They pulled into the liquor store and parked. John and Bobby went inside. A few minutes later they came out with a twelve pack of Budweiser and a four pack of Strawberry Wine Coolers. They put them in the trunk and they were on their way. Bobby drove down Main Street to see if anyone he knew was there. It was dead.
“What, are we cruisin’ Main now, Bob? What are ya? Thirteen?” John said sarcastically.
Bobby looked over, “Well, I don’t hear any bright ideas outa you, wise guy.”
“Let’s go to Duck Park, we haven’t done that for a while,” Cindy suggested.
“We don’t do that cuz it sucks,” John said without looking back.
“Come on, we don’t want to sit in this car all night. That’s as good as any place.”
Sally was looking out the back glass with her chin on her folded arm. Duck Park’s real name was Centennial Park, but nobody except old people called it that. There was a small pond in the northeast corner, filled to the brim with, yes, that’s right, ducks. Some people fed them bread. Kids chased them. But John’s favorite thing to do was throw rocks at them. They pulled into a parking spot and climbed out. Cindy, John, and Sally sat on the hood of the car and Bobby got two beers and two wine coolers out of the trunk. He distributed the beverages and sat down. Sally gazed upward into the night sky. She picked out a star, a nice bright one, and focused on it. Leaning back against the windshield, she closed one eye.
“You guys ever wonder what’s out there, you know, on the other planets?”
“Nothin’. Just space dust,” John answered.
“Oh, come on John. We can’t be the only ones in the universe,” Cindy looked over, smiling.
Sally nudged Bobby, “What do you think?”
“I think you’re all wrong. There are no other planets. Just this one.”
They all looked at Bobby disgusted.
“Yeah, right.”
“Whatever.”
Sally didn't take her eye off her star.
“Really,” Bobby looked very serious, “there aren’t any stars either.”
Sally raised both hands upward, “Then what the hell is all this, bright guy?”
“Those are all satellites, every last one.”
John picked up a pile of duck ammunition, “You’re a moron.”
“Did you have crack for supper, or what?”
Sally lost her star in favor of Bobby’s face.
Bobby leaned back and crossed his arms, “The government wants you to believe in space, but it’s not really there. It’s all a big conspiracy to keep our attention up there, and not on them.”
“And those are all...satellites,” Cindy said to continue his thought. She didn’t want his insanity to end yet. She was amused.
“Mostly global positioning and military weapons satellites, but a few are for entertainment. You know, cable TV and cell phones and stuff.”
He was starting to sound like he really believed himself. Sally wrote him off as full of it, and tried to find her star again. But it was (not unlike Bobby’s common sense) lost.
Sally raised up the long necklace she had on so she could see it. The center piece was a big crescent moon with three stars hanging beside it. The symbol was the same one found on the back of Proctor and Gamble packaging. She remembered that time, when she was almost thirteen, the flyer that was going around her church. It said that Proctor and Gamble, the makers of Crest toothpaste and Jif peanut butter, had sold their souls to the devil. The moon and stars image on the back of their products was a sign of evil, that proved it.
We should all boycott these items immediately.
Sally smiled at the outlandish idea. She wondered what psychotics out there had nothing better to do than rile up the Christians. At the bottom of the flyer she remembered it saying, What more proof do we need? Sally thought, Oh I don’t know. How about some polaroids of them standing around a cauldron of bubbling tartar control toothpaste, rubbing chunky style Jif all over each other?
She almost laughed out loud at the picture in her head. She’d pay to see that. Her mother even quit buying the stuff for a while. That is until the next flyer came out.
It was all about the evils of the roll playing game Dungeons and Dragons. They really ate that one up. She had never played it, but she considered going out and buying it just to piss off her mom. But oh well, the books cost twelve dollars a piece and she had more important things to spend her meager allowance on. Namely shoes and makeup.
She did finally play it once with the guy she was dating and his friends. She soon found out it was a game made exclusively for geeks to sit and pretend they were all big and bad. It caught her particularly funny when a skinny, pimple faced boy named Leon said sternly, I should be able to kill that dragon. I am a ten foot tall Ogre Warrior. She couldn’t remember her boyfriend’s name now, but she sure remembered Leon. It’s funny how the mind works. She didn’t know the guy’s name that she dated for two months in tenth grade, the guy who she slapped at the drive in for grabbing her boobs and taking out his penis. But Leon, a kid she never spoke two words to, was carved like granite in her mind. What a world.
“Okay, I’m bored now. Let’s do something.”
Cindy was tired of watching John peg ducks with gravel.
“I like it here,” Sally’s thoughts were still with pimple faced Leon.
“Nah, if we stay here any longer, the cops are sure to see us partying. Let’s go.”
John threw his last rock at the pond.
Cindy’s eyes lit up, “I know. Let’s go to tunnel drive.”
Sally became agitated. “I hate that place. Anything but that.”
Her eyes were fixed on a white spot in the grass across the water. She couldn’t tell for sure, but from this distance it looked ever so much like a Ping-Pong ball.
“Come on Sal. What’s your deal?” John was already getting in the car.
“No deal. I just don’t want to, that’s all,” her eyes met Bobby’s, hoping for some support. He looked down at the scratched Chevy hood.
“I think we should go. Sounds good to me.”
Damn.
She thought sure Bobby would back her up. He did like her and all. At least he used to. Her vision went back across the water.
You can’t move me, silly girl. Everybody knows that.
“I’m tired anyway. You guys can drop me off at home.”
“No way!” spouted Cindy.
“You’re goin’ whether you like it or not.” John’s voice was muffled through the closed car window.
“Get in.”
She was most definitely out numbered. She would regret it. Sally just knew it. But maybe she could handle it. Maybe...
That happened a long time ago. I should just get over it.
Slowly she climbed in the backseat and glanced once more across the pond.
Yeah silly girl, get over it and join us at tunnel drive. It’ll be a scream.
Sally watched the moon shining behind the trees through the back window. She didn’t say another word until they got there.
Tunnel Drive was off Highway 50, west of Canon City. The road ended two miles up, but not before it went through three long tunnels that cut right through the mountain. At the top was a big clearing over looking the Arkansas River. Sally had an uneasy feeling in her stomach when they pulled off the highway.
The little green sign read,
Welcome to Tunnel Drive. Enjoy!
That was friendly enough. But it didn’t make her feel one ounce better. The bushes they were passing were full of little white flower blossoms that shook in the breeze. They looked familiar to her somehow.
Get over it and join us at Tunnel Drive.
She tried to think about something else. Anything else. But no dice. Just Ping-Pong balls.
Join us.
Sally’s whole body shuddered for a moment. She closed her eyes as tight as she could, and tried to concentrate on, on...
“Fucking Ping-Pong balls!”
Everyone in the car turned and looked at Sally. She was as surprised as they were. She didn’t intend to say that out loud.
“What the hell are you talking about Sal?” John’s voice was as rude.
Cindy was worried. Her friend didn’t look so good, “Sally are you okay?”
“Yeah, um, I’m okay.”
She was trying to convince herself as well as Cindy.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
The first tunnel was coming up. Both guys quickly rolled down their windows. The air was cool and fresh. The rock mouth swallowed the Nova whole and its blackness enveloped them.
Bobby and John hung their heads outside the car and howled, “OOOWW!”
The echo inside the mountain’s throat was quick and sharp. Cindy thought it sounded cool. Sally thought she might throw up. They shot out the other side and the blue moonlight once again caught the hood of the car. Sally looked up at the stars to try and comfort herself. Which one was her’s? She couldn’t tell now.
They all looked so, so...black. They were inside the second tunnel.
Nice of you to join us, Sal.
She looked around nervously. She couldn’t see anything except dim headlights.
We’ve been waiting.
She was afraid that she might see something she shouldn’t. Like before. Like in her dreams. She couldn’t handle that tonight. Not now.
No better time than the present.
The voice in her head was high pitched, gritty.
Or the past, Another voice wheezed.
Shut up, both of you.
She would get through this. She had to. But the truth was, she didn’t know if she could. None of the others, not Bob, or John, or Cindy realized that they had just raced straight into hell. Straight into the very darkest part of the dark side. And they went along happily, laughing all the way. But why shouldn’t they? Sally was the only sinner here. She was the only one punishable in this place. It was hers alone. The others couldn’t help or understand. They were just along for the ride.
The Chevy Nova roared out of the second tunnel at about fifty miles an hour. That was twice the speed limit. Bobby and John thought it was twice the fun.
“You’d better slow down, dumb ass,” Cindy shouted over the enthusiastic laughing in the front seat.
Both of them heard her, and both of them acted as if they hadn’t. Sally sat sideways in the backseat, with her back toward Cindy. Her eyes were wide, staring at the passing blur of the landscape. She was thinking how stupid she was for letting them bring her here. It was like Luke, leaving his Jedi training to face Vader before he was ready. He surprised Vader by being stronger than he expected, but in the end, there was no way to win. Escaping with his life was the best he could do. Luke lost a hand to the dark side. What would Sally lose?
The car entered the third, and last tunnel. The needle on the speedometer was now pointing at 56 mph. At that speed they would be on the other side in about twenty seconds. That is, if there hadn’t been a person standing in the middle of the road. He wore dark clothes, black jeans and a brown flannel shirt. They didn’t see him until he was about twenty feet away. Bobby’s heart did its absolute best to jump straight through his ribs, and out his chest.
John let out a loud, “Oh, Jesus!” that echoed off the jagged wall.
Bob’s foot jammed the brake as hard and as close to the floor as it would go. The girl’s momentum threw them against the backs of the bucket seats. The tires scraped into the dirt and gravel. Neither of them knew what was happening until they heard the body hit the windshield and saw it fly over the back glass. It was limp as it flew through the air and seemed to explode on impact. Sally watched as it hit the ceiling of the tunnel, spinning the head and arms in the other direction. The car came to a stop and dust poured in the open windows.
They were now at least twenty feet from the end of the tunnel. The body was most likely that distance behind them. The girls high pitched screaming inside the mountain sounded like a chorus of tortured souls. Bobby was shaking uncontrollably as John looked back into the darkness. The person they had hit was laying somewhere unseen, covered in a blanket of shadow. The windshield had cracked into a
big spider. There was dust and sand all over the hood. And also, what looked to be a broken corner piece off a sheet of 3/4 inch plywood. Bob got out first then Cindy. Tears and mascara ran down her face in dark streaks. John stepped out and almost tripped over his own feet. He grabbed the car door and regained his balance.
Sally was not moving at all. She just stared straight ahead blankly. This place reeked of the dark side. She would not have been a bit surprised if the Emperor himself were waiting just outside the tunnel.
Somehow she could feel his presence.
Nice of you to join us.
Once again she was nine-years-old. Her father was drunk. He had a crazy look in his eyes. Her mother wanted a divorce. Daddy struck mommy across the face with the force of...the force of...a car shooting down a tunnel sixty miles per hour.
Jesus.
Sally had to get out of the car. Now. She turned and climbed out the drivers side where Bob and Cindy were standing. Nothing was said for a long time. They all just stood there gazing into the pitch black hole.
Finally, Cindy choked out, “He’s dead, isn’t he?”
“He’d have to be. I’m sure he...” John stopped.
Bobby was more scared than he had ever been in his life, “We’re not sure of anything. Somebody has to go see.”
“Fine,” John walked around the car, “we should all go.”
They all walked forward with slow nervous steps. Sally trailed behind. Cindy went to her and took her hand.
“Come on.”
John stepped over something.
“What’s that?” For a moment Bobby thought it looked like an arm.
John kicked at it, “Just a piece of broken PVC pipe.”
It was the same as he had under his sink at home. They kept going. And then there it was, not ten feet away. A dark slump lying on the gravel. Cindy couldn’t look. She shut her eyes and buried her face in her hands. John stood directly over it, looking down nervously. It was so dark that he, even as close as he was, still couldn’t see anything but a silhouette. It was a blackened hump of a pile.
“Sally,” he whispered looking back, “Gimmie your lighter.”
She dug deep inside the breast pocket of her jacket. When her hand emerged, it was holding a silver Zippo lighter. She handed it to Bobby and he passed it to John quickly and then stepped back three full backward strides. When John kneeled down, he found himself in a large mound of loose dirt, or something gritty, but soft. He put his left hand into it. He pulled up a hand full and let it slide through his fingers. He knew what it was before he clicked on the lighter.
His thumb clicked the little wheel, and the wheel snapped the flint. The flame popped alive. His eyes now validated what his fingers had told him. He was kneeling in a big pile of sand. The body that was now visible to him lay twisted and torn. Holding the lighter closer, he could hardly believe his eyes. It took a moment to sink in. He looked around the area, at the busted PVC pipe, the plywood pieces and back down at the heap of sand. It all came together and was now cohesive in his mind.
He began to laugh. It was a nervous, almost a panting laugh he could not control.
The others standing at his back thought he’d lost it. He’d seen more than he could mentally handle and he’d gone loopy. When his head swung around they saw that his grin was genuine. He didn’t look crazy at all.
“Bobby,” he announced, “you didn’t kill a person. You killed someone’s inflate-a-date.”
They all rushed over to see what the hell he could be talking about. Sure enough, it was a vinyl sex doll lying there, and someone had filled it with sand. They had dressed it and propped it up on the road with plywood and drainpipe.
“Jesus Christ!” Bobby sounded.
Cindy put her arm around him, “You lucky son of a bitch!”
John grabbed the ripped up pretend girl by the tacky black wig. He began walking to the tunnel opening dragging her behind him.
“Let’s get outa here before somebody runs us over.”
They all went back to the car.
“Who the hell has nothing better to do than screw with people like that?” Bob ducked into the driver’s seat.
Cindy was standing beside him, “Probably the same assholes that make those computer viruses.”
“Look’s like you need a new windshield Cin.” John commented as he passed the car.
Cindy took her first real look at the Nova. The front bumper was bent, most likely from the PVC pipe. The glass was cracked from one side to the other, but it was not bad enough that they couldn’t drive it.
Sally trailed behind like always, not saying a word. She thought maybe the dark side had let her off with a warning.
We’ll let you go this time. But don’t let us catch you remembering without a license again.
She allowed herself to smile and walked a little faster to catch up with Cindy.
Cindy, “You okay?”
Sally, “Yeah. You?”
“Well, I can say I’m doing better than she is,” Sally watched as John committed plastic girl’s remains to a nearby bush.
Bobby started the car and moved it out of the tunnel. He drove slowly and cautiously. He got out and joined John.
Bobby asked, “So, do you think she was brand new, right out of the box, or do ya think she was, you know, used?”
John let out a disgusted, “Uhh,” and quickly wiped his hands on his pants.
“Come on you guys, lets go.” Cindy was climbing in the back seat.
“Are you sure you want to let him drive?” Sally was right behind her.
“Yeah. I have a feeling he’ll go a little slower now.”
Both guys got in and John gave Bobby a serious stare. “Okay speedy, try to keep it under a hundred.”
Bob said nothing. He didn’t have anything clever left to say. He, like the rest of them, just wanted to go home.
Sally’s ride back through the tunnels was uneventful. The voices were gone. The dark side of the force was behind her and there were no Ping-Pong balls in sight. She had escaped with her life and her sanity.
Just how long she could avoid the pain of the past was unclear. That terrible thing that happened at the top of tunnel drive when she was ten years old was still with her. Tonight was a cold-hearted reminder of that.
It was all inside there, somewhere, screaming to get out. She did what worked for her to get through each day. It was a three-part solution. Suppression, distraction, and denial. She’d get no awards from the
psychiatric community, but she couldn’t stand those bastards anyway.
The car pulled into the driveway at ten minutes after midnight.
Stepping out she said, It’s been real.”
“You can say that again,” Cindy added.
“See ya Sal.”
“Bye guys. I’ll call you tomorrow, Cindy.”
“Okay.”
The car was halfway down her block before she realized John still had her lighter.
Oh well. I’ll get it tomorrow.
The dead bolt clanked open, and in she went. The house was dark except for the faint glow of the night light in the bathroom. She made her way across the living room into the kitchen, and snapped on the light above the stove. Sally turned on the electric burner and took off her jacket. It was hung on the back of a chair and then she fished a crinkled package of Virginia Slims out of the breast pocket. When she got back to the stove, the front burner was red hot. Bending over it carefully, she put the cigarette in her mouth and pressed the other end against the red element. In two puffs, she was satisfied it was lit. The stove was turned off, and she sat down at the table.
What a screwed up night.
The entire evening played back in her head, Bobby had better thank his lucky satellites, she thought, that wasn’t a real person he hit. If it were, he’d be sitting in jail right now. He’d be charged with manslaughter, speeding, and first-degree stupidity. And after all that, Cindy still wanted him to drive them home.
What a world.
Sally crushed out the cigarette in the ashtray and went into the bedroom. She changed into a T-shirt. What would she dream about tonight? She had been let off easy earlier. But would her dreams be as forgiving? Tonight she had gone to the place that she promised herself she would never go. The place her daddy used to go when he was feeling down. He would sit in his car for hours, drinking and thinking about his screwed up life. It was the place he went when he decided that he no longer wanted to live. That night, back in 1981, it was just daddy, a bottle of whiskey, and his trusty old twelve-gauge. It was that night that Sally had relived in her dreams ever since. But tonight it was more real than ever. She went there. To the very place. Her dreams were not going to forgive her for that. It was going to be a long night.
Sally was walking through her living room. It was completely dark. She felt her way down the west wall, past the entertainment center, and around the corner into the kitchen. When she turned on the stove light, it made a kind of fizzle sound and then a snap. No light. Her bare feet padded across the cool linoleum to the opposite wall. Clicking on the switch for the overhead light, the result was the same. A fizz and a pop. No light.
What the hell?
And then there was a light. Not coming from the stove, or above her head, or any other light bulb in the house. It was a red glow coming from outside. The soft haze created window shaped patches on the front room floor. She walked over to the window and peered into the night. Outside it was so thick with fog, she couldn’t see the fifteen feet to her car. The heavy swirling mist was illuminated by a bright red light from somewhere across the street. Sally opened the door and stepped onto the porch. Trees were everywhere. They were tall and foreboding silhouettes against the crimson haze. There was an elm where her car should be, growing right through the concrete. There were weeping willows where her street should be. She flipped around and her house was gone. Vanished.
In its place was a huge rock formation. She walked around to the side of it. There was a big crack in the gray surface. Fog was coming out in big puffs. Then there was a hole. Then a tunnel. It ran deep into a mountain and out the other side. The red glow was now coming from the other end of the stone hallway. The ground was wet and cold. She stepped into the mountain. The rock closed in behind her. There was nowhere to go now but forward as the rock continued to implode against itself, getting closer. Sally ran. She sprinted just as fast as her ten-year-old feet would take her. The distant exit at the other side was coming faster and faster. She stopped. The opening was now running to her. It swept by her so fast that the wind it created almost knocked her down. She was outside once again, standing in the middle of a clearing over looking the Arkansas River.
I can’t be here. Oh God, not here.
But she was. Her father was sitting on a flat rock under a tree. He was loading an old twelve-gauge shotgun. She ran to him.
Daddy.
He couldn’t see her.
Don’t do it, daddy.
He couldn’t hear her. Of course he couldn’t. She wasn’t there really. She wasn’t there when it happened. With the shell in place, he clicked it shut.
Please God, no.
For a moment he sat motionless, staring down at the river. And then he remembered something in his pocket. His hand dug deep inside. The lining of the pocket came out with the prize clenched in his fingers and two quarters fell into the grass. He set the little round Ping-Pong ball on the rock beside him. It was glowing brightly. It had been the source of the red light all along. Sally wanted to smash it into a million pieces, but it was too strong for that. The dark side was protecting it. Watching over it, just as it watched over her daddy. But Daddy was smart. He knew that it had taken him. It had twisted him into something else. Something bad. The crimson light was in him and he finally had accepted that. There was no way back. He was doing the only thing he could do. The barrel was in his mouth.
No daddy.
Sally couldn’t stop him. Not now. Maybe in 1981 she thought, but not now. Her father finished this task ten years ago. She knew she would never be finished. There would be no end. Little Sally tried to pull the gun out of her daddy’s hands, but it wouldn’t budge.
You can’t move me, silly girl.
He pushed down the trigger with a stick he had found lying in the weeds. The shot echoed through the trees and across the river. Sally screamed and tears ran down her cheeks. The ball was laughing at her.
Nice of you to join us, Sal. It’s been a real pleasure.
Her daddy was stuck to the tree like red mashed potatoes. She screamed until her throat was raw. She was still screaming when she realized that she was ten years older and sitting up in her bed.
There was no more sleep waiting for Sally that night. It wouldn’t have come even if she had wanted it. She made a pot of coffee and sat at the kitchen table. The sun came up behind the curtain. It was a warm and comforting sign that the night was over. She poured out a bowl of Rice Crispies and tried to forget everything.
It was Saturday and she didn’t have to work. Her and Cindy were supposed to get together later. They would go shopping, probably. They’d go to Colorado Springs and sip cappuccinos, acting cool. They might see a movie. Sally tried to remember what was playing, and went in to take a shower.
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