Thank you to everyone for your support. I stress again that this is just my imagination at work, and may not match what you imagined. But hey, it's all in good fun. So enjoy. You can email me here or post on the message board.
* * *
Sam rolled over and slowly opened his eyes, squinting at the sunrays that enveloped his bedroom. Turning his head slowly, he tried to focus his eyes on the clock radio on his nightstand. It read 6:17AM. He glanced over his left shoulder tentatively. Lara was still tucked away under the blankets, sound asleep. Sam heaved a silent sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles, he thought.
He pushed himself up in his bed, stretching the sleep out while placing a hand over his mouth to cover a huge yawn. Then, he sat up straighter and tried to clear his head. Suddenly, Sam found himself thinking about Josie Geller and the incredible poems she wrote that he had read the night before.
Warmth filled his heart and soul at the thought of the special gift Josie had given him; a very personal gift unlike anything anyone had ever given him before. Josie seemed to understand him and communicate with him in ways that no one else did� Certainly not Lara. A slight smile curled his lips�but it quickly faded as he remembered that Josie was his seventeen-year-old student, not a potential love interest. She was the last person who should be entering his mind first thing in the morning.
Feeling guilty for the direction of his thoughts, Sam looked over at Lara and studied her for a moment. She was a beautiful woman, he admitted, especially when her features were relaxed in sleep. They used to be so happy�he used to be happy with Lara, in any case. What had happened to change all that? He wondered. And what had happened to make him realize after all this time that he didn't think he still loved her?
He knew the answer, but did not want to acknowledge it, mostly because the answer scared the hell out of him�even if it was true. Josie. Josie Geller had happened to him. In her quiet, unassuming way, his star pupil had managed to turn Sam's life upside down and forced him to take a hard look at himself and his life� And to his surprise he'd discovered that it was lacking. Lara was his girlfriend; the woman he'd faithfully spent the last five years of his life with; the woman he had been planning his future with. Yet for some unfathomable reason he already felt Josie knew him better than Lara did after five years� or ever would, for that matter.
Sam leaned back against the headboard, clasping his fingers together behind his head, and tried to think things over logically and realistically. He was blowing this whole thing out of proportion, he told himself. He had been miserable last night after the scene at the restaurant and Josie's poems just happened to have been about the same subject he was upset about. Last night, it had felt like magic that had lifted him out of his sadness, but in reality, all it had been was a simple coincidence. Moreover, no matter how much of a karmic connection he felt he shared with her, Josie Geller was his teenaged student and that was all she could ever be.
Sadness trickled back into Sam's heart, so that it was much as he had felt the night before�only now it was for a different reason. All Sam knew was that last night while reading Josie's poetry, his sad heart was overwhelmed and saturated with feelings of hope, courage and understanding; but now, in the cold reality of a new day, those feelings drained away leaving his heart feeling empty again.
Sam sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair. He swung his legs out from underneath the blankets and stood. Quietly, he padded over to the bathroom to take a shower, hoping the water would clear his mind. He came out of the bathroom a little while after, a towel wrapped around his waist. He had shaved and looked as fresh as the early morning. Glancing at the bed, he noted that Lara was still sleeping, although she was starting to stir a little. He dropped the towel to the floor and changed into the clothes he had laid out the night before. Then he slowly crept out of the bedroom, silently closing the door behind him, hoping he wouldn't wake Lara. He made his way into the kitchen, but deciding he wasn't hungry, only put on a pot of coffee.
As the coffee brewed, Sam leaned against the kitchen sink and let his eyes roam around his apartment, stopping every now and then to muse on some treasured item or bric-a-brac. He loved his apartment, he loved his job at South Glen South, he loved his friends, and he loved Chicago� So why should he move? A few years ago he probably would have dropped everything in a second to be with Lara, but even back then, when he thought he was madly in love with her, he still couldn't commit, always finding an excuse to delay the move to New York.
All this thinking was giving him a headache, Sam thought. He poured himself a cup of coffee, added his cream and sugar, and then strolled across the room to his office area. He stood for a moment sipping away at his steaming beverage, running his left hand idly along the smooth, worn surface of his desk. Then, without consciously realizing it, he flipped Josie's first poem face-up on the stack. He read over it again and smiled, taking another sip of his coffee. He then turned to his bookshelf and placed his mug on the top shelf as he pulled out his Shakespeare book. He carefully unfolded Josie's poem and read over her words again, letting the sweetness of them wash over him again. As he read, Sam stood smiling, thinking about Josie. He could picture her in his mind, her soft, sweet smile, her alluring voice, her magnificent blue eyes that called out to him�
"What're you looking at?" Lara said sleepily, wrapping her arms around Sam from behind and snuggling into his back.
Her presence startled him and he jumped. Josie's poem slid from his trembling fingers onto the floor. Hastily, he pulled away from Lara to bend down and pick up the fallen piece of paper. He quickly placed it back inside the cover of the book, closed it, and plopped the tome onto his desk with a heavy thud, answering, "What? Oh, nothing�just looking over the reading assignment I gave one of my classes for today." He hoped to heck she believed him, because he didn't want Lara to know he'd been reading Josie's poem. If she knew, she'd probably ask some questions that he didn't know if he could answer.
Lara sensed his agitation. "Geez, Sam, what's up with you?" she asked, looking at him curiously.
"What me?�Nothing!" Sam raised both his eyebrows, smiled and explained rather nervously, "You just startled me is all."
Lara continued to look at Sam peculiarly.
Sam backed up against his desk, surreptitiously blocking Lara's view of his Shakespeare book. Out of sight, out of mind, he hoped. He didn't want her spying in it�and she would, if she thought there was a reason to. Now, where had that thought come from, he wondered?
But Lara just shrugged her shoulders, sauntered over to Sam, and pressed herself against him, effectively trapping him between herself and the desk. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Sam," she crooned, and then nuzzled at his neck. "Come back to bed�I want to give you something." Lara spoke softly, seductively, and then trailed small kisses along Sam's neck and jaw line.
The familiar, instinctive sensation of desire started to burn at the touch of her breath and lips to his neck. It was a weakness of his, and Lara knew it. But something was different today. As irrational as it was, he felt almost as if he were betraying Josie somehow by being with Lara this way. Especially while his heart and mind were so filled by the words and emotions from Josie's poems.
Sam reached up to untangle Lara's arms from around his neck and then gently pushed her away. "Lara, I'm sorry�I can't, okay?" He gestured toward the piles of papers on his desk and continued nervously, "I have all this work I still have to do. In fact, I was going to take this all with me and head over to work early. I'm just so behind."
Lara was stunned. This was new�Sam was refusing her advances? "What is up with you!?" She demanded, infuriated and crossing her arms across her chest. Then a thought occurred to her and she softened visibly, trying to win him over, "Are you still mad about last night? Because..."
"No�I just�"
The phone starting ringing, interrupting his explanation. Sam breathed an internal sigh of relief, welcoming the interruption. He bolted over to the phone and picked up the receiver.
"Hello?" he answered, a little breathlessly.
"Hi, Sam!" Then after a moment, he heard, "Whoa, I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"
A shiver went up Sam's spine as his mind registered the voice on the other end. "Hi, Amanda. No, you didn't interrupt anything�" he replied, glancing pointedly at Lara.
Sam's reaction to Amanda's voice was worse than having fingernails scraped down a blackboard. He couldn't help but hold the receiver a few inches away from his ear to minimize the damage to his nerves. He was unfortunately not surprised that he could still hear her screeching as she blabbed away about the night before.
Finally, Amanda asked, "Well, then, is Lara there?"
"Yeah, yeah�just a minute; I'll get her for you."
Lara slowly walked toward Sam, staring him straight in the eyes. She was livid about Sam's 'not interrupting anything' comment.
"It's for you," Sam said, holding out the phone receiver as far away from his body as he could, as if he were snake handling.
Lara retrieved the telephone from Sam and aimed one last barbed look at him before greeting Amanda.
Sam never thought he'd think it, but he was actually glad (for once) that Amanda had called. He saw this as a golden opportunity to escape and leave for work early without having to make excuses to Lara for his behavior. He hurried over to his desk, shoved his Shakespeare tome back into its place on the bookshelf, then collected his papers and slid them into his briefcase. He took another few sips from his now-lukewarm coffee, and then carried the cup into the kitchen to dump out the rest. He filled his travel mug, crossed the living room again to grab his bag, and then walked over to stand beside Lara, who was curled up in his leather armchair, giggling on the phone with Amanda. Sam stood impatiently, waiting for an opportunity to break into their conversation to say goodbye.
Lara glanced up and noticed him standing there. "Hold on a sec Amanda," and then proceeded to cover the mouthpiece with her hand.
"I'm gonna get going. I'll call you later, okay?" Sam said carefully, afraid of what Lara's reaction would be to this news.
Lara's lips curled into a half-impish, half-sneering grin. "Actually� Amanda just invited me to spend the day with her, so I probably won't be here until later on this afternoon after you get back from work."
If Amanda had been present at that moment, Sam swore he would have kissed her for saving him from Lara's wrath. Sam nodded and replied enthusiastically, "That's great!" He then bent down and gently placed a kiss on Lara's cheek. He turned walked to the apartment door, picking up his keys from the side table. He waved once more at Lara and then turned the knob to let himself out. But before he closed the door, he heard Lara's voice raise with emphasis, "At least someone cares about me enough to take the day off!"
Sam rolled his eyes as he shut the door behind him. He still could not believe that someone as air headed and completely annoying as Amanda was the Vice President of Consumer Relations in the Midwestern US office for Lanc�me, a very prestigious cosmetic company. The thought of her dealing with distributors as well as customers with that screechy voice sent shivers back down his spine. Glancing back over his shoulder at his closed apartment door, he muttered, "God! They probably pay her not to come in!"
* * *
Anita marched into Gus's office ready to have it out with him. Gus raised his head, his eyes meeting Anita's stare as she stood glaring down at him.
"What do you want Anita?" Gus huffed at her. "Don't you have any work to do?"
Anita spoke firmly. "Gus, I want you to lay off Josie!"
Gus dropped his pen onto his desk and leaned back into his chair. "Excuse me, but the last time I looked, I was Editor in Chief, the boss, head honcho, King of the newspaper world as you know it and you're telling me what to do!?"
Anita was not impressed. "Give it up, Augustus! This is Josie's first time out there." Trying a softer approach, she said, "Just give her some time, she'll get the job done."
"Geller is in way over her head!" Gus bellowed, but then he defended, "Believe it or not I'm on her side. I'm actually trying to save her butt from being fired! Do you think Rigfort cares if this is her first assignment or not? To him, it's this simple; if she doesn't deliver the goods, then she's out the door like that!" Gus snapped his fingers. "Look, not that it matters, but I have everything under control."
Anita perched herself on the corner of Gus's desk and asked curiously, "What's that supposed to mean? What are you up to, Gus?"
Gus got up from his desk, walked over to the TV and proceeded to turn it on.
"Oh my God!" Anita's mouth hung open in shock. "Is that�"
"Yes it is. From now on, Geller will be under my watchful eye. I'll be able to see everything she does and I'll look for a story for her." As he noticed Anita's darkening expression, he explained petulantly, "It's for her own good."
Anita was furious. "I can't believe this Gus! This is low, even for you!"
"Anita, this is the newspaper world, you can't get any lower than that!"
Gus's phone rang and he went back over to his desk, taking a seat and then picked up the phone, while Anita sat mesmerized, staring at the TV.
"What!" Gus stood up from his desk, phone in hand. "I'll be right there!"
Anita turned to Gus and asked, "What's wrong?"
"It looks like our intern got his arm stuck in the printing presses again! Our insurance is gonna go through the roof!" He rolled his eyes heavenward in a 'Why me?' gesture.
Gus stalked toward his office door and through it, muttering to himself, "How does he do that?" Then he stopped and popped his head back in. "Anita! You better not be here when I get back or you're fired!"
"Ohhh, I'm shaking!'" she said, continuing to stare at the TV. Suddenly thoughts of Gus and his idle threat flew from her mind as an incredibly attractive man came onscreen.
Anita's eyes widened. "Hello!"
* * *
Josie sat at her desk, staring at Sam as he efficiently prepared himself for the lesson ahead. It seemed that each day she saw Sam, he appeared more and more handsome than the day before. And his voice! His deep, smooth voice never failed to send pleasant shivers up and down her spine. She found herself studying Sam's tall, athletic body while thinking, 'Yes Anita, he does have a hot bod!' She could feel herself blush with the knowledge that Sam Coulson was stirring and awakening desires inside her that lay dormant for years...for her whole life, actually. Josie's heart skipped a beat and she drew in a breath as Sam suddenly sent a warm smile her way.
"Good morning, everyone," Sam said cheerfully as he walked out from behind his desk, coffee mug in hand.
"Good morning, Mr. Coulson!" intoned Guy, Tommy and Jason while sitting with their backs straight in their chairs and hands clasped tight and resting on their desks, acting like 2nd Grade students.
"Ha, ha�very funny guys!" Sam quickly thought he'd get the upper hand on them. He put down his coffee, leaned up against his desk casually, and crossed his arms and ankles in front of him.
"Well, since you guys feel like being comedians, why don't you volunteer to read your papers out loud to the class?" Sam paused before adding, "We all feel like being entertained, don't we class?"
The class erupted into laughter while the color drained from the faces of all three boys. Sam continued, on a roll, "So, who wants to go first? Jason?"
Jason stared blankly at Sam. "Sir, I'm feeling really sick. Can I be excused?"
Sam shook his head, crossing his arms against his chest. "It's 'May I be excused,' and the answer is no." Turning to spear him with a look, Sam said, "What about you, Tommy?"
Tommy was flabbergasted. "Well, it's like this Mr. Coulson. Um�my dog ate my homework! Then he laughed nervously.
"Really?" Sam was not impressed. "Well, it's like this, Tommy. Unless you somehow find a way to get your dog to regurgitate your homework by 3:30 this afternoon, then you get a big fat F on this assignment. Okay?"
Tommy sank back down into his chair.
"Two down and one to go." Sam then made eye contact with Guy. "Guy, what do you have to offer us?"
Guy looked around to his classmates, but instead of coming up with a lame excuse for not having done his homework, he stood up. "I have my homework, Sir."
Sam looked pleased. "Good. You can start whenever you're ready." Sam settled himself into a comfortable position on the edge of his desk and glanced over at Josie. She was smiling at him. Sam returned the smile.
* * *
By the time the class was more than halfway through, Sera, Gibby, and Brett had all read their essays. Sam glanced down at his watch. "Well, it looks like we only have enough time for one more." Sam decided that now was the time. He desperately wanted to hear Josie's essay, but he acted nonchalant as he looked around the room, and then settled his eyes on Josie.
"Josie. Would you like to read your essay?" he asked, smiling to her.
Josie beamed and nodded her head. Sam readied himself and sat on the corner of his desk. He clasped his hands together in his lap and waited for her to begin.
Josie slowly stood up, her essay in hand and was about to begin reading when she suddenly developed an overwhelming case of stage fright. Josie had read many times in front of Sam's class, however, this time she would be reading her own work. She was terrified, thinking back yet again to her high school days and how her classmates laughed and taunted her when she read her poem to Billy Prince. Josie didn't think she could survive that kind of torture again.
Josie looked up over the edge of her paper to Sam, who by now had a worried expression on his face. He sensed her fear and wanted to alleviate it somehow. Sam held her gaze, trying to send her the courage that he knew she now needed. He nodded to Josie, smiling, his expression telling her that everything was going to be okay; his eyes sending her a message saying 'Don't be afraid. I believe in you.'
Josie read the message in Sam's eyes loud and clear and then smiled. Under his approving eye, not only did she regain her strength, it oozed from every pore. Josie began to read.
Sam sat staring; listening to Josie's lovely voice as it floated across the room and ebbed into the farthest reaches of his soul. As she continued, Sam could feel his heart swell�with what he did not know, or he did, but was not ready to face what that would mean. So instead, he simply gazed at her, drinking in her beauty and letting her voice weave itself around him, finding its way home.
Josie raised her head, her eyes glistening when they met Sam's wondrous gaze. Josie continued and Sam let her weave her magic. Again her words stirred inside of him, eliminating the darkness that lay deep inside and, instead, filled him with a luminous glow. Her words healed him, much as they had done the night before when he had read her poems. He was simply in awe of her talent, her intelligence, her beauty, and the way she breathed life into every word that she spoke.
"And so, it is Rosalind in disguise, who is best able to see though the disguises of others: to say to Phoebe, 'Mistress know thyself,' to look at love from every angle, and to realize, finally, that she is in love with Orlando. To free both hearts, not in judgment, but in equality."
As she finished, Sam awoke, as if from a trance. "Thank you. That's really well written, Josie." He sent her a warm smile and Josie relished in it.
Sam Coulson thought Josie Geller was extraordinary�but he was yet to discover that before him stood the woman that he was destined to hold in his arms, in the cold shadows of the night, for the rest of his life.
* * *
Just before the end of the period, Sam took out the poetry assignments he had marked the night before and earlier that morning.
"Okay, everyone. I just want to say congratulations. You all did a great job on the poems you submitted. I was really impressed!" Sam then proceeded to wander around the room handing out their papers.
Josie felt a knot form in her stomach and her breathing become heavy as her mind went over the poems she written. Sam neared Josie's chair. He handed Aldys her paper and said smiling down to her, "I really liked your poem, Aldys. Very well written."
"Thank you, Mr. Coulson." She grinned back.
Sam turned and placed Josie's paper facedown onto her desk. He then bent down and whispered in her ear. "Josie. Can I see you after class?"
Josie looked up to him and simply nodded, her voice failing to deliver a response. The sensation of Sam's hot breath as he'd whispered in her ear and the nearness of his intense hazel, green eyes staring down at her had rendered Josie temporarily mute. Sam smiled down at her and then continued to wander about the room distributing the papers.
Josie then looked down to her desk, turned over her paper and read Sam's comment. "Truly beautiful, Josie. Your words touched me." Josie glowed with pride. Then her mind registered the fact that Sam had just asked her to stay behind so he could speak to her alone. She suddenly felt ill. 'What on earth could he want?' she thought to herself. Her worried expression did not go unnoticed by Aldys.
"Josie�what's wrong?" she said, leaning across the aisle to speak to her.
"Who me? I'm okay," she said while staring down at Sam's bold handwriting along the top of her page.
"What did Mr. Coulson say to you?"
"He wants to see me after class. That's all."
"Geez. What do you think he wants?"
Before Josie could answer, the bell rang signaling the end of the period. A herd of frantic students trampled down the steps, passing Josie and making their quick getaway out the door. Sam yelled out, "Remember to leave your papers on my desk!"
Aldys got up from her chair, slung her bag over her shoulder and stepped out in front of Josie's chair. "Hey listen, don't worry. Mr. Coulson is really cool. I doubt it will be anything bad."
"Thanks, Aldys." But Josie only became more nervous as she watched her friend walk away.
Josie sat quietly staring at her desk while the last of the students made their way out the door. Suddenly she felt a tap on her right shoulder and she turned, expecting to see Sam behind her, but as a joke to break the tension he had quickly moved to her left side. Josie turned her head again to see Sam standing there, smiling down at her.
"You wanted to see me?" Josie asked shyly.
"Yeah I did." Sam leaned up against Aldys's desk, almost sitting on top of it.
"Actually Josie, I wanted to talk to you about your writing." Sam said, still smiling at her.
Josie panicked. "Oh! Have I done something wrong, because�"
"No, no, no." Sam shook his head, placing a steadying hand on her shoulder briefly to calm her. "In fact, I wanted to thank you."
"Really?" Josie was stunned. "What for?"
Sam shifted his weight on the desk before answering. "For your poem�or poems, I should say�they were both so beautifully written."
Josie sat in amazement, her mind trying to process what Sam had just said.
He continued speaking honestly, earnestly. "You know, I don't think I've ever come across a piece of writing from one of my students that has so profoundly affected me. I was truly impressed Josie."
"Really?" She said again. She couldn't believe this.
Sam nodded encouragingly.
Josie was beaming, unable to hide the pure bliss pulsating through her veins. "Thank you�Thank you. Gosh, you know for a minute there, I thought you were going to tell me that you hated them."
"God no! In fact, I've been really impressed with all your work, Josie." Sam leaned in a little toward Josie as if he were sharing a confidence. "You know, half the time I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall�like no matter what I do, they just don't get it!" he said motioning around the now- empty class. "So it's really refreshing to have someone who understands and appreciates literature the way I do. You know what I mean?"
Josie nodded; enthralled by the way Sam's face glowed as he spoke.
Sam examined Josie's face for a moment, her blue eyes absorbing his own. He swallowed hard, composing himself before continuing. "So, it's obvious that you enjoy writing Josie; you're certainly very good at it."
"Yes, I do. I know a lot people think its stupid, but�"
"I know what you mean. Believe me! But as you said in your poem�um, over here�" Sam leaned over Josie, his right hand resting on the back of her chair, using his left index finger to scan down her poem. Their heads were now separated by only a few inches. "Here it is�" Sam proceeded to read aloud from her poem. "Let not others cheapen or weaken it, or titter at thy sentiment, for the mind and spirit are one�"
Sam continued to read while Josie tried to conceal her nervousness. He was leaning so close to her that she swore she could smell just a hint of aftershave and it was having a surprisingly odd affect on Josie. It made her feel almost dizzy, but a good kind of dizzy, she decided.
Meanwhile, Sam continued, "To carry your song across its kingdom and embrace those who will delight and rejoice in it." He turned to look directly into Josie's eyes. "See?" He noticed their closeness and quickly pulled back.
He cleared his throat self-consciously, and then said, "See, Josie? You wrote it yourself. Don't ever let anyone take away from you what you hold dear in here." He pointed to his heart. "Because�" Sam was suddenly lost for words as he could feel himself drowning in Josie's eyes. "�well, you know what I mean."
"I do know what you mean." Josie and Sam stared at each other for a long moment. The warning bell sounded, breaking them from their mutual reverie.
Sam shook his head a little, wanting to get back on track. "You know, Josie, I have no doubt in my mind that with your writing, you'll get into any college that you want," he said, proudly. "Do you mind me asking which schools you've applied to?"
A huge knot formed in the pit of Josie's stomach. She hated lying to Sam, so she thought it best if she dodged the question. "Well, actually," she said glancing down at her watch, "I really should get going." She gathered her papers together. "I have history with Mrs. Knox and she kinda has a thing about people being late for her class."
Sam couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I've seen the sombrero. Not a good look!"
"I know." Josie picked up her bag and both Sam and Josie stood up and walked over to the door in silence. Josie then stopped and turned to Sam. "Umm�Mr. Coulson?" Josie looked embarrassed.
"Yes, Josie?"
"I noticed that you only gave me back one of my poems and�"
"Oh!" Now it was Sam's turn to feel embarrassed. "Well, actually, I kept the other one. I hope its okay? I had assumed that..."
"No, its fine," Josie interrupted him. "I wrote it for you. I mean�I wanted you to keep it." Josie suddenly felt girlish and foolish and she was sure her face had turned a nice bright crimson.
Sam stood, with both hands in his pockets smiling down at Josie. With great feeling, he said, "Thank you, Josie. It meant a great deal to me."
Tears shimmered in Josie's eyes as she saw by the look on his face that he really meant it. They locked eyes again and stood motionless for several seconds. Then the bell signaling the beginning of the next period rang. They both paused in the awkward moment, before Sam broke the silence.
"Well, I guess that means you need a note now, huh?" He walked back over to his desk and grabbed a piece of paper from the top of his yellow legal pad. "Sorry about that. I really didn't mean to keep you so long�" Sam apologized.
"That's okay, really," responded Josie, inching closer to where he stood, bent over the desk writing her note.
"Hey listen, if Mrs. Knox gives you a hard time, you just tell her to come see me. Okay?" He held the note out to Josie and she took it from him, their fingers just brushing each other's in the exchange. Sam held his breath as he felt a jolt of energy shoot up his arm from the contact.
Josie inhaled sharply and then nodded. "Okay, bye," she replied softly. And with that Josie hastily exited the classroom. Sam stared after her and couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride for Josie. She was truly an amazing student. He didn't dare think about the rest.
* * *Next installment coming soon* * *
* * *