This has moved out of my control...and I hate it. As I watched her walk through the rain, I cried as well. I hated her for doing this...but I still loved her so much. How could that be possible? She was such a beautiful person...she saw hope in me. I'm completely lost. I'm lost without her. How could a person I love so much do something to hurt me so badly?

I don't have a god damn problem with my alcohol.

Everything was swirling again as the family came back in the bus and drove me to the clinic...here we go...my goodbye...

Before I walked in, I silently mouthed to myself, "Keep my heart somewhere drugs don't go, where the sunshine slows, always keep me close..."

And I met the lights like I did before I knew Sarah. My epiphany would have to wait. This was my wake up call.

_________________________________________

I woke up abruptly, my face sticking to the pillow. Damnit�I knew it was too good to be true. Alcoholics can't admit they have a stupid problem. I've known that for too long. I'll probably never know if he'll be okay. But he's going�

There's a chance�

I know what happened will never go away, either. Now I know that a girl, overweight and insecure, can love as well. I never thought it possible�I'm just hoping for the best.

I guess we'll just have to see.

The End