Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I'm just toying with them
This story is based on the idea that Sam isn't quite the immediately forgiving kind he is shown as in the film. All comments are welcome (and wanted!) at '[email protected]'. Enjoy!
* * *
Sam returned the paper to the coffee table and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself down. The article Josie had written addressed all his doubts and fears and quashed them all, yet the feeling of betrayal and hurt did not subside.
He wanted to believe that her sentiments and apology were sincere, but the way in which she wanted him to acknowledge them seemed...suspicious.
'It's another trap', he thought. If what she had written was true, she would know that to reconcile in front of so many people in such a media-friendly way would not be appropriate. If she had wanted to prove that her interest in him had nothing to do with her job as a journalist she would not have been so insensitive as to insist he declare his feelings for her in front of the very media he had first thought she was trying to exploit him with.
Obviously her undercover story and been blown apart, and so she no doubt would be in trouble with her Editor, her job may even be at stake, and so he would insist she find some other way to ensure she had a big story. How better to get it than to abuse Sam's undoubted attraction to her to secure front page headlines?
The pain that coursed through his heart was severe, the past five weeks had been so special for him. Meeting this amazing, intelligent attractive seventeen year old had been the best and worst experience of his life. Josie had opened his eyes to real love, aroused his senses and made him believe that maybe there is such a thing as Miss Right. She had caused him to realise how stifling his relationship with Lara was and allowed him to really be himself around her, but she was only seventeen, or so he had thought. He had never felt so liberated and yet so trapped all at once. At many points, particularly at the fair ground and on Prom Night, he had almost believed she had similar feelings for him too, but this final, cruel trick only served to confirm his worst fears that she was a fraud, a cruel abuser of trust and emotion.
He opened his eyes, allowing a solitary tear to run down his cheek. 'No,' he thought 'I wont let her do this to me' as he fiercely wiped the errant salt water from his face. He was not going to let her have this effect on him.
He rose from his over-stuffed leather armchair and walked across his bare lounge into the kitchen, momentarily pausing by the TV, one of the last things he had left to pack. He knew the event would be televised, but he did not want to subject himself to the pain of seeing the woman who he thought he loved waiting triumphantly in her media saturated trap for him to arrive. Instead he entered the kitchen, picked up the phone and dialled.
"Hello?" came the soft female answer.
"Abby, it's me...look I know this is a bit sudden but I need to stay with you for a little while..."
* * *
Josie stood on the pitchers mound, looking around the massive crowd but not really taking anything in. All she could really see was the clock. She had been stood there for just over four minutes now and as the countdown approached 40 seconds the cheers from the crowd were reaching fever pitch. However, despite the continuous sounds of encouragement from the crowd, Josie had a terrible feeling inside. Something told her that Sam wasn't going to be coming.
The article she had written was a good effort but she knew it in no way even started to compensate for what she had done to him. She had tricked and deceived Sam at every turn and she had no right to expect him to forgive her, especially when she had asked him to forgive her in such a public way. What she had wanted to do was let Rigfort do his worst to her for blowing her cover and then quietly, later, make contact with Sam and try to explain her motives. But Gus wouldn't hear of it, the whole office was well aware of the strong attraction between Sam and Josie and in Gus' mind, a public reconciliation was the only way he and Josie could hope to save their jobs. So, against her will Josie was told to write the article. Her original brief had been just to make the declaration of love, but she knew this would sound completely insincere and so tried to squeeze something of an explanation in too.
But Sam was an intelligent, sensitive man, and she knew he'd deserved so much better than a two page spread and hundreds of swarming media.
As the clock reached ten seconds Josie looked down at her hands, they were visibly shaking as she gripped the microphone in the hope it would somehow act as a crutch, something to lean on as she felt herself growing weaker and weaker with sadness and fear.
"3....!" The screams grew louder and louder and Josie was dimly aware of the entire crowd rising to its feet looking round expectantly for the appearance of the 'mystery' man.
"2....!" Josie looked to her best friend Anita, who was gripping Gus' arm, while looking terrified for Josie.
"1....!"Aldys took a step forward from the dug-out as if to run toward Josie but then held back.
"0....!" The cheers all of a sudden died down into stunned silence. All the eyes that had up till then been looking around for the entry of this mystery man now turned to Josie, alone and vulnerable on the pitchers mound. Against her will, Josie felt big fat tears roll down her cheeks. It was more than she could bear. She knew she deserved it, but her ardent love for Sam had managed to keep a tiny flame of hope alive in her, which was now put out by her tears. She looked to her hands again, and she knew the microphone would in no way support her now. She let it drop to the ground and was about to raise her hands to her face when she realised she couldn't do this. She wouldn't break down in public.
Instead, she looked up and blinked away her tears as best she could. The warm evening breeze blew across her bare arms and face, a comforting caress. She looked to the crowd who were looking at her with pity in their eyes, and shrugged. She tried to smile, but the action felt so unnatural it served only to spur on her tears, which now fell in earnest and there was nothing she could do to stop them.
Everything around her began spinning and she felt unsure of her balance, just then she felt a pair of strong arms sweep her up in a hug.
"C'mon sis, let's get you inside. You look like you need a large shot of whiskey and lots of brotherly hugs." Rob whispered into her hair, hugging her tightly.
Josie was not aware of the walk to the dug-out, she barely noticed as a weeping Aldys enveloped her in a huge hug and she didn't react when even Gus came over to console with her.
"I think you need some company right now, hey?" said Anita warmly, rubbing Josie's back as she handed her a cup of steaming coffee.
Josie briefly surfaced from her thoughts to look up at Anita. Her face was puffy and red and her eyes were totally bloodshot from crying, "Actually, I'd really like to be alone. I think...I think I'll just go home, if you don't mind. I need to think."
Anita looked worriedly at Josie, "Well...if you're sure. But at least let me drive you home. You're in no state at all to get there yourself."
Josie nodded and tried to smile again, "Thanks Anita, I just want to get away from here."
Josie's forced smile faded 'I need to get away from here, from my memories of Sam, but where can I go? I know he's going to follow me everywhere...' she thought as she was led out to Anita's waiting car.
* * *
The following morning Sam woke at around 9am. He had slept fitfully, his dreams being so real he kept waking himself to make sure they weren't. In his dreams he had been on his way to the baseball stadium, to Josie, but when he arrived all that was there was a troop of laughing camera men.
He pushed back his covers and slung his legs over the edge of his sofa, sitting for a little while. His bed was already packed up, ready for the movers to take it to his new apartment on the other side of town, closer to South Glen South.
He glanced at the clock. He had about two hours before he had to be at the airport for his flight to visit his sister.
He knew he wouldn't be able to face school that day, or any day soon for that matter. He needed a break and some counsel, and when it came to sorting out Sam's problems, Abby was always the best option. A late night call to the Principal had secured him a week off, and he was looking forward to getting away to a town where the name 'Josie Geller' was foreign.
Sam showered quickly and then dressed in a white polo T-shirt and dark blue jeans, not bothering to shave or fix his hair. There just didn't seem any point.
Then, after a cup of coffee, he picked up his bag and left the apartment. He left his spare key with the woman on the security desk in the lobby of his block for the movers and then went to check his mail. There were two bills, a copy of the Sun Times and a hand written envelope.
He knew the Sun Times would no doubt carry the story of what happened last night and he considered leaving it, but his curiosity was too strong for even his hurt and anger to control and he ended up stuffing it into his bag along with the letters. He then walked outside to hail a cab to the airport.
* * *
Josie had not slept at all that night. She had sat up on her sofa watching TV all night in a bid to distract herself from the misery and grief that flooded her every time she was left to her own devices. She had sat through 4 nature documentaries and countless tacky old films yet despite her pointed concentration on what was going on on the screen, Sam still crept into her thoughts.
In one of the documentaries they had started to describe how Adele Penguins mated for life, and remembering what she had said in the sex-education class and remembering how Sam had overheard, she felt the tears well up again, so she flicked over to another channel only to have to endure the end of 'Pretty Woman'.
Finally at around 9am she gave up and decided to go out. She needed coffee and she needed to be around other people: not to talk to, just to watch. Being alone served only as a brutal reminder of how the rest of her life was bound to pan out.
Dressing in an old pair of jeans and her favourite over-sized black Cashmere sweater, she headed out of her house to Nanas.
She ordered a large cappuccino and took a window seat. She purposefully avoided the newspaper rack and chose to sit, gazing out onto the street. It was, unfittingly, a beautiful sunny morning, and she watched desolately as children went scampering past in summer clothes, laughing. Roller bladers zipped past, enjoying the caress of the warm morning sun, and couples wandered past, hands intertwined, seemingly oblivious to anything else but eachother.
Josie's thoughts, as she knew they would, turned again to Sam. Part of her still refused to believe what had happened last night, choosing to think instead that he hadn't read the article and that he would no doubt come racing to her door that afternoon, full of apologies and wanting to make up. But the larger part of her, the sensible part, knew this wasn't so.
'He's made himself quite clear. He doesn't forgive me...' Josie thought to herself, frowning down at her foamy cappuccino. 'And who can blame him? I'm an awful person.'
"Don't beat yourself up about it," came a soothing voice from above her. Josie jumped and looked up. It was Aldys. "It may not be as bad as you think," she finished.
Josie could tell by the tone of her voice that she was trying to convince herself of that, as well as Josie.
"Hi, Aldys. Sit down." Josie said, smiling weakly.
Aldys did so and took Josie's hand in hers. "Josie, please, don't give up so easily. I know it seems awful right now, but trust me, I have a feeling you haven't lost yet."
Josie almost laughed, sweet Aldys, it was nice of her to try to cheer her up, but did she know how ridiculous that sounded?
"You do? Well, let's see, I publicly apologize, set myself up for public humiliation and he doesn't turn up. If that's not losing, what is?"
Aldys smiled. "I know... But think about it. The reason it all went wrong between you two in the first place was because he thought you were going to exploit him for your own gain, and last night... Well it was hardly the most subtle of approaches was it? He probably thought it was a last ditch attempt to get your headline. He hasn't heard the full story yet!"
Josie looked up sharply at Aldys, surprised. If it was possible for Aldys to realise what she had about the situation, then maybe Aldys was right. Maybe she did still have a chance with Sam.
"Aldys! I had been thinking that myself, but Gus wouldn't back down. I owed it to him, I didn't mind about losing my job, but I couldn't let him take the blame too, so I wrote the story, made the offer. But all the while I had been thinking exactly what you just said!"
Josie reached out with her other hand and gripped Aldys hand. "Do you think I can still make him understand?"
Aldys squeezed her hand back harder "I know you can. Josie, the man loves you. I know it; you know it. He owes you the chance to explain. And so... please don't be angry... I... kind of wrote him a letter asking him to meet up with you. Tonight. At his place."
Josie's jaw fell open. "Aldys!! Oh my word, tonight? Oh god..." Josie was shaking again, the prospect of seeing him so soon after last night's humiliation terrified her.
"You can do it, Josie. You have to do it. If you don't, I will lose faith in all things romantic," Aldys said with a smile.
Josie looked up at Aldys and smiled weakly...
* * *
Sam's flight left on schedule and he settled onto the plane, gazing out of the window as Chicago grew smaller and smaller. He stretched his legs out in front of him and decided to open the mail he got earlier.
The first was a telephone bill, huge and not very nice. The second was a credit card bill, also unpleasant. The third however looked more promising. Opening it, he saw it was a letter.
'Dear Mr. Coulson...' it began.
'Mr. Coulson!?' Sam thought, stunned. Who would write him a letter and call him 'Mr. Coulson?'
"I hope you don't mind me writing to you, but I feel I have to. After you didn't turn up last night, I knew something was terribly wrong."
Sam shifted uncomfortably in his seat; he wasn't sure he wanted to read the rest of the letter. He didn't know if he was ready to deal with the consequences of last night yet, but again, his burning curiosity got the better of him and he continued reading.
"Last night over 5,000 people turned up to see Josie Geller get her man. It was a media hive! Camera men were everywhere and the Sun Times staff and reporters were crawling all over the place, self-important grins all over their faces for securing such a story. So, after the undercover reporter debacle, I can understand exactly why you didn't want to come. It seemed like a trap didn't it? I can see how the article Josie wrote might have seemed like a last ditch attempt to get her front page... But if I told you she was forced to write that article against her will...and that she only agreed because she thought that maybe if she gave you the same ability to hurt her as she had hurt you, you might forgive her...would that make a difference?"
"Josie really only wanted the chance to explain things to you, to make things right. She loves you very much, Mr. Coulson. I think you owe her the chance to explain to you properly. In private, and in person. So... I hope you don't mind, but I am arranging for her to come to your apartment this evening, at around eight, to try and explain what happened. Please give her the chance. Aldys Wells."
All of a sudden Sam felt a little sick. The letter Aldys wrote addressed his fears perfectly, and for the first time since the event at the Prom, he started to see things from Josie's point of view. Could it be possible that what Aldys wrote was correct? Panic beginning to set in, Sam searched frantically in his carry-on bag for his copy of the Sun-Times.
The first thing he saw upon looking at the front page was a large photograph of Josie, her face buried in her hands, obviously crying, and the headline "Still Never Been Kissed." Immediately Sam realised what he had done. His hand flew to his mouth, as if to stop himself from crying out her name in anguish, as he felt tears pricking behind his eyes.
How could he have been so stupid!? There was an explanation for what Josie had done and he hadn't even had the sense or decency to acknowledge this fact, let alone let her express it. And now, he was on his way to San Francisco while tonight Josie would arrive at his apartment only to be told he had moved away! She would probably think he'd gone back to Lara!
The thought of the pain he had already caused her and the pain he was going to cause her was overwhelming. Making a hasty excuse, he clambered over the person in the seat next to him, rushed to the lavatory, and was sick.
A short time later, shivering in a ball on the floor of the tiny airplane bathroom, Sam knew without a doubt he had just lost Josie forever. She might have been able to forgive him for snubbing her once... but twice? That was just out of the question. Laying his forehead against the cool metal of the sink, Sam just let his anguish pour out of him, rolling down his cheeks in the form of tears. 'God,' he thought to himself, 'I will never love again.'
* * *
To Be Continued
* * *