Soulmates, Part 4
By Santoori

Date Posted: August 15, 2000

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Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and do not receive money for my writing. Comments and suggestions are welcome at [email protected] or the message board. Which ever you find more convenient. Thank you for your interest in my writing.

Click here to hear "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2

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Sam's thoughts were with Josie as he made the return journey home later that night. Spending the evening with her had somehow renewed his spirit. He smirked and raised an eyebrow at the clich� sound of the expression. But it applied whole-heartedly to him. All things considered, the day had surprisingly turned out well and was not the gut-wrenching torture he had expected it to be.

It was around 1am when he opened his front door and stepped inside his apartment. All the lights were off and the moon cast an eerie shadow over all his furnishings through the skylight, making him shudder. The feelings and emotions that had been burdening him for the past few weeks but had decided to lay down for this evening, were there waiting to confront him like a houseguest that had overstayed his welcome. They rushed at him when he opened the door and Sam felt energy drain out of his body through his legs.

Sam wondered why of late, he felt this way every time he returned to his apartment. Shouldn't a person feel relief at returning to their home instead of dreading it?

In the darkness, Sam saw a red light on his answering machine blinking, indicating that he had two new messages. He approached the machine filled with half-hope and half fear that it would be Lara. He played the tape. He felt relief when he heard it was Abby, " Sam! You move quickly don't you?" Sam remembered that he had left the apartment soon after his conversation with his sister. " I just spoke to Mom and she says she hasn't heard from you in over a week. Give her a call soon will ya? Call me if you need anything ok? Bye!"

The second message, however, was from Lara. She said simply, "Sam, I am returning your call. But it seems that you are out. I have something very important to tell you. Please call." Then Sam heard the click of Lara of ending the call. He looked at his watch, worked out the time difference mentally and decided that he would try calling Lara. From the sound of her voice, it sounded really serious. Sam expected that she would have a very good excuse for avoiding him and he wanted to hear it. Although Sam would never admit it, he was ever the optimist when it came to people. Unfortunately, this meant he usually ending up being sorely disappointed and very hurt when they let him down.

Lara's phone rang and rang. But there was no answer. Feeling guilty, thinking that she was asleep and he would be disturbing her, he hung up. She must be really tired to let the phone ring like that. Usually, she would never let her phone go unanswered, he thought.

Sam looked around his sparsely decorated apartment and felt so empty inside. He had moved into this building a few months ago, but he was far from being settled in. He then thought of the huge fight he had with Lara over taking a job in Chicago instead of looking for one in New York. That was the last time he had seen her. They had exchanged Christmas Greetings and New Years wishes over the phone. Lara refused to spend the Holidays with Sam's family saying that she had promised to spend the time with her parents instead. Sam, had for the sake of peace, suggested splitting the Holiday between the two families but Lara would not budge. Once she made her mind up, there was no changing it. Sam felt so hurt by Lara's callous nature but as usual said nothing.

He sat down heavily into his armchair and kicked off his shoes and raised his knees to support his chin. He wrapped his arms around his legs and rocked back and forth gently in his seat. He was miserable and could not find any comfort. He rested his forehead on his knees and let out an agonizing sigh. Sam reflected on his life.

All that mattered to Lara these days was her career. She was so driven and ambitious that Sam feared even thinking of starting a family in her presence. Unlike Lara, Sam realized that life meant precious little without the warmth of your family and loved ones. And that just a simple message from his sister had meant more to him then Abby could possibly know right now. Sam's family was scattered across the States with his sister in San Francisco and his brother in New York.

He picked up the stereo remote control and clicked the random button for the CD player, letting the machine try and find a song to suit his blue mood. Maybe Fate had played a hand in this but Sam forgot that he had earlier left his U2 CD � The Joshua Tree- in the player and it was now playing "I still haven't found what I'm looking for."

The lyrics hit home hard. Sam found the words were speaking directly to his heart and that Bono was singing about his own life. Sam swallowed back the tears of sadness. Even though Sam was in a relationship, he had never felt more alone. Lara was his girlfriend in name only. And the attachment and closeness they had once shared in college was now a fading memory. His friends had warned him that long distance relationships have a poor chance of surviving and as time marched on, Sam had the sinking feeling that they had been right. The past year had given Sam the opportunity to see Lara in a more objective light. She was either changing or her true self was coming to the fore. Sam was not a judgmental person and therefore did not think that Lara was becoming a bad person as such. He just felt that what he was looking for in a relationship with someone who would eventually be his wife was not present in the one that he has with Lara. He considered himself to be a one-woman kind of guy and had remained faithful to Lara during their time apart but her behavior had changed so drastically towards him that intuitively he felt that she was on the lookout for someone better if she hadn't already found someone.

Lara had become so enamoured with power and status that she often forgot her manners when she was in the presence of those she considered lesser than herself. Taking her to a restaurant had now become an ordeal for Sam. The embarrassment he experienced at the hands of her snobbery and snootiness made him think twice before suggesting it. But this evening, Josie had been different, wonderful company. Sam was convinced that Josie did not possess a single nasty fiber in her. Josie possessed a sweet modesty and an even temper, which could only endear her to everyone who, spent time with her. He had to smile at the memory of her surprised look when he offered her Lara's ticket. The way she gasped and looked utterly flabbergasted at the suggestion.Josie is too cute, thought Sam. Thinking of Josie automatically put Sam into a better, happier frame of mind.

Sam had been able to think clearly for the first time about a lot of things that night. And he was sure that the reason was Josie. Comparing the two of them (Lara and Josie) was like comparing two opposites. Sam and Josie just 'clicked'. Even though they had spent a little over four hours in each other's company, by the end of the evening, anyone watching them would have sworn that the two were old friends. It had felt so right. They did not need to make an effort at conversation. It flowed naturally. After overcoming Josie's endearing shyness he found a depth in her thoughts and opinions which spoke of a well read, observant, sensitive and compassionate being. He had felt more drawn to her as the night progressed. They shared the same sense of humor and Sam had laughed heartily for the first time in a long while.

He smiled and then let out a heavy sigh. His thoughts had returned to Lara.

Sam felt paralyzed by the inertia his life possessed. Sam was a born incurable romantic and that had led him to English literature and eventually his career. His parents were perfect role models for their children to emulate in a successful relationship. And yet he had made no headway in his love life. Abby had found her way in married life and was now expecting a baby. Sam looked forward to the birth of his niece and nephew and wondered when would he be able to say the same for himself. He first had to find a wife though didn't he? Sam was certain that Lara could never be the mother of his children. He had always hoped that things would change between the two of them. That one day, the maternal instinct would kick in and Lara would take back the words she said when she first heard of Abby being with child�

When Sam had first heard the news of Abby's expectancy, he called Lara at work, wanting to share his joy with her. Her response shook Sam to the core. "A baby! How on earth are they going to afford a nanny to look after it."

Sam replied, "A nanny? No Coulson baby has ever been raised by a nanny! Abby will work from home initially and look after the baby too. Abby is a very capable woman. She has been a great sister to me and from my experience I know she will make a wonderful mom. Women can work and have a family too, Lara. It's been known to happen."

Lara huffed, " Well, Abby, can certainly forget about her career now. Not that she had much of one in the first place. I got another call Sam. I will speak to you some other time. Bye."

She did not wait for Sam to respond, who was by then fuming, and cut the call. Sam had looked at the phone in total disbelief. The realization was finally settling in. Lara did not want a family. Not now. Maybe never�

With drooping shoulders and an air of resignation, Sam made his way to his bedroom and got ready for bed. He emptied his trouser pockets before throwing it into the laundry bin. He found a half-torn ticket to the movie he had seen with Josie and memories of her lips moving, repeating word for word the scenes, flooded his mind. He left out a groan and he slapped his forehead with the palm of his left hand, remembering his confession that he had made to her that he had been watching her during the movie. He would be seeing her again soon. She actually wanted to see him play hockey! The game that Lara had so lovingly referred to as 'a prison riot on ice'. Sam shook his head in amazement at the difference between Josie and Lara.

He turned off the lights and slipped into bed. The last thought he had before he fell into a deep sleep was that he would be able to see Josie in a few hours, cheering him on. That certainly put a smile on his face as he drifted away.

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Under the same night sky Josie Geller was lying in bed but could not fall asleep. So she decided to make a journal entry. She switched on her bedside lamp and retrieved her diary from her pedestal. She always kept a fountain pen with the leather bound book, where she would pour out her heart to her life long friend. "Dear Diary," she wrote, " Today I met the most wonderful man in the world." She then stopped and closed her eyes, resting the pen against her chin, replaying her first meeting with Sam in her mind's eye. How could she put into words the joy and relief she experienced? " I have never received so much kindness and attention from a stranger before and I doubt that I shall ever again," she continued. "No one can that be lucky, twice in one life." She thought more about it and then realized that she had been that lucky. "Sam had not only helped me when I initially tripped but then saved me from falling backwards again, helped me to a seat, bought a bottle of spring water and then when the tickets had been sold out, had given me his spare." When listed on paper, Sam's good deeds for the day looked pretty impressive! " I know I just met him but I have this feeling about him. Just a feeling, confirmed by his manners, his expressions and gentleman-like conduct. Sam Coulson is the perfect gentleman. The embodiment of every trait and quality praiseworthy in a man contained by hundreds of years of accumulated literature. He is by far the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on." Beautiful? Yes! Beautiful! Handsome! Sexy! And those eyes! Josie giggled and felt like a schoolgirl. She flopped backwards on her bed, and burst into another fit of giggles when she thought of Sam placing his hand on her knee. She squealed again in delight, feeling so insanely happy. If anyone had been able to watch her, they would have thought she was on drugs!

She sat up in bed and told herself, "Stop this! You are behaving like a teenager! This is crazy!"

Josie re-read her entry and then blushed, turning an even darker shade of pink. Anyone reading it could plainly see that she was attracted to Sam. She closed her diary and hurriedly switched off the light and hid her head under the duvet covers. She felt so happy. Happier then she had been in a long time. The last time she had felt this way was� was� about Billy Prince. Josie experienced a mental body blow to the stomach. The wind was taken right out from under her wings and her mood came crashing down. Sam's different. He is so kind and so nice. He would never be cruel like Billy. Never in a million years! She tried to convince herself that her feelings were not wrong this time round. That she had not misjudged Sam's character and she was not going to end up with egg on her face this time. But a tear managed to escape and trickle down her cheek. Her wound was still fresh even though it was years old. She wiped away the tear angrily. Comforting thoughts of Sam soon replaced all the haunting memories of high school that had resurfaced.

She was going to see Sam again in just a few hours. Smiling, she turned over, hugged her pillow and fell into a deep sleep.

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Josie was up at __ am and felt great. She felt really excited and looked forward to seeing Sam play. She wondered how he would look in his uniform and the thought gave her a pleasant buzz. The sound of the phone ringing called her back from the trip her mind was taking thinking of Sam.

"Hello." She said cheerfully.

"Hi, Josie. It's me, Sadhana. How are you?"

Sadhana was the only true friend that Josie had made in all her time spent at Northwestern. The two of them were still very close and spent as much time as they could together, since Sadhana would be returning to the UK after she finished her degree.

"Oh! I feel wonderful, Sadhana!" cooed Josie.

"Ooh! Tell me more! What's his name!" teased Sadhana.

"What do you mean 'his name'? What makes you think there even is a 'he'?" said Josie trying to sound cool but a giggle escaped and gave her away.

"Ha! I knew it! So where did you meet him?" asked Sadhana, who was simply thrilled for her friend.

Josie realized it was pointless trying to evade her questions. Sadhana knew her too well and so she described in detail the events of the night that had passed.

"That is just so romantic. Just like a fairy tale. So when are you going to see Sam again?" asked Sadhana.

"Today! I am going to see him play hockey. Would you like to come? Then you can meet him too."

"Err� Josie� I would love to but I don't want to gatecrash your date. Wouldn't you rather be alone with him?" said Sadhana tentatively.

Josie laughed and then said, "He is going to be playing in front of hundreds of people. I don't think he will even notice that I am there. Besides, you have been in Chicago for over 3 years and you have yet to attend a hockey game. You have no choice. You have to come with me. For moral support at the very least!"

"Okay! Okay! I'll come! But can you pick me up?" said Sadhana.

"I'll be at your 'res' at 4. See you then!" said Josie.

"Alrighty! Bye for now!"

"Bye, Sadhana."

Josie then placed a call to her parent's home. Her brother Rob, answered, "Hello, Geller residence. Rob speaking."

"Hi Rob," said Josie. " How are you feeling today?"

Rob, recognizing his sister's voice said, "Hey Josie! Feeling good. You?"

"Pretty good, too. What did you get up to last night?"

Rob laughed and said, "Wouldn't you like to know? But hey, what about you? Mom said you had made plans but she didn't say what? "

"Hmm� you won't believe me but I, Josie Geller, met a guy. Quite a guy! "

Rob's interest was piqued. He gave a wolf-whistle and said, "A-ha. This I need to hear more of." Rob had always been very supportive of Josie and they shared a close bond. They always confided in each other and Josie felt that there was nothing in the world that she could not tell him. She proceeded with her account of time spent with Sam and then asked Rob if he would like to join Sadhana and herself at the game.

"I'm sorry Josie," he said sadly, "but I can't make it. I promised Pete that I would cover for him at the Tiki Post today. He is out of town and I said that I would swop my off day with him. I'm really sorry."

Disappointed, she said, " Oh! Maybe next time then."

"Definitely, Josie� Man! I'm late. I gotta go. Enjoy yourself. Bye!"

"Bye, Rob."

Josie switched off her cordless phone and then headed for the bathroom, feeling eager to start the day.

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Josie and Sadhana arrived 45 minutes before the game was scheduled to start. Josie was dressed in blue jeans, trainers and a thick, chunky jersey. She carried with her a scarf and gloves in little backpack. Sadhana was wearing a thick, knitted, ankle-length dress, black boots and a coat. Josie had parked her car in the parking lot and the two of them were making their way to the ticket booth. Once inside the building, after buying their tickets, they looked for a sign saying 'Gate G' which lead them to their seats. Sadhana saw a sign with red writing, which said 'Team Locker Rooms' and an arrow pointing down a passage. She stopped and held Josie by the elbow.

She said, "Come on! You have to wish him 'Good Luck' before the game."

Josie started to back away from her friend, shaking her head left to right in refusal, "No I couldn't. What would I say? I can't disturb him before a game."

"Did he not ask you to come? Don't you think he would be happy to know that you are here to cheer him on? He still has 40 minutes before he has to get on the ice. You have plenty of time." Sadhana pleaded with Josie.

Josie's forehead furrowed in consternation. She finally gave in. She took a deep breath and looked at Sadhana saying, "Let's go."

Each step that took her closer to Sam Coulson made her heart beat louder and louder in her head until finally she thought she would faint or die!

There was no one on duty at the security point at the entrance to the 'Players only area'. From where they were standing they could see the two massive doors that opened into the locker rooms but members of the public were not allowed to go any further.

A relieved Josie said, " Looks like we can't see him after all. Maybe we should go to our seats then huh?" She was already backing away and did not see a young man behind her, who was carrying with him a large kit bag. He managed to dodge bumping into Josie but he couldn't get his bag out of the way in time. Josie stumbled and fell backwards. To her surprise, she had fallen right into the very safe arms of none other than one Sam Coulson.

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To be continued�

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