| What da hell??! |
| Haven't you ever wished you could just disappear? NO? What planet are you from?! Right now, I wish I weren't here...I wish none of this would have ever happened...I wished I'd never done T. I wish a lot of unwishable things...ya...unwishable...u never thought that could exist huh? Well yah...it does...I'm livin it right now! Ppl have tried to help me...but it's impossible...just when u thought u could touch the sky u get back on Earth seeing that u can't even touch the ceiling, I always thought that when u know sumone doesn't feel the same way u do, what's the point in tellin em what U feel? They're only gonna feel bad that ur alone in this...or laugh in ur face tellin everyone...or just don't care...In this case, the last option is very improbable bcoz ...ya just bcoz. I dunno if anyone's ever gonna understand what I' m writin about except a few ppl on this Earth but if u think u ever felt the same way...lemme know, ok? One thing I would like you to know... I WOULD NEVER HURT U! I might have lost my trust in you, but never in my life I would hurt u on purpose...Hurtin u would be hurting myself...and though I'm quite a masochist...I'm not that bad... Yuu might think bad of me... but here's the deal... Helpin you was my cause...my cause is lost, my battle's lost...The war's over...and guess who won? YOU...isn't that a surprise? With me, ur guaranteed to win...it's not like I would fight back right? and u know that...and u actually take advantage of that...God if u were sumone else, I would've done sumthin but...ur u... unfortunately. I could try to diss u in my head but in your face,never. I wouldn't dare losing what took me months to rebuild. I feel so...lonely. It's the only word I can use...lonely. Why? U have lotsa friends! HAHAHA very funny...my real friends are not a lot...but u know what? It doesn't matter...it's not like they,re always with me , u know. I wouldn't even want em to...I'd kill em, hehe Like "Britney" would say: my loneliness is killin me... I've always wondered if u liked seeing me suffer...I think you're completely aware of what you're doing...I even think u know what's going on inside of me, and I think u care...but not in a good way...If u don't see the pain in my eyes, you are dead blind...but I think u do...these looks...?...sounds familiar, it's the same for me...I don't think u'll ever read this...I would like u too, how would u react to it? That's another question... I guess we'll never know coz it's all over...nuthin will make us like we were b4...nuthin... Can u blame me for losing hope after practically two years? It's been since October 1999 and now we're sumwhere in 2001... The last few days, I had a glimpse of hope and I had to stay positive...don't get me wrong, I did it and did it well...but with sucha pessimistic nature it's obvious "ppl" will suspect sumthin's wrong...well ppl that kinda care in a weird way...or ppl who have a brain...so obviously, u knew sumthin was fishy and u had to do sumthin about it, didn't ya? Now the last fuckin ounce of hope I had is gone and u won again...how strange?no? So wass the point in goin on with this? Nada. Then again, I don't want u to read this.. don't even wanna know...Hehe, funny how ppl think they know me, but...No one could ever guess who u r, they never take me seriously so...Actually I think u couldn't guess either...u'r too caught up in ur own stuff to count the time right? Ppl might think they have an idea of who u r...but they'd be dead wrong...SO PPL GET OUTTA UR HEAD WHO U THINK I M TALKIN ABOUT CUZ IT S NOT! U HAVE NO CLUE WHO I M TALKIN BOUT...BELIEVE ME! Thank u to the person who tried to help me by puttin me on a rollercoaster (hehe, doesn't matter, coz I let u do it...I wanted to believe...DEAD WRONG AGAIN! ) and to the one who listened without sayin anything, the 1st one I had to tell coz I just couldn't bare being alone ( D�c. 1999)...thanx chikaz...i appreciate...U GUYZ r REAL friendz... Back home Email-me Download the song |