy anymore. But now," I started to let the tears out of my eyes and the emotion went straight into my voice, "I have no chance of getting him. He loves Britney too much. But the sick part is, he doesn't even consider being friends an option. I would settle with that!" I broke out in a fit of sobs, crying my eyes out.
I just told my whole sappy story to 3 out of 5 of *NSYNC. Why am I so dumb?
"You've got to apologize to Justin," JC came up to me and turned me around, looking at me sincerely, "I'm sure he'll understand that you're sorry and want to start over."
Is this actually happening? Is this still reality?
I take a deep breath and look up at JC with my watery brown eyes, "I will apologize. I just want to be friends if we can't be more than that. I mean, he loves Britney and I totally respect that. But if we ever had a chance together, that'd be cool too."
Good luck, Jade. You're going to need it.