* * *
Josie pulled slightly away from Sam. So many different sensations were swirling around inside of her that she almost felt faint. The tenderness and love along with desire and the yearning to be with him�completely with him�were almost more than she could take. But she was also afraid! Afraid that she wouldn't be able to express all these feelings to him. Afraid he wouldn't understand. She was so used to hiding her emotions from everyone that she wasn't sure she could show him all that she felt without scaring him away or messing things up like she usually did.
Suddenly she became aware of his obvious reaction to her kisses.
"Oh, Sam I'm sorry�I�.I didn't mean to�to�" She looked down at the floor, self- consciously stepping back.
Sam grabbed her arm to stop her and with one finger he tilted her chin to make her look at him. He looked into her eyes and saw the mixed emotions that were there. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing rapidly. He too, was taken back by the powerful sensations that were shaking up his body. It was amazing the effect she had on him. He had never before reacted this strongly to just one look, one touch, one kiss.
He knew she was afraid�hell, so was he. He was fighting with himself and the explosion of pent up feelings he had had to hide for so long and the knowledge that if he went too far too fast he could ruin everything.
"Josie, honey, look at me. Please don't be frightened. I� I'm feeling the same way�" he said, his voice cracking with emotion. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. He wanted to comfort her, so he took the moment to find the right words to reassure her.
"You know, even though we've known each other for a couple of months I feel as if we've known each other forever�and then again it's as if we've just met. I don't want to rush either of us into anything. We've got our whole lives to be together."
He hesitated, and took her face into both of his hands. He bit his lower lip and sighed, pondering well before pronouncing his next words. "I love you," he paused. "And I want to be with you," he paused again his eyes boring into hers. "Forever, however you'll have me."
Josie looked at him, incredulous at what he had just admitted to her. Her eyelashes were wet with unshed tears.
"Oh Sam, I love you too. And I want to be with you�" she paused terrified of how he would react to her next words and looked away focusing her eyes at the fire in the fireplace. "But�I've never�.I mean�I haven't ever been �" she stammered.
Sam cupped her chin and made her look at him. His eyes told her that he understood. That it was okay. He bent down and kissed her. This time the kiss was gentle and soothing.
Josie pulled back softly. Looking up at him she said, "You know�" she grinned up at him mischievously wrinkling her nose "�. you are one sensational guy."
Sam watched the firelight dancing in those big, wonderful eyes of hers. The eyes that belonged to the woman that captured his heart from the first day he saw them.
"And you know what else?" Josie said, looking over his shoulder into the kitchen. "What's for dinner? I'm starving."
Sam pulled his head back and chuckled, "You know, Josie Geller? You are amazing!"
* * *
As Billy drove out of the Sun-Times parking lot, he thought about the past day.
It was incredible how things turned out sometimes.
He had been furious at his father for making him come all the way back here. He had thought that it would've been enough for him to have graduated from Penn State. It was ridiculous to think that he would have had to start at the bottom of the stepladder. Hell, his father was Chief Editor at The Washington Post! He deserved at least to be assistant chief editor. His buddies in college had always told him how lucky he was to have such an important father. That it would be easy for him to get ahead in his career. Well, it obviously wasn't enough to be his son. His father believed in hard work. He believed in working yourself to the top. Just the way he had.
Billy, on the other hand, had always had it easy. His good looks and smooth talking had practically gotten him away with murder in high school. All of his teachers had loved him. They never seemed to notice when his buddies used to pass him completed test papers and homework assignments. And the brainy kids used to always hand over notes he'd forgotten to copy. He was usually too busy with more important matters, such as deciding which keg party to go to that evening, and trying to choose the lucky girl who would accompany him. Most of the girls in his class were crazy about him. And why wouldn't they be. He had it all: good looks, money, nice car, great clothes. He decided if something or someone was important or not. And usually everyone always did what he wanted.
Basically that's what happened in college, also. Of course he had to do a minimum, but usually he was able to get most of the written assignments ahead of time and there had been a few of the "smart kids" who would've given half of their brains to help him in return for a "hello" from him or his "group".
So he ended up graduating, not with the highest grades mind you, but he got his degree. It seemed obvious that he would follow in his fathers' footsteps and work at the newspaper where he was employed. After all, if his father didn't help him out then who would?
As soon, as he got out of college his father introduced him to his employers assuring them that he was as hard working as he had been. He had told his boss that Billy was willing to work as an intern in any sector of the paper.
'An internship!,' Billy thought he was joking when he had told him.
How could he have faced all of his friends when all he did was boast the fact that he would be working side by side with his father, the chief editor, as soon as he got out of college?
He had argued and discussed with his Dad until he was blue in the face, but to no avail. He would not yield. Finally they had come to an agreement. If Billy proved himself capable of understanding how much hard work and dedication it took to make a paper run, perhaps even get something of his published, then maybe just maybe he could get a permanent job at "The Post". Naturally his father had to choose which newspaper he would have to be trained in.
When he had told him that he'd have to go back to Chicago his heart fell to the ground. Going back to his hometown was NOT what he had in mind. But he had no choice. When his father had told him that a woman (no less) was going to be training him, he had been furious. It seemed as if he was intentionally trying to make things difficult for him.
But now with this new turn of events he smiled at himself triumphantly.
Josie Geller! Geeky "Josie Grossie." Isn't that what everyone used to call her? And wasn't it started by her own brother�.Rob wasn't it? Now that was a cool dude. He remembered how everyone used to talk about how well he played baseball. He wondered what had happened to him. He was going to have to ask Josie.
Josie!
Billy kept repeating her name over and over. Boy what a huge change she had made since high school. Back then he barely noticed her. Hell, she was a geek! He remembered the joke Jimmy had played on her, when he poured a whole can of Sprite into her schoolbag. It was hilarious when she had walked up to him and the liquid started pouring out from behind her making it look as if she was peeing her pants right then and there.
And that poem she had written in the poetry class they were in together. He knew she had written it for him. He could tell by the way she was looking at him when she had read it in class. For a minute he had felt sorry for her. No one had ever really done anything like that before for him. The kids he hung around with couldn't put two words together much less write a poem.
But everyone was laughing so hard. He had tried to keep a straight face while she was reading. But she was so absurd standing up there at the front of the class. How could she have even thought that he could like her? He had a reputation to uphold. He was the most popular guy in school. How would it have looked? If he would've shown any consideration for her, his friends would've never let him live it down.
That's when Jimmy had come up with the idea that Billy should let it get around that he wanted to invite Josie to Prom. At first, he didn't want to. But then Terry, one of the most popular girls in school, convinced him. She hated Josie. It was Terry who had gotten the idea to throw the rotten eggs at Josie that night. He went along with it just to please her. Terry used to say that girls like Josie shouldn't be allowed to even attend the same school as them.
"Just look at her," she hissed one day as Josie passed by in her denim overall skirt and big knee high socks. "How can she go around dressed like that? And look at her hair. If you look hard enough you'd probably find a couple of birds eggs," she laughed along with everyone else in the group.
Billy was crazy about Terry back then. He would've done anything for her. They had gone out all during senior year in high school and obviously had ended up going to Prom together. They had even continued seeing each other after graduation too. It was too bad she ended up going away to California for college. They had written to each other for a few months but then the letters just kept getting fewer and then just stopped altogether.
That was okay though, because in college women were no problem. Oh, of course, he'd had one or two longer lasting relationships but nothing really important. He really wasn't the forever type.
His thoughts turned back to Josie.
He had to admit that he never expected her to come back into his life. While he was in high school he would've shuddered at the thought of working with her. But now�.it sure was going to be a pleasure and a challenge! Getting his father's approval was going to be a piece of cake. All he would have to do was gain Josie's trust�and that probably wouldn't be too hard. Women like her were very trusting and were no match for a man like him. Then he had to figure out some way to get rid of this guy she was seeing. From what he had read in her article, their relationship was at the beginning stages, so that wouldn't be too difficult either.
'Hey,' he thought, 'things hadn't turned out so bad after all.' He couldn't wait to get to the office and start off on his 'mission'.
'Hmmmm ,' he thought. 'Maybe I shouldn't wait until I get to the office�.'
* * *
"Sam," Josie said looking up at him smiling. "Are you going to tell me what's for dinner or are you going to let me starve? We can't live on air alone, you know."
Sam looked at her tenderly, "Well, now that you mention it, I am kind of hungry myself." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "But not for food," he growled and took her earlobe into his mouth and started nibbling.
Josie's legs started to go weak at the sensations he was creating inside of her. He brushed her lips with his own and then looked down at her taking a strand of her hair and pulling it behind her ear. Josie still hadn't opened her eyes and once again he was taken back by the raw emotions that were crossing her face.
"Methinks, my dear, that I should start getting dinner on while you go take a shower and freshen up."
'Maybe, I'm the one who needs to go take a COLD shower,' he thought.
"Mmm," she opened her eyes and looked up to him noticing that he was just as moved as she was. "Yeah, I think you're right. I'll be just a few minutes." She smiled at him awkwardly and turned and headed for her bedroom. She closed the door and leaned up against it. She put her hand to her forehead and took a deep breath.
'Phew,' she thought, breathing deeply. She couldn't believe how fast and hard her heart was beating. Her legs felt like putty. Sam Coulson was incredible. She never thought it could be like this. Her body seemed to have a will of it's own when he touched her.
She shook her head and tried to regain her composure. She folded her arms across her chest and hugged herself tightly. She was amazed at how intense her feelings for Sam had gotten in such a short time. And doubly astounded at the fact that Sam felt the same way for her. She felt shy but secure and strong at the same time around him. She couldn't believe how happy she was.
Josie thought back to the day she'd had at work. She still was incredulous at the coincidence of how Billy Prince had popped into her life again. Why him and why now? Her life was just starting to take off. Well, she guessed she was just going to have to deal with him as best as she could. After all, it was only for two months.
She shrugged her shoulders and went into the bathroom and undressed. She was just about to step into the shower when Sam called out to her.
"Hey, Josie," he called knocking on the bathroom door. Subconsciously Josie grabbed a towel to cover herself. She wrapped it around herself and walked over to the door and opened it a crack. She peeked out at him, trying to hide behind the door.
"Your cell phone was ringing. I hope you don't mind my answering it. It's a colleague of yours," Sam said handing her the phone. Mischievously he "accidentally" pushed open the door too far. Having both of her hands occupied, one with the phone and the other with the towel, she couldn't avoid the door from opening just far enough for Sam to poke his head inside.
Josie put her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and whispered self consciously, "Sam, please. I'm a mess!"
Sam looked at her up and down appreciatively, "Sweetheart, you just don't know how good you look right now," he chuckled.
Josie picked up another towel and threw it at him. "Sam, get out of here," she giggled.
Laughing, he shut the door avoiding the towel just in time.
"Hello," said Josie into her phone, still giggling.
"Josie?" said the voice on the other end.
The smile on Josie's face disappeared as she realized whom she was talking to.
"Billy!?"
"Hi. Did I call at a bad time?" answered Billy.
Not bothering to answer his question, she demanded, "Billy, how did you get my cell phone number?"
"Your office gave it to me. Don't get mad," he answered.
"I'm not mad," she said wrapping her towel around more tightly. She sighed before continuing. "Is something wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong," he replied.
"Then what do you want?"
"Josie, I'm sorry if I interrupted anything, but I needed to clear up a few things with you."
"Can't we clear them up at work on Monday?" she asked. She was getting nervous standing there in a towel talking to Billy Prince, even if it was over the phone. "I'm kind of busy right now."
"Well, Josie it is kind of important," Billy said, sensing her agitation.
"Billy. I'm right in the middle of taking a sh�" She stopped suddenly, realizing what she was about to say and thinking how uneasy she felt at that moment. "She took a deep breath and said, "Billy, I think I made it clear today that our relationship has to be strictly work related. There's no reason for you to be calling me on my cell phone, especially after work hours."
"Ok, Josie. I get the message," Billy replied, rolling his eyes, trying to sound as regretful as possible. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. How about I treat you to breakfast Monday morning. That way we can talk. 8:30 sound okay? "
Hating the fact that he naturally assumed that she was going to meet him but at the same time anxious to get off the phone with him, she said, "That's fine, I'll see you at the coffee shop that's right across the street from the paper."
"Great," said Billy smiling. "I'll see you Monday then. Have a good weekend, Josie."
Josie hung up the phone, still feeling awkward. She was upset at the fact that he could still shake her up so much. What did he want? Wasn't it enough that she had to see him at work without him having to call her at home? She put the phone down on the counter and turned on the shower. Stepping in she, let the jet of the warm water wash away the tension that had built up in her body.
So many things had happened in the last few days. The success of her article and the wonderful outcome because of it. Her new position at the paper. It was what she had dreamed of for years. She still hadn't even dwelled on that yet. She was so shocked by Billy Prince coming back into her life so unexpectedly. She was also disturbed by the feelings of animosity he evoked in her. It wasn't in her character to be so resentful, but in Billy's case, she couldn't help herself.
She got out of the shower and toweled herself dry. She felt more relaxed and hearing Sam fussing around in the kitchen made her smile softly again. Her heart filled with a sense of joy and tenderness thinking about him. She hurriedly dressed in a pastel blue silk slip dress that flowed softly around her curvaceous body and highlighted her blue eyes. She combed her hair and parted it to one side putting in a small barrette to hold it in place. She put on a pale pink lipstick and looked at her reflection in the mirror, satisfied.
She walked out to the kitchen and smiled at the sight of Sam with her apron on and a kitchen towel over his shoulder. He had his back to her and she watched him as he drank a sip of wine from his glass while he tossed a salad.
'God,' she thought.' He even makes tossing a salad look good.' She stood without saying a word and smiled at the look on his face as he turned around and suddenly realized she was standing there watching him.
He stared at her for a moment, glass and bowl in hand, paralyzed. He looked at her up and down, taking in all of her. He felt mesmerized at how beautiful she looked standing there with just the firelight dancing on the wall behind her. She looked liked an angel. Sam put down the salad bowl and glass and walked over to her. He stopped just in front of her and took both of her hands into his.
"Wow, Josie! You look beautiful." Sam put a finger under her chin and brushed a light kiss on her lips.
"Come, my fair lady," He told her as he led her to the table. "Have a seat, dinner's ready."
She looked up at him and giggled softly. She really felt like his fair lady. Actually, Sam made her feel like a queen.
As they ate, Sam and Josie both fell into the comfortable easiness of just being in each other's company. They talked of their childhood and Sam told her about his family of three brothers and of his sister Abby, who he was so close to. He told her of how he had followed in his father's footsteps in becoming a teacher. It was his Dad who had taught him the love of teaching and how important a good instructor could be. His father had always told him that the human mind had the potential do anything. It was putting that potential to the proper use that was the trick. Being a good teacher meant being able to capture the capabilities of each one of his students and help him but it to use in all the aspects of his life, not only in school.
Josie listened to Sam and noticed a sparkle in his eye as he talked about his profession and the important role his father had played in helping him find the true meaning of teaching. As he spoke, she fell in love with him even more when she realized how he put his heart and soul in what he did�in everything he did.
"Sam, it's so wonderful that you are so dedicated to your job. You know, there are a lot of people who aren't that way." Billy came into Josie's mind. She tried to push away the thought, but he wouldn't go away.
Sam noticed the cloud that passed across her features. He reached across the table and grabbed her hand, entwining his fingers with hers.
"Hey Josie, are you all right?" Sam asked looking at her questioningly. He noticed how far away she looked suddenly.
"Hmmm, oh yes," she shook her head slightly as if to brush off a thought. "I'm sorry, Sam. I was just thinking about work."
"Is everything okay?" he asked. "You sounded funny today when I called you."
Josie looked at Sam and pondered whether to tell him about Billy or not. She had never told anyone about that story. She was so embarrassed by it. She didn't want Sam to think she was a fool. Josie stared into the firelight and shook her head.
"No, everything is fine, Sam."
"That's what you said today," he said watching her, not convinced. "Are you sure?"
"Well, let's just say that what happened at work today took me totally by surprise."
"Why, what happened?" asked Sam, curious.
"Actually, I have some great news that I haven't told you about yet. You are looking at one of the new columnists for 'The Chicago Sun Times'," said Josie smiling again.
"Honey, that's fantastic!"
Sam got up still holding her hand, went around the table and pulled her into his arms.
"I can't believe it! You've got your own column?" he asked proudly.
Josie pulled away from him, shyly looking at him and nodding.
Sam pulled her into a bear hug again. "I'm so proud of you. I've always known you were a fantastic writer. You can really reach people with your words. Look what you did to me," he smiled softly at the thought.
He pulled away from her watching her carefully, "There's something else though, isn't there?"
"Well, yes, actually there is," she said, her voice cracking.
Josie pulled out of Sam's arms. She walked over to the couch and sat down. Nervously she started wringing her hands.
Sam followed and sat down next to her. He could tell something was troubling her but didn't want to push. He reached over and put both of his hands over hers to stop her fidgeting. He tilted his head and stooped down and tried to catch her gaze, and when she wouldn't look at him her reached and lifted her chin with his finger.
"Hey," he said.
Josie sighed deeply. "Okay. Well see, Mr. Rigfort has this friend who has a son. He wants me to train him," she said all in one breath.
"So, what's wrong with that? I would think you'd be happy that your boss has enough consideration for you to think that you're capable to train someone," said Sam. "I don't get it."
"Well, see it turns out, that Billy�this person I have to train, well I know him already. We used to be in the same class in high school. Actually, we graduated together."
Sam still couldn't understand, "I still don't get it Josie. What's wrong with already knowing this guy? Did you guys go out or something?" A twinge of jealousy was starting to creep into the pit of his stomach.
"Oh no," Josie shook her head. "He was the most popular guy in school. He would've never have gone out with someone like me. Sam, I was one of the class geeks! Everyone made fun of me. Billy was right up there with everyone else. Actually, he was the one that treated me the worst of all."
Josie closed her eyes for a moment, remembering for the tenth time that day.
Suddenly Sam recalled the reference Josie had made in her article, about the boy who had played a cruel joke on her.
"Josie, is this the guy who you were referring to in your article?" he asked, scowling. He was beginning to feel a bit worked up at the idea that this person could have in some way hurt Josie in the past.
Josie nodded, "Yeah."
She looked at him, tears starting to form in her eyes. Sam leaned over and took her in his arms gently massaging her back, trying to ease the tension in her.
'Who the hell was this guy, and what had he done to Josie?' thought Sam defensively. He tried to remain calm for Josie's sake. The last time he saw her so shaken up was when he had seen her running in the hallway at school the day after he had seen her at Delloser Hall.
"Honey, I'm sorry. Do you want to tell me what happened?"
Josie closed her eyes and snuggled even closer to Sam. He felt so good, so safe. As much as she wanted to though, she didn't have the courage to tell him this part of her life yet. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; it was that she felt ashamed for being so na�ve, so stupid.
"Sam, please�I�I'm not ready to talk about this yet. I had a real hard time when I was in high school. You already know that, though. But there are certain incidents that happened, especially when I was a senior that I've been trying to deal with for a long time. I thought that I was over, it but seeing Billy again brought back so many memories�" Josie stopped, not wanting to go on anymore. Tears were rolling down her face as she turned her head towards Sam's chest.
"Sam�just�just please hold me," she said, trying to control her sobs.
Sam pulled her even closer, rocking back and forth to sooth her. "Shhh," he said caressing her hair. "I'm here, Josie. Everything is going to be fine. No one is going to hurt you anymore. I love you."
Sam tilted up her face and kissed her eyes, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. He went on to brush her cheeks with his lips and ended up covering her mouth with his own. He kissed her softly at first wanting to comfort her, but then he was more insistent, hoping to convey some of his strength to her. His fingers lightly brushed her jaw line and wandered down to her neck, his thumb caressing the soft spot right under her ear.
Josie lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck, wanting to, needing to, pull him even closer. Once again she felt her heart pounding hard against her chest. She kissed him back with a hunger that she herself didn't know she had. Her fingers ran through his hair and then her hand went to the side of his face and lightly caressed his cheek. Josie then gently pulled away from Sam and with a small embarrassed smile on her lips she said, "Oh Sam, I'm sorry. You went to so much trouble trying to make this evening so special and here I am ruining everything�"
Sam stopped her words by kissing her. He looked at her and smoothed her hair away from her face. "Josie, just being here with you is special to me and I want you to know that whenever you feel like talking about anything that's bothering you, I'm here okay? I want to be the one that makes you feel better when you're down and I want you to know that you can trust me. Now how about I come down to your office on Monday and let this guy know who he has to deal with if he starts giving you a hard time?" Sam said teasingly, trying to lighten the mood.
In reality Sam wanted to make sure this Billy guy knew Josie wasn't alone anymore. He didn't know what happened between him and Josie, but he was going to make sure that he wasn't ever going to get the chance to hurt her again.
Josie laughed, "No thanks, Sam; I think I can handle Billy on my own. After all, it's more my problem than his, though, I think I like having you as my bodyguard."
"Hmmm, I like that," said Sam grinning. "Watching your body. I may just be tempted to change jobs�" He leaned in and gave her a kiss, happy that she was in a better mood.
The rest of the evening passed by quietly and happily. They ate the desert Sam had prepared, Cr�me Caramel. Sam pulled out a bottle of champagne and poured them both a glass.
He held up the glass in one hand, and with the other he grabbed her fingers and held them up to his lips brushing each one softly with a kiss.
"To you, Josie, the most beautiful and kindhearted person I know. To the woman who came into my life and turned it upside down. Thank you, for being who and what you are and for being able to bring out the best in everyone around you, most of all me." With those words he brought the glass to his lips and bore his eyes into hers.
Josie looked at Sam, astonished once again at the sensations he was creating inside her body just with his look. She knew at that moment that Sam loved her as she loved him. Sam would never hurt her. He would always be there for her. She was foolish to think he wouldn't understand about Billy. As she decided she was going to tell him everything, Sam's cell phone rang breaking their reverie.
"I'm sorry Josie, I thought I turned it off. I wonder who it could be?"
"Hello," answered Sam.
"St. John Hopkins Hospital, New York City, hold please," came the voice on the other end.
A feeling of dread started forming in the pit of Sam's stomach as he heard the operator put him on hold. Josie watched the emotions crossing his face and stood up and walked over to him. Putting a hand on his arm she asked, "Sam, what's wrong? Who is it?"
Sam looked at Josie and raised one hand while shrugging his shoulders. Then he heard another 'click' and a man's voice came on line.
"Hello, Sam Coulson?" the voice asked.
"Yes," croaked Sam into the phone. He pulled Josie closer putting his arm around her needing to feel her near.
"This is Doctor Leviene speaking, I'm sorry to disturb you. Do you know a Lara Patton?"
"Yes, I do�"
* * *