* * *
Senior Nite at Navy Pier. Oh, the smell of cotton candy and hot dogs intermingling. It was making me feel ill. I've been here for over an hour, aimlessly walking, searching for Josie, and so far she was nowhere to be found. I hadn't seen Rob either, but about that I was glad. I didn't like hiding from him. Take today at school for example: I watched him walk around with Guy Perkins' group, which he infiltrated with the greatest of ease, with that girl Tracy on his arm, and it took all of my self control not to run over to them and spill all of the details of our individual ruses, just so I could have him on my arm. I have never been a jealous person, but seeing him with that girl who looked a little like a younger Claire Danes was driving me crazy.
I stopped at a concession stand and was paying for a Pepsi when I saw Josie get onto the Ferris wheel. I was far enough away to not be able to hear what the carnie was yelling, but whatever it was I could see it made her blush. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Mr. Coulson stepped up and sat with her. I saw her smile with genuine thankfulness, and begin talking to him with more ease than I have seen her talk to almost anyone. I walked over to a bench near the Ferris wheel and sat down, watching them go up and come down, all the while noticing that Mr. Coulson looked very nervous. I took note of the little looks that they gave each other when they thought the other wouldn't notice. There was something brewing there, but I didn't have any evidence to support it besides the little looks and longing glances. Josie obviously had a crush on her "teacher", and this wasn't all that out of the ordinary�even if she were actually seventeen and his student. Hell, I bet half the senior girls had crushes on him as well. What wasn't good was Mr. Coulson being attracted to Josie. I knew the truth: that she was an adult, and not really his student. But he didn't know this and still he seemed to let his eyes linger on her longer than they should. Given that Josie is actually an adult, this really isn't a big deal in all actuality. But I know that her boss is watching the same thing that I am and if he's clever he will see the story that lies in there. Such sensationalism I am not a fan of. It's all a little too tabloid for me. But if the Sun-Times were really desperate to beat us in sales, then I could see them using this seemingly mutual attraction to their advantage.
Oh, poor Josie. I wondered if she had it in her to sell her teacher out. Especially, if she has feelings for him.
* * *
It was noon on Saturday and I was more nervous than anyone would believe. Today was the lunch date with Rob and Josie. I left my hair down since I had worn it in a ponytail most often (before the wig) and I hoped that that would be enough for Josie to not recognize me. I wore a plum tank top that had a sheer top layer with little tiny flowers woven into it and black capri pants with platform mary janes. I took a lightweight black sweater out of the closet by the front door, grabbed my purse and left the safety of my loft to go do the one thing that could cause me to lose my job.
I pulled into the parking lot of Petit Bistro, the cafe that I was meeting Rob and Josie at. I saw Rob's car, a Buick Le Sabre with Tiki Post painted on the side, and parked on the other side of the lot from it. I didn't want either of them to recognize my car, a 1967 Volkswagon Beetle convertible fully restored and cherry red with a white top, just in case they had seen it around the school. It had been in the underground parking at my building when Rob and I went out and he had driven that night. I checked my hair in the rearview mirror one last time. I was pleased with it; the lack of wind and small amount of humidity had let the natural curl come out, which normally looks a little frizzed and obviously windblown, so I normally straighten it in the mornings. I applied a little lipstick and got out of the car.
It was a beautiful Chicago day, pleasantly warm, and I saw that Rob and Josie were sitting on the patio. Josie looked better than I have seen her look so far. She was wearing a knee-length, short sleeved pale green summer dress with white lace edging on the collar and hem. Her hair was brushed flat and curled under and she had a pair of sparkly green barrettes on each side. On her feet were white sandals with a two-inch platform sole that buckled around her ankle. Very cute outfit! Rob was wearing a blue checked button up short sleeve shirt with a white t-shirt underneath and cargo pants with Vans sneakers. He looked so cute with his sunglasses pushed up above his forehead. I walked through the gate, my stomach in knots, but with a smile on my face. Rob stood up, like a gentleman, when I approached them. Josie stayed seated, but was looking up at me with a welcoming smile. Rob gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Hi. Caroline, this is my sister, Josie. Josie, this is Caroline."
I smiled again and put my hand out for her to shake. "It's really nice to finally meet you," I said.
"You too." She looked at me with a curious expression.
"I mean because Rob has talked so much about you."
This made her smile. It was apparent that she didn't recognize me, and I breathed a sigh of relief. She looked at Rob. "Really?"
Rob shrugged his shoulders in false modesty. "Well, you know..."
"No, I don't. Why don't you tell me," she teased, still smiling.
"C'mon Jos. Give me a break." He said. He looked at me. "You look nice, as usual."
"Thank you." I replied as the waiter came up to take our drink orders. After he walked away, Rob turned to Josie. "I don't want to immediately get off on the wrong foot, but I think the sooner it's out, the better."
"What?" she asked, concern in her voice.
"Well, Caroline is a writer too." Josie's eyes brightened as she looked from him to me and back. "But, she works for the Tribune." I watched nervously at her reaction, but she just looked me in the eye and gave me a little smile.
"That's OK. Why wouldn't that be OK, Rob?"
"Because I told her about your undercover thing...I told you I told her that." He sounded nervous and defensive all at once.
Josie's eyes showed a flicker of stress for a second before she turned to me. "Are you going to blow my cover? Should I worry?"
"Honestly, you have nothing to worry about there. I don't need to tell anyone...because it's not really my department..." I took a sip of my water. My throat was suddenly very dry. I was being honest; I didn't have to tell anyone at the Trib because they all knew.
"What department are you in?"
"Well, I'm a columnist, not a reporter. And trust me when I say that I won't be writing a column about you. I promise." I smiled.
Josie returned my smile. "How did you get your own column? You can't be much older than me."
"It wasn't easy. I pretty much gave up a social life for two years of my life. I started interning at a paper in San Francisco my senior year of college."
"Oh, where'd you go?" Josie asked with genuine interest.
"Stanford." I replied.
"Stanford, wow. Great school. I applied there too, but I decided on Northwestern."
"Really? I applied to Northwestern and decided on Stanford! How funny." we shared a laugh and I continued. "So, after interning for a year, I was offered a job as an assistant to a reporter at the Trib after Graduation. And, after a lot of hard work, many. many story ideas used and general ass-kissing, I was offered a weekly column."
"That's great. I wish I could have my own column. I'm just a copy editor." she said.
"You make it sound like being a copy editor isn't important, but it is. If it weren't for you, all the stories would be printed with spelling errors and bad punctuation." I turned to Rob and said "Not all of the reporters seemed to have paid much attention in English class."
Josie laughed. "Thank you. That makes me feel good."
I smiled in return and took Rob's hand under the table. "Enough shop talk. I think we've excluded Rob enough."
"We can talk about this stuff later."
"Please." Rob said.
I turned to him. "Sorry sweetie." I said.
"How do you feel about Rob's little girlfriend?"
I tried not to flinch at Josie's question. "Well..."
"Josie, come on!" Rob said "Don't make her feel uncomfortable. Caroline and I have already talked about the Tracy thing, I told you that."
"It's OK, Rob. I don't mind..." I turned to Josie, and was completely honest. I felt that I at least owed her that, given that I had been invading her privacy for weeks now. "I don't really like that he's sort of dating a sixteen year old." I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at Rob. "But, I trust you until you give me reason not to."
Rob looked into my eyes and squeezed my hand, which was entwined in his and placed on his lap. Then he looked at Josie. "I haven't kissed her or anything. She's tried, but I just start talking or something. I think she's getting sick of hearing about baseball. I don't want to talk about this stuff." Rob said solemnly as the waiter came to take out orders.
Josie ordered a club sandwich and side salad and then said "Maybe you shouldn't date a high school girl and an adult woman at the same time. Maybe you should choose." She winked at me, happy with the opportunity to tease her brother. I smiled at her as I finished my order of a veggie burger with french fries and then scooted in my chair and put my arm around Rob's shoulders.
"Lets give Rob a break, Josie. I think we've tortured him enough."
"Are you two sure you haven't met before? Maybe planned out this ambush?" Rob asked, ignoring the waiter.
Josie and I laughed, and I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry." Rob looked at me, his brown eyes showing a bit of hurt. "I know you're not used to being the one who gets teased."
* * *
Josie was the first to stand up to go. The three of us had been talking for over an hour after we'd finished our meals, oblivious to the time going by. I was thoroughly enjoying Josie's company. She was sweet and smart and had such an offbeat sense of humor-much like her brother's. I had been trying to see the resemblance between them and what I found was abstract, not physical. They both had infectious smiles; their eyes were more expressive than anyone's I've ever seen; neither can seem to sit still -- Rob fidgets a lot and Josie moves her hands and shakes her feet; neither sits up very straight.
I was sad to see her go because I was genuinely enjoying her company. "I have a lot of things to do today, and it's already three o'clock!" she explained. She pat Rob on the head affectionately and smiled at me. "Caroline, it was a pleasure to meet you."
"You too." I said. I stood up and hugged her.
"We should get together sometime."
"Definitely." I replied.
"Great! Well, see you guys." She walked through the gate to the parking lot as I sat in my chair and put my feet up on Rob's lap. I was amazed at how comfortable I felt around him. I didn't hold anything back, not affection, or words, or actions. I was my whole true self around him.
With the exception of the secret of my spying on his sister. But I would tell him that, eventually. Not yet.
"So, Rob, what now?" I asked, raising my right eyebrow and giving him a devious look. He let one eyebrow go up and cocked his head as a smile graced his lips.
"That's a naughty look," he said. "Are you feeling randy?"
With a cocky grin, I replied, "Maybe. How are you feeling?"
He stood up and took my hands, helping me from my seat. "Hmm...I feel like..." and he leaned down to kiss me.
* * *
I woke up on Sunday morning to the phone ringing. I rolled over and picked it up, and groggily said "Hello?" while noticing that the clock said that it was only nine-thirty. I had been up with Rob until three A.M. and wasn't ready to wake up.
"Caroline, rise and shine!" said the voice on the other side of the phone.
"Rob! Why are you even awake, never mind that you're cheery!" I said, sitting up.
"I couldn't sleep. So, I figured, since I was up I'd wake you up."
"Are you insane?" I asked.
"Some might say yes. I call it spunky." I laughed. "So, what do you say, wanna get some breakfast?"
"I never eat breakfast."
"It's the most important meal...according to Josie. And my mom."
"Yeah, well, I feel sick if I eat in the morning. Besides, I'm tired!" I whined.
"Waa, waa. C'mon, get up."
"Why?! It's Sunday morning!"
"Because I want to see you today."
My heart fluttered a little at his admission. I sighed. "I want to see you too..."
"So, what's the problem?" he asked.
"There isn't one, I'm just a baby. Do you want to come over and watch tv all day? I never get to do that."
"I always do that."
"Ok, then it's a plan. I'll leave the door unlocked for you just in case I'm in the shower when you get here."
"Can I join you if you are?"
"Naughty." I giggled. I haven't giggled since high school. Real high school, that is. "I think it's a little soon for such debauchery."
"You are such a party pooper today!"
I stood up from the bed and walked toward my closet. "If you say so. I'll see you soon?"
"You bet." I hung up and pulled a pair of jeans and a blue baby-doll t-shirt with Pac Man on the front and yellow trim on the sleeves and collar. I turned on the shower and ran downstairs to unlock the door and open the curtains.
Once I was out of the shower and dressed, I brushed my hair out and pulled the sides up to the back and secured it with a hair tie, making sure that some little strands fell around my face. I quickly put on mascara and lip-gloss and went downstairs where I saw Rob sitting on the couch eating a doughnut. He turned around and smiled. "Cool shirt," he said.
"Thank you." I leaned down and kissed his cheek before walking around to the front of the couch and sitting down. "I brought doughnuts, even though you said you don't eat in the morning."
"Relentless." I picked up a glazed doughnut and walked to the kitchen to pur myself a glass of orange juice. "I hope you don't mind, but I've gotten pretty behind in my work this weekend, so I have to spend a little time working."
"You have to leave?"
"Nope." I pulled my laptop from my bag and walked back to the couch and sat down. "I just have to work on my column. I was late getting it in again this week, so I want to get a jump start on it."
"What are you going to write about?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I usually write about stuff that's going on in my life."
He smiled mischievously. "Are you going to write about me?"
"Not for this one, but soon, I promise."
He leaned back and bit into his doughnut. "Then what?"
I took a deep breath. "You will just have to read it when it's done." I stood up again and walked across the room to the breakfast bar and plugged in the computer and started it. As I was typing away I heard Rob flipping channels, finally settling on an old X-Files episode on FX. When I was halfway through I saved my work, shut off the computer and sat next to him, placing a hand on his knee. "I am ready to pay full attention to you now."
"Good." He said as he leaned over and kissed me. I leaned back so that my head was resting on the arm of the couch and he was leaning over me. "You looked really cool while you were working."
"Thanks. I'm not sure how, though."
"You just looked so...involved...um..." he furrowed his eyebrows, looking for the right word. "God, I wish Josie was here to just spout out the word I'm looking for. This is the one time it wouldn't be annoying."
"It doesn't matter." I kissed his lips softly. "I appreciate the compliment."
"You aren't like any girl I have ever known, Caroline."
"Thank you, again."
"I mean it. I feel different when I'm around you. Like I want to be a better person. For the first time in my life I regret just wasting the last five years and not going to college, because I feel like I'm not good enough for you. You are like Josie: a smarter, better person than everyone else. I can't figure out why you want to date me at all."
"Wow." My word came out like an extension of my breath. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. "Rob, you are 'good enough' for me. I'm not as great as you think, believe me."
"Yes, you are. Look at how great you were about me posing as a high school student! I have no real reason to do that except to play baseball. And it was the easy way! I could have gone to college, even the community college that Josie asked me to call, and get on one of their teams. But I haven't let myself grow older than seventeen, in my head, you know? And when I'm around you, I want to be 23. I want to be grown up and better than I am."
I felt tears swell in my eyes. His confession made me feel even more awful about my job and the assignment I was doing. I knew that the article that I had to write could hurt Josie and hurt him as well. I couldn't imagine Janeane letting me write a glowing story on the bravery of a Sun-Times reporter, even though that was what I wanted to write about. I was too involved; I was in too deep now to stop the relationship with Rob and the friendship I had started, no matter how small, with Josie at lunch the day before. And here he was, this adorable boy with his hand running through my hair, so inspired by me to be a better person, when I thought he was perfect! I couldn't say anything, so I leaned up and kissed him with all the feeling that I could put into a single kiss.
* * *