I've not been terribly productive with it lately, but I do use it as an outlet when I'm frustrated or feel very down. Therefore, a lot of the music is... dark!

I think motivation is what's lacking, lately. Or perhaps I've lost my angst. I guess I may have been too content for a long time... Perhaps that will change soon.

I play a little bass, guitar, keyboards - and sing... but not much of any one thing. Bass was my first real instrument that I spent any time with. I was 16 and my friend EJ (who is dead now) had given me a old piece of junk strat copy that "didn't work" so I tried to fix it. It had three strings for a long time. After some messing around, I got it to SORTA work through my home stereo amp. I loved the distortion I could get by overdriving the mess via the tape head input on a boombox. I used one of those CD player jack to a cassette deck adapter tapes to make the connection. It was... raspy.

I've been in a few bands...

The first real one was called "Mechanism"... started back in like '95 or so I think. It was experimental, goth/industrial. We went through a lot of people. We played a few shows around town... then were going to release a couple songs on compilation CD's and found out there was already another band by that name. After much research - we chose the name:

"Nefarium" for future musical efforts. Another band name considered was "geardrive fey"... and other more obtuse things. We played several shows around town and put out a couple songs on compilation CD's... the first song was called "sleeping beauty" (in the poetry section) and that's on a CD called "Resurgence" - put out by Doppler Effect Records. The second song we recorded was called "dream releaser" and that was put out by "The United Endangered Front" on a comp CD called "Circuit Noir" with a bunch of other dark electronic bands. I gave away all my promo copies of that cd and don't even have it anymore except for the DAT tape master. It sounded like Peter Murphy mixed with early guitary Ministry... or something like that.

Nefarium was doing good for a while, and then we lost our core members who moved away to college. We struggled for a while longer with replacement members but the magic never really returned after that. Tension grew with frustration and people eventually left the band due to "creative differences" as often happens. Oh, and I can be a big ass sometimes too!

I took a break for a while and then tried to get back into music by auditioning for a few "vocalist wanted" type ads. I'm not a great singer, but I'm ok... not much high range. All low - as I've been told that I sound like a mixture of Jim Morrison, David Bowie, and Peter Murphy.... to give you an idea. Well, after trying out for a few odd Portland bands... (a couple sorta wanted me, but the music just didn't feel right)... so I gave up on that idea.

After another break, I joined "Written in Ashes" for about six months. I played keyboards for them. Since I had never really formally "played keys" in a band - it was a good learning experience. Trial by fire. Well, I went on the road with them for two weeks and we played most the western states. Turnout was kinda small in most cases but there were a few busy shows. Hollywood was the best... packed. Vegas was fun. The bass player quit after the tour, and the music didn't feel right without his playing style... I quit shortly thereafter, partly for that reason and partly because I was very much into the idea of having female vocals in the mix - and they didn't support that idea. Their music has gotten pretty good in it's current incarnation - and you should check it out at www.writteninashes.com if you like.

So now, I look at dusty equipment and occasionally mess around with them to let out some feelings...

-Chris