* * *
Sam had a lot of time to think on his frustratingly long drive to the mall. Traffic was a mess due to the heavy storm system that had moved through earlier. Many trees were down and quite a few traffic signals weren't functioning. His concern about Josie's safety and well-being was increasing by the minute.
He knew it was way past time to communicate his situation to Josie, however difficult that might be. Now that Lara had given Josie the erroneous impression that a relationship still existed between them, he felt a new sense of urgency to reveal the truth about his current predicament to Josie if only he could locate her. Then there was the fact that Lara had decimated just about everything in his apartment that reminded him of the woman he loved � the hurt from that too somehow was propelling him to take action.
Sam was facing the music about something else as well. He'd known the truth about Lara for years, but he'd continued on in a relationship with her because it was comfortable for him. Knowing he had only himself to blame for not ending it sooner was forcing him to face his own character flaws and maybe for the first time take positive action.
Due to the fact that he and Lara lived in different cities, he didn't have to cope with her on a day-to-day basis or face the fact that they had nothing in common. After all, they'd never actually lived together, even in college. He could still pursue the activities he enjoyed with his friends and basically do what he wanted most of the time because she was hundreds of miles away, busy with her own day to day existence.
So, in essence for four and a half years he had a girl friend who made little or no demands on him when they were not together, which was most of the time. That had remained a constant over the course of their turbulent relationship. During the times he was actually with Lara, she basically called the shots and made the decisions and he passively went along with them � at least until the past six months.
So, the relationship with Lara had been convenient for Sam � he'd never had to pursue her or make a great deal of effort to continue the relationship. In essence, he never had to take the initiative � she was more than happy to manage things. Truthfully, if the relationship had required more effort on his part, he wasn't sure it would have lasted beyond the first year. Because after that first year, if he looked at it honestly, the only part of their relationship that had been fairly positive was the sexual part. The physical part of their relationship had been good, but certainly not spectacular. He'd never felt anything even approaching the overwhelming desire, love and attraction he experienced now just being close to Josie.
When Lara had started applying more pressure for a move to New York, something within Sam rebelled. But still he couldn't communicate his feelings to her as the anger and resentment built up inside of him. Sam had no problem with public speaking, but communicating his feelings and emotions was right up there with a root canal on his list of things he enjoyed.
Because of that anger and boiling resentment, Lara was no longer physically attractive to him � and hadn't been for more than six months. He had liked the "low maintenance" aspect of their relationship and suddenly Lara had changed six months ago into a very high maintenance woman. Then the problem was Sam realized he didn't care enough about her to put forth the effort necessary to satisfy her "maintenance" demands.
Now, however, Sam had lost his heart to a woman who he had to admit would be even more "high maintenance" than Lara � and this was according to his own definition of the term. But this time Sam was more than happy and eager to make the effort. Even though Josie possessed a more pleasant disposition than his former girlfriend, it was clear that she would require a lot of love and reassurance from the man in her life to overcome all the hurt done to her in the past. Janet Geller, Josie's mother, had made that more than clear to him. In contrast to his situation with Lara, when it came to Josie he was excited about the future and willing do what it would take to make the relationship work.
Knowing that a relationship with Josie would require much more time and devotion on his part, Sam realized that he loved her so much that he really had no choice but to step up to the plate and make the lifestyle changes necessary to be with the woman he adored. And he had to start by expressing his feelings to her in a way she could understand clearly.
The alternative � a life without Josie � was not something that he could even begin to bring himself to consider. Not now that he'd had a hint of the happiness that waited for him � just being with her. Especially not after today after what he'd felt just holding her hand and gazing into her eyes.
Spending time with Josie made him happy in a way that being with Lara never had. As much as he loved his work and had enjoyed his time in Chicago, he couldn't imagine going on now without Josie Geller in his life. She had changed everything for him even though he'd only known her for three months.
And ever since that night at Club Delloser, really over the past two weeks, Sam's heart had awakened to the possibility of a happiness he'd never dreamed possible. He'd hoped for it when he was younger, but at this stage in his life, he'd pretty much given up on romantic dreams and resigned himself, by force of habit, to a dismal future with Lara, until Josie came into his life and turned everything upside down.
All the passion and romance beyond his wildest fantasies and more was within his grasp � all he had to do was take the action necessary to make sure his dream became a reality. That meant telling Josie the truth � about everything: his feelings, his plans, his hopes and his dreams. He was still her teacher and as such he knew he had to control his actions. But sharing his feelings with her now had become a separate issue � one that he knew he could no longer sidestep or avoid.
Expressing his feelings verbally had always been very difficult for Sam. Although he loved language, he was much more comfortable with the written word when it came to dealing with emotions, especially his own. Underneath his calm, laid back exterior, Sam Coulson was a sensitive caring man, with an extremely affectionate and passionate nature. Josie had awakened all that sleeping passion and now he felt as if he would explode if he couldn't find a way to express his feelings to her and make her understand just how deeply he loved her.
Sam sighed as he sat in a traffic jam feeding into the mall. There were three lanes of traffic feeding in stopped at the broken signal, waiting for the police officer directing traffic to wave them in. Sam was the second car in the far left lane. As he sat there he looked around and did a double take.
Passing across the intersection in front of him he saw Josie riding in the passenger seat of a red Miata, staring out the window. He saw her long enough to know she'd been crying � and she had a sad wistful expression on her face as she stared out the window into the night. Sam blinked his eyes. He had a brief glimpse of the driver and was perplexed to realize that the driver looked like Pam Kitterman, the Sex Ed Instructor. 'At least Josie's safe' he thought, exhaling with relief.
The sad look on her beautiful face broke his heart. He knew he was at least partly responsible for causing her pain and hurting her yet again.
There was no way he could hope to catch up to them, and since he had no idea where they might be going, he decided his best option was to continue as planned and go into the mall. He wanted to replace his pictures of Josie anyway and this was a good time to do it. Sam knew that he needed to keep busy in order to keep his sanity, the way this evening had been going. Now, thankfully, he could stop fretting about her physical well-being. Her emotional well-being was something else again. 'She looked so sad and worried,' he thought despondently.
* * *
Anita glanced at her depressed friend as they walked into her apartment. Josie set her purse down and plopped herself in Anita's oversized chair. Anita fixed Josie a diet soda and set it down next to her.
"Josie, it will work out. Please don't feel so sad," she said sympathetically. She reached out and patted Josie's arm.
"I don't see how, Anita. Even if I come up with another story and Gus agrees to it, I still don't see how things can ever work out with Sam. He'll never forgive me for filming him like that," Josie said softly. "And I can't blame him."
Anita could see tears starting to form in her friend's eyes. She went into the kitchen to fix her own soft drink, trying to figure out a way to help her friend. She came back in and sat across from Josie on her sofa � all the while, Josie continued to stare into space. Anita cleared her throat. Looking at Josie, she felt her own eyes misting. Anita decided to try to comfort her friend.
"Josie, Sam loves you. When he understands your situation � that you were forced into this � I'll bet you he will understand. I mean, look at the position he's in � it's not all that different from yours if you really analyze it."
"What do you mean, Anita? He's not lying to me about who he is." Josie asked it skeptically.
Anita took a long drink of her soda, trying to find the right words. "It's not exactly the same, but he isn't telling you about the way he feels because of his job, so in that sense he's keeping something important from you too. His arms are tied because of his job, just like your arms are tied because of yours," Anita explained, nodding. "Then there's the girlfriend situation � something definitely isn't kosher with that."
"Anita, he has had the same girlfriend for five years. Obviously they are very close and he still cares about her. I know that he loves me, but I'm pretty sure he still has feelings for Lara. Rob says he might be still having sex with her," Josie added sadly.
Anita looked taken aback. "What? No way, Josie. Nuh uh. I know men � there's no way that Sam is still sleeping with the girlfriend." Anita shook her head adamantly. "Your brother is very cute, but he has no clue about this one. Trust me."
Josie looked into her friend's eyes. "But she's been to Chicago three times in the past two weeks. What else could that mean?" She asked it curiously.
"I'll tell you what it means. She's losing Sam and she knows it. And I'd bet money on this Josie. After you told me about what happened at Delloser, I snuck into Gus' office and reviewed that tape. Have you ever seen it?"
Josie shook her head. "No, why?"
Anita smiled knowingly as she crossed her legs. "Body language, Josie. It's all about body language."
Josie made a face. "What do you mean body language?"
"I mean Sam's body language. And studying Sam's body�language was my distinct pleasure, believe me!"
Josie made a face. "Come on, Anita. Just tell me what you mean, okay? Get to the point."
Anita laughed and took another sip of her drink. "Okay, okay. Well from the moment he saw you at Delloser, Sam's face lit up. He even touched you a couple of times, on the arm, remember?"
Josie nodded.
"Well, when little miss prissy Lara flounced in and touched him, he looked at first like he didn't know her, then he looked like he wanted her to leave. As a matter of fact he stood as close to you and as far away from her as he could get � and this was when she had that death grip on his arm. Remember?"
Josie nodded in the affirmative, so Anita continued her narrative.
"And when she made her public service announcement about him moving to New York, and said her bitchy little thing about season tickets to the Met, he looked like he was totally embarrassed. But, Josie, when you made your little joke about 'I love baseball,' he actually wrinkled his nose at you, don't you remember? And he touched you again and leaned towards you."
Josie looked confused. "I remember him smiling at me a lot and I did feel like he was irritated with her behavior."
"Well, he was irritated � it was plain to see, and Josie, the man actually twinkled for a moment when he laughed at your little joke. This is a man who normally hides his emotions. He feels so strongly about you that he can barely hide it. You should really look at that tape; you'll see what I mean. I rewound the darn thing like twenty times."
"Okay, Anita, but so what if he wrinkled his nose and leaned towards me � he just thought my joke was funny."
"He loved your little joke. You were so cute and you totally put Lara in her snotty place, in a nice way though. But then when she dragged him away, he looked at you and did it again, didn't you see it?"
"I don't know, Anita. I mean, I know he smiled at me and looked happy to see me and he looked mad at Lara, but what does all that tell you about their relationship � I don't see how you can draw conclusions just based on that."
"It's not just based on that, Josie." Anita smiled. "There's more to the tape than that. Do you remember when you were dancing on the stage?"
Josie turned purple. "Oh, God, Anita � well, sort of� I'd kind of like to forget that part of the evening," she blushed.
"Well, the tape is from your point of view, you can't see you on the tape, so don't look so embarrassed. Anyway, when you were on the stage he was watching you from the balcony and the man was mesmerized � totally enthralled. He was standing beside her, but as far away from her as he could possibly get without bumping into the people next to him. Now that she didn't have you for her audience, she wasn't hanging on his arm anymore and he certainly didn't look excited about her. As a matter of fact he looked like he forgot he was with her." Anita paused to take a deep breath.
"His eyes were totally sparkling while he watched you � it was amazing � his face was so animated. He looked like he was totally enchanted with you. Lara was glaring at you and then she saw the way he was looking at you. Her face got all puckered up and mean - I could tell that she made a nasty comment about you to him and he snapped at her." Anita was getting excited now and was a little breathless as she described the tape to her friend.
"I mean if looks could kill, she would have been history that night. He was so angry with whatever it was that she said. But then he looked back at you and he just glowed. Other than when he snapped at her, he never took his eyes off you, Josie. I've never seen anyone look so in love � and that was before you'd even spent any time together away from school and off camera. That boy's face just lights up whenever he sees you!" Anita finished dreamily.
Josie sighed. "Okay, I know that he loves me, but how do you leap from that to deciding that he's not involved with Lara anymore?"
"Because, I know men. I met the man remember?" Josie nodded, so Anita continued, "I saw the way he responded to you in person and the way he reacted to you on the tape. If there's one thing I'm a good judge of - it's men. And the way that man feels about you, there's no way in the world that he's sleeping with another woman unless he's sleeping with her and pretending she's you. But I don't see him doing that. Not Sam. He's devoted to you, you lucky thing!" She chuckled. "After all I flirted with him and I got nothing, that proves it!"
Josie giggled and then cleared her throat. "Okay, Anita � I guess you are more of an expert on men than I am. So why do you think that she answered his phone today and called him darling - and he pretended like it wasn't me on the phone?"
Anita thought seriously for a minute. "Here's what I think, Josie."
Josie stared at her expectantly.
"I think sometime after the Delloser tape, maybe even that night, Lara and Sam had a huge fight."
"But," Josie started to protest.
"Wait!" Anita held up a hand to quiet her. "Just hold on. I'm not finished. I think they had a huge argument � actually I'd be willing to bet they fought more than once. And I'd also be willing to wager that your name came up more than a few times!"
Josie gasped. "My name?" She asked it incredulously.
"Yup!" Anita replied firmly. "You told me he called you later that night after Delloser, right?"
Josie nodded.
"So, when he called you to check on you, I'm sure she put two and two together and realized that he had strong feelings for you. You should really look at that tape, Josie. She was furious at Sam when he was watching you. I think she probably accused him of having a romantic involvement with a student and more than likely threatened him with exposing his feelings either to you or to the authorities. And since a student is what they both think you are � Now that I've seen that tape, I also believe if he is still with her, it's only to protect you from being hurt somehow. And my gut feeling is that Sam's trying his best to control himself while you are still his student and shield you from Lara � that woman is mean, now that I've seen her, I'm sure of that."
"Now that you've seen her? What does that mean?" Josie questioned.
"I could tell that she was used to bossing him around in that relationship. She looks older than he is and I'll bet she's used to controlling him and calling the shots. Now that he's defied her by falling for you, I'm sure she's pulling out all the stops � harassing him and threatening him � throwing herself at him. Now that she knows she's losing him, she probably wants him more than ever. That would explain all the visits to Chicago in the last two weeks. Poor Sam � that witch is probably making his life a living hell," Anita sighed.
"But she was in his apartment this evening answering the phone. She even called him darling," Josie insisted again.
Anita thought for a minute, narrowing her eyes. "Well, her visiting him certainly is consistent with trying to hold on to him. He's probably just trying to keep the peace while you are still his student. No matter what, I'm sure he loves you and not her. Was he expecting your call?"
Josie shook her head. "No. I've never called him before � I was just calling to give him a message about his car. The garage called my apartment by mistake."
"That makes sense," Anita said nodding. "Then when you called, she probably threw in the 'Darling' business just in case it was you � you know to upset you and torment him." Anita hesitated. "By any chance, when you spoke with Sam did he sound upset too?"
Just like always, Josie was starting to see there was at least some truth in what Anita was saying. "Yes, he sounded very upset and concerned � he asked if he could call me back after the storm, but I said no, I had to go, and then I hung up on him," she said seriously.
"Josie, why?" Anita asked it, shocked.
"Because I was so upset about what happened with Gus and I figured if I could push him away he'd stay with Lara, that way Gus won't be able to hurt him," Josie explained.
"Oh, God. Poor Sam." Anita said it and shook her head. "I know how you can tell for sure if I'm right, Josie. I'm sure that I am."
"How?" Josie asked.
"If you talk to him at the Prom, ask him about the girlfriend. If she's there as his date and everything's fine between them, then I'm wrong about the whole thing. I have a strong feeling that she won't be there and he'll try to explain what's going on. If he does then you definitely go for plan "B."
"What's Plan "B"" Josie inquired, looking seriously at her friend.
"You pull out the camera and tell the man the truth."
* * *
Sam waited patiently at the photographer's booth, while Mary, the woman who had helped him on Sunday, finished assisting several other customers.
When it was Sam's turn, she glanced at him, immediately smiling with recognition. "Oh, hi!" she said cheerfully. Then she studied him with concern remembering what she'd witnessed a little while earlier with regard to the woman he was interested in. She noticed that the handsome young man looked tired and worried as well.
Sam smiled sadly. "Hi, I um was wondering if it would be possible to get another set of copies made of my friend � the ones of her ice skating � you said you had the negatives�"
Mary studied him for a moment. "Yes, I sure do have them. You want another set of copies?" she asked curiously.
She noticed how relieved he looked. "Yes, please. Of course I'll pay whatever it costs to replace them."
"Replace them?" She asked it kindly. "Oh dear, did something happen to the other set?"
Even though Sam didn't know her, he could feel her concern for him. Needing to talk to someone, he said candidly, "My ex-girlfriend took them from me, and I'm afraid she destroyed them," he confessed.
Mary looked at him sympathetically. "What a shame! I'm so sorry that happened to you � I know how much those pictures meant to you." Sam nodded. "I have those negatives back at my house. I have a wedding to photograph this weekend, so let me see. I think I could have those pictures for you by Tuesday evening, if that would be alright?"
Sam nodded again. "That would be great. I'm very sorry to trouble you like this," he apologized.
"Oh, it's no trouble." She studied him for a long moment. "You know that girl in the picture was here earlier," she started, noticing how he'd instantly perked up just at the mention of the girl.
Sam hesitated. He had to ask � even though this woman was a virtual stranger, somehow he trusted her. "How did she seem?"
Mary sighed. "To tell you the truth I was a little concerned about her at first. She was skating so furiously back and forth � that I was afraid the poor thing would break her neck. And she looked like she'd been crying." Sam winced, remembering how sad she'd looked in that car window.
Mary continued, "But then someone she knew came to talk with her � an older woman � she talked with her for quite a while, then a man came up to them and the three of them talked a little." She noticed his eyes narrow at the mention of the man, so she added quickly, "The man was talking mostly to the older woman, not your friend."
Sam sighed. "I thought I might have seen her riding out of the parking lot. Did she leave with that older woman?"
Nodding, Mary explained, "Yes, after the man left, your friend took off her skates and left with the older woman. She seemed in better spirits when they left," she added reassuringly. "Just give me your name and telephone number and I'll have those pictures ready for you to pick up Tuesday evening. I'll call you if there's any problem. If you don't hear from me it means they'll be ready," she explained.
"I'm moving this weekend, so would it be okay if I just give you my name and new address?" Sam asked. "There won't really be a telephone where I can be reached over the weekend so would it be all right if I just call you Tuesday afternoon to make sure they are ready?"
She smiled at him. "That would be fine. Just give me a call sometime Tuesday after 1:00. Just put your name and new address down here," she instructed, handing him a piece of paper. "I hope everything works out for you two," she said kindly.
Sam looked into her eyes. "Me too," he said softly.
* * *
After he had finished at the photography booth, Sam had gone to the jewelry store to purchase another pearl necklace and earring set for Josie. This time he also purchased a silver necklace with a heart on it for her. He'd even waited to have the back of the necklace engraved with their initials � "J & S". As he walked back out into the mall, he decided to check in at Ruby Tuesdays just in case his friend, Scott might be there.
He noticed Scott Romano and Matt Riley sitting in a booth by the window and decided to join them.
"Hey" he said as he walked over to their table.
"Hi," they said in unison. Scott Romano scooted over so Sam could sit down next to him.
"I thought you were going to pack this evening," Scott said quizzically.
"Yeah, well I got hungry," Sam explained rubbing his stomach.
After Sam ordered, Matt studied him for a moment, debating mentally whether or not to bring up what might be a sore subject. He decided to plunge ahead.
"Sam," he started. Sam looked at him expectantly. "Scott was just telling me that he ran into Josie earlier this evening, weren't you Scott?"
Sam's eyes opened wide, wondering if Scott might be the man Mary mentioned. "Oh, how was she?" he asked, even though he already knew the photographer's version of Josie's condition. He figured it couldn't hurt to get Scott's perspective on the situation.
Scott Romano shook his head worriedly. "Not too good, I'm afraid. She looked like she'd been crying. A friend of hers was with her � an older woman � a really attractive one," he sighed dreamily.
Sam was curious about the woman � he'd thought looked like Pam Kitterman. "Did you meet her friend?"
"Yes, her name was Anita. She's a tall brunette, about my age, I'd say. She seemed really nice. And really concerned about Josie." Scott added.
"Anita?" Sam asked. "Are you sure her name wasn't Pam?"
Scott shook his head. "No, her name was Anita Brandt, I'm reserving a ticket for her at the game Monday night. Why do you ask, Sam?"
"No reason, I just thought I may have seen them driving out and from a distance I thought, well never mind, I must have been mistaken," he shrugged. "So you said Josie was upset about something?"
"Yeah," Scott explained. "She said she was alright, but she didn't look alright. When I was walking up to them, I heard her say something about somebody named Gus � I think she was upset about something having to do with some guy named Gus. And Anita was helping her with that � she said it was some kind of romantic problem or something."
Sam's eyes flew open wide. 'There's that name again,' he thought to himself.
"Romantic problem?" he asked worriedly, wondering if this Gus was some sort of romantic rival. That thought hadn't occurred to him previously. That would certainly explain Gus' rude tone on the telephone the night before. And it would also explain his late night call to Josie's apartment, Sam thought jealously. All he needed was another man after Josie. Maybe Gus was more than a softball coach after all � or maybe he wanted to be more. 'Over my dead body!' Sam thought scowling.
"That's what Anita said," Scott nodded. "Although I'm not sure if the romantic problem was connected to the Gus problem. I kind of got the feeling they were two different problems for her, but I could be wrong about that. I didn't want to pry or anything and it really seemed like Anita was helping her. She even told me that Josie was going to spend the night with her because of Josie's power being out � on account of the storm. That seemed like a good thing � that Josie didn't have to go home alone, I mean. I really think she needed someone to talk to, you know?" Scott looked at Sam, whose food had just arrived.
"Hey, before you start eating, let me out would ya? Matt and I already ate � I need to get on home and work on my game plan for Monday," Scott said, excusing himself. Sam stood up to let him out and Scott Romano handed his money to Matt. "Here you go, here's my share. Well I guess I'll see you guys later. Sam let me know if you need any help moving, okay?"
Sam smiled at his friend. "I think I'm fine, but thanks Scott. Hey, thanks for everything," he added gratefully. "I know you'll have your hands full with practices Sunday and Monday. I just hope my movers get there in time Monday evening for me to make it to the game."
"Yeah, me too. And I mean it Sam. If you need me, call me. See you both at the game Monday night, if not before," Scott said and walked out.
Matt Riley waited until Scott Romano was safely out of earshot. He stared at Sam. "So, why is Josie so upset, Sam?" He asked finally.
Sam swallowed a bite of his food, and then confessed, "Part of the reason she's upset is because Lara answered the telephone in my apartment this afternoon when Josie called."
"Lara?" Matt asked, taken aback. "What was she doing in your apartment?"
"It's my fault � I forgot to get the key back from her earlier in the week. She let herself in � didn't tell me she was coming. She was packing up her stuff, but she actually took a lot of my stuff with her � stuff that relates to Josie." Matt raised his eyebrows at that. "Anyway, she grabbed the phone when it rang and it was Josie. Once again � the story of my life � terrible timing." Sam explained sadly.
"What's this stuff Scott was saying about somebody named Gus?" Matt asked, curiously.
Sam took a sip of his water and swallowed. "I don't really know who Gus is. Rob told me he's her old softball coach, but I think something else is going on there, I just don't know what it is. I do know that she met with him this afternoon and she wasn't looking forward to the meeting. I really don't know what it was about though."
Matt studied his friend. "First of all Sam, it's not your fault that Lara did that � it's Lara's fault so quit beating yourself up over it," he instructed.
Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm really more worried about Josie than anything else. At least I know she's safe � spending the night at her friend's place," he said quietly.
Matt nodded. "That's right, so quit worrying about that." He smiled. "I'd be willing to bet she and her friend are talking about what she should do about you right now."
Sam looked skeptical. "I don't know, Matt. I hope she knows I love her, but I really haven't managed to communicate that to her yet. For all I know she's more concerned about this Gus guy, whoever he is," Sam added jealously.
Matt took one of Sam's French fries and dipped it in the ketchup on his plate. " I don't know Sam. She seemed pretty concerned with you at the game yesterday. Don't you think that the time has come to be direct and tell her the truth?" He asked it earnestly as he bit into the French fry.
Sam blinked. "I want to tell her, I just, I just don't know how to go about doing it. I've wanted to tell her for days now. Whenever I try, either I get all tongue tied or like what happened today - she stops me," he sighed.
"She stops you?" Matt asked incredulously.
"Yeah, it's like she's protecting me or something, you know, because I'm still her teacher. It's like she doesn't want me to say it out loud. I really feel like we're on the same wavelength, you know, communicating without speaking sometimes." Matt nodded.
Sam continued, "But then Lara had to mix in and answer my phone and now I'm sure that Josie thinks I'm still, well, you know � having some sort of relationship with Lara."
Matt had to ask. "You're not are you?"
Sam shook his head. "Absolutely not. That's totally over regardless of what happens or doesn't happen with Josie. I can't stand Lara anymore," Sam confessed.
Matt shrugged. "Well sometimes, you just have to get things out in the open, Sam. Regardless of whether Josie tries to stop you. Maybe you should just assert yourself and tell her everything. I think that's what I would do if I were in your situation. When will you see her again?"
Sam sighed. "I guess, really not until the Prom tomorrow night. She was voted Prom Queen, so I'll be the one crowning her � I'll definitely see her then. She'll be with her date, of course. I mean, I mean, well, I was planning to ask her to dance and maybe tell her then, if I can get the words to come out," he said disgustedly.
"Get the words to come out? Sam, you're an English teacher," Matt laughed softly. "If you can't find the words who can?"
"Yeah I know," Sam admitted. "You'd think so, wouldn't you? I can write about emotions and feelings and things like that but I've never, well, �never really been good at expressing verbally how I feel. And with her, I feel so much, it's almost like I feel like the words are choking me � I can't get them organized in my brain to come out of my mouth. Most of the time when she and I are together I just smile at her like an idiot and then I stare at her for too long, then we both get nervous, you know? Or I'll blurt something out that makes no sense at all. I mean, I mean I'm just out of control when it comes to Josie," Sam explained. "I could lecture a class on Shakespeare for two hours, but that's different � I organize that ahead of time, with note cards, you know?"
Matt nodded sympathetically. 'Boy, Sam's got it bad,' he thought to himself.
Suddenly Matt had an idea. "So, if using note cards works, do that!" He suggested.
"What do you mean?" Sam asked, studying his friend intently.
"I mean write what you want to say to Josie on note cards, and peek at them if you need to," Matt explained.
"Peek at them while I'm dancing with her?"
"If you have to � and tell her she makes you so nervous you need them," Matt said smiling. "Women love things like that � knowing they make men nervous. She'll love it. Trust me."
Sam thought about it for a minute. 'Actually, it's not such a bad idea,' he thought to himself. Out loud he said, "Well, maybe it's worth a try � doing it without note cards sure isn't working."
Matt nodded. "Just make a list of all the things you want to tell her, Sam. I'll bet writing it down like that will make it easier to remember � maybe you won't even have to look at the index cards."
Sam smiled weakly. "It can't hurt to try it I guess, but I want to tell her so much, I, I�well, I really don't know where to start � that's part of my problem. The few things I've told her I just kind of blurt out in a panic � I think half the time I startle her, then we both get embarrassed and flustered." He looked at Matt. "Can you help me here, Matt? I mean how would you go about it?"
Matt smiled sagely. If there was one thing he felt he did understand it was women and maybe he could be of some help to Sam. "Well, if it were me, the first thing I'd tell her is that she looks beautiful � because - face it - she is beautiful and this is a Prom so you know she'll look incredible." He noticed that Sam had that far-away moony look on his face.
Matt took another French fry off Sam's plate and continued, "So then, you ask her to dance � after you tell her how great she looks. But make sure it's a slow dance so you can talk." He paused while Sam took out a pen and started to write on his place mat. "You got that Sam?" Sam nodded to his friend.
"I know the order the music will be played in so I can make sure it's a slow dance," he said nodding eagerly.
"Okay, then you tell her something general about the Prom, kind of be casual and relaxed." He noticed that Sam looked skeptical about the relaxed part. "Just do your best, Sam," he said grinning. "Say it's a nice night or you like Proms, or the country club looks nice, something to ease the tension. Then, you need to tell her that you and Lara broke up whenever it was that you actually did break up."
"Last week," Sam said as he wrote it down. "Last Sunday to be exact. I tried to break up with her before that�."
Matt held his hand up. "See, that's where you get into trouble, Sam. Don't explain and go on about it forever. Just say 'we broke up last week.' That should cover it � that's all Josie needs to know. Believe me � she doesn't want to hear more than that about Lara."
"Okay, I got that � don't over explain, just say we broke up last week � so then what?" Sam asked.
Matt cleared his throat. "Then whatever she says right after that, no matter what it is, you compliment her."
"But I already complimented her on how she looks � compliment her again like that?" Sam asked.
"No, not like that, in general. Tell her she's wonderful, great something like that. After all it's the truth � you do think she's wonderful � it's why you're in love with her. Heck I think she's wonderful too," he added grinning. Then he noticed Sam's eyes boring in to him. "She's yours Sam. I gave up, remember � I'm helping you here."
Sam relaxed slightly. His jealous reactions still surprised him as much as they did his friends. "Okay, I tell her she's wonderful or something like that, then what?"
"Then you talk to her a little, about school or her plans � you know college, something like that."
Sam nodded. "I can ask her again about Dartmouth. Whether she's thought about college anymore. Good idea," he added as he wrote it down. "And then?"
"Then you look her right in the eye and you forget the list and tell her you are completely in love with her."
Sam looked at his friend and smiled nervously, nodding. "The truth."
To be continued�